the first date

So me and the hellish bud (this is the only name I can think of to refer to the boy friend!) went to our first serious date. Well actually we had met each other before but not really dating.
It was a little comfy restaurant at the corner of a crowded street with ordinary faces everywhere, nothing at all luxurious but still romantic and with the sun light beaming down on us it was a bit erotic too.
I like his complexion though a bit pale, more than that I love his black eyes, well yes dark brown.
I think eyes speak more freely than words, and I communicate much better through looking than words, I was never good at using words and most of the times I sound offensive cos I talk frankly.
I dunno why but on my very first dates I’m hell nervous that I can hear my heartbeat but once getting used to each other, I’m not shy anymore, i can be even flirty . I thought it should be different round guys, I have never dated any guy like this, I had a boy friend that I thought I was hell in love and I really wanted to get married with him but he was a real asshole I can never forgive.
But THB (the hellish bud) is different, we can get on well easily and he’s roughly my age so it makes us closer.
We’ve been together laughing and joking more than a day but when I thought of that time as a date I could feel my heart jumping outta my ribcage; it was so ridiculous.
We just ate nuggets and went back home cos the baby girl felt bored and started crying. It was a funny occasion to be called date but well it was.
Next time we wanna find an Italian restaurant cos I crave for anything Italian but we gotta wait till my wife joins us and watches the girl.
I have 3 more days to spend idly before going to work, I’m thinking of going to the movies!

Gay innocence

I always wondered why some people are allergic to this word “GAY”, they can accept anything but being homosexual.
To some it’s ok that a gay guy lives 3 blokes away but when it comes to their own family or friends it’s a big sin, never should be committed ,never thought of!
Talking about morals, I think society has no right to tell me what to do and what not to do related to my sexuality.
It’s not something I choose by own will, it’s just a feeling.
For me this sentence is really true:” I was so gay that I got married”
I love my wife and my girl but it doesn’t mean I enjoy everything related to them; they have their own bad habits that annoy me.
But I really disagree with those who say:” When two people marry, they’re not only making a solemn vow to be there in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, but also to be complete and total whores for each other. “
To me soul mate is a lot different from sex mate, my wife doesn’t expect me to act like whores neither do I.
The very first time I fell in love with her, I had another partners. I love her soul, her character, her personality, her attitude but not the body; it’s not something that can satisfy me.
She’s a great lover, her body is hot, I saw other guys stripping her with their eyes but the problem is I was never straight, may be some say I’m bi but the reality is on the scale of 1 to 10, I got 8-9 for being gay.
I never dared to tell my parents I loved that guy on grade 8; I always covered myself behind my female- friends. How could I be gay when I hung most of my time with girls?
As I grew older I learned to try new things, at 18 I was so open to try new things that I can say I craved for doping new drugs.
I still met girls to try new things but I never dared to try it with guys.
My dreams were clear, I wanted to try it with a guy but down in my mind there was this big “NO” sign.
For doing drugs you need money and I had gone too far from my lines that anyone wanted to support me, so I got an idea.
Fucking for the money, and at first it was mostly elder women looking for fresh meat.
Once I got an offer from a guy, I was quite drunk so that “NO” sign couldn’t stop me; I gave it a try.
It was no good memory cos to me it was more like a rape and the pain was so intense I passed out. But well my first experiences were always painful.
The next time I was more cautious, and there I went.
But that wasn’t the life I wanted  for the rest of my life.
Things went back to usual, no drugs, less drinks and i had a girl to love. But once the same-sex marriage became legal in Massachusetts, I couldn’t help myself not to give it another try.
So I jumped outta my cover and i dated some guys, no girl this time cos i was hell sure about my sexuality.
Then again back to what most people think as normal, i got married and moved to another city.
Life was as normal as ever till me and my boyfriend met.
And as much as loved being with my wife, I wanted him to live with us.
But the problem was that we lived in a small town and many things weren’t much accepted.
So we moved to a bigger city and we’re trying to start everything from step one.

Now I wonder things could be much better without that sign. I don’t blame my parents but that stupid sex education at school. If later they want to say “same-sex marriage” is legal, then why should they put a big taboo on homosexuality at school?
No one blame a boy for crushing on the girl sitting round the corner but he has no right to love the boy sitting next to him.
Why should gay teens be so alone and outcast?
He is as innocent as the rest of the class. A gay can be innocent so why people try to make it look devil?
Note: I don’t know anything about lesbian life at schools but I like to know.