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Monthly Archives: October 2006


i cant believe i get to the place that ………..

never mind i better die



happy hallloooooweeeennnnnn

yohahhaha lock yer doors tonight, i want chocolates

The proprietor of a successful optical shop was
instructing his son on how to charge a customer.

“After you have fitted the customer’s glasses,” he
said, “and he asks you what the charge will be,
you say, ‘$200.’ Then see if he winces.

“If the customer doesn’t wince you say, ‘For the frames.
The lenses will be another $200.’

“If he still doesn’t wince, you say firmly, ‘Each.'”

spcial thanks to  sandra

and the following is my pizza, not to mention how it was done! (all done by the big kid-me- & several kids)pizza.JPG


walking leisurely by kuskakwim, one cool night, slowly slowly you can feel the creeping winter coming, yesterday was around 28-29 & surely it’s gonna drop more. what am i expecting? surely it’s not hawaii, but feeling cold or warm is not always related to temperature, right?how many times you had this weird feeling of being cold in an extremely hot day & being warm in a cold day?

so i was walking by kuskakwim, sooner or later this river gonna freeze & it wont melt for several months.
compared it with charles, the silent river running through boston to reach ocean, the river that witnessed many lives, many deaths, the history of america & yes it’s so silent, so calm as if it’s not moving, it’s been there since i was a little kid, i walked by its side many times, on my own or with different people, there are many dark corners by its side, im sure you can still hear the song of sad coins in metal cups, calling for help. and you pass by, sometimes you look at the guy with the cup, black or white, it’s the same, asking for the same thing with the same accent. i doubt they remember the boy who walked by the river so many nights, sometimes you could hear the coin song from his pocket too trying to share his metal circles with those cups, sometimes holding hands of his girl, looking for a big rock to rest & start his guitar party. now he’s gone & only charles remembers him.

and i was walking by kuskakwim, miles away from charles, moving proudly to reach another big water, it has its own story, witnessed another history, there’s no long sad song of coins by its side, its lively happy whispers & shouts, whenever it escape from its icy cage, it gives life, it gives happiness, not at all mean like charles, in warm summer days it feeds many families, it washes away the pain of long cold winters, so it cant be silent, when it’s moving it wants the world to hear him.

then i was walking by kuskakwim, her little warm hand holding my little finger, she put all her fears in her little hand & gave it to me, singing happily with the river, laughing as if there’s nothing in this planet that can harm her cos she’s holding my hand. sometimes she turned her head to look for her mom, i followed her looks & there she was, sitting calmly on a rock with a big smile ensuring her little angel that she’s waiting there till she comes back.

so it’s time to end my torture. i’ve been thinking about that night for a long time, i’ve thought enough, so much that i cant hear the sirens anymore, there’s no smell of burning fuel & blood in the air, it’s so vague now, it’s an old memory, nothing that i wanna keep in my heart, so this year i wrote my last letter, i’ve been through so many sad & happy days that it seemed it was more than a year but it wasnt, & i’ve grown-up, i dumped the boy when i left boston, so why not forget the rest.

so i was standing by kuskakwim, the river i started my new life by its side & i let it carry away my last mail cos this time i didnt wanna burn it, i watched it go, a few tears and i erased the memory, i wont let it bother me again. so “goodbye mom, goodbye dad” , i know they are watching me, they’re always with me but only the good memories, thanks for loving me thanks for sharing your life, thanks for dedicating yourselves, i’ve learned my lessons & i promise to try my best to be as responsible as dad and as caring as mom, i love you for ever.

and in the distance i could hear meg calling my name, so did alexis in her weird language that it so much sounded like “dad” to my ears, i looked at the river again & there was no sign of my letter.

and i was running by the side of kuskakwim to join my family, there was an hour drive on the trails to get back home & it was getting dark.

happy eid to my muslim friends

Not read it myself, may be….

Before your venture out into the sea of dating
give yourself a check up from the neck up and
all the way around. I don’t mean go rush off to
the doctor.

Stand in front the mirror and look at yourself.

Take stock of what you see, where do you excel
and what areas can you improve.

Now be honest where are you on the scale of
1 to 10 ?

Look at your face, body, style, personality and

Try to see yourself the way others will see you.

This scale can slide a little, maybe your physical
score is a 6 while being smart, holding a good
conversation, and making people laugh can
push your personality score to a 9. Personality
goes a long way.

We all need to laugh so being outgoing and
witty means a lot. Style makes heads turn
and you don’t have to break the bank to show
good fashion sense.

You may not go out and land a date that is
a 9 or 10 all the time but that is the reason
to give yourself a check up.

Don’t go setting your standard too high, it
only sets you up for rejection.

Remember no matter where you are on that
scale from 1 to 10 there is always someone
out there for everyone.


We have to be complete in ourselves
before we can share ourselves with

Don’t look for what you may feel is missing
in yourself from someone else.

days come & go, sometimes fast, sometimes slow & im no more growing up but growing old.
it’s a while im used to the now increasing number of white hairs on my head. i’ve told them many times im jus 25 ,so wTF they’re doing there, but seems they keep on ignoring me.
& now im sitting all alone inside your head, you know im sure no one else ever dared to tell you that it’s so empty. i wonder how surprised will be the scientists who find your body after your death wondering how you servived that long without any brain!?!
i really dunno how should i treat people; whenever im laughing & making fun of any possible thing i can think of & make them smile, they call me “crazy” whenever i wanna be serious or they ask why i’m sad or what’s bothering me.
and im tired, im tired of my curly dry hair for being too hard to comb ( cos i comb them every 1 year) & i dont wanna go to barber cos i dont have money to waste; besides i wanna look like my ancestors , the primitve ones. but i better shave or the little alex won’t lemme kiss her, schhiiiitttt, i even have to beg my little demon for my rights as a parent.
in 2 weeks time, halloween, my day, will come, yeah i know it’s too early, so fucking early, there’s no other day in calender that i care about from such an early time, even christmas, the earliest shopping attempt would be 24th (if i am in good mood)
but halloween, it’s a different day, not that cos i like the so many ridiculous things on it, people making ass of themselves & children dont like it as much as i did when i was a little boy. i jus keep myself busy with halloween to forget about other things.
the earlier i think about them, the earlier i start keeping busy with halloween stuff.
hell it still sucks, & i hate the memories for being so clear, wish i could have a brainwash.
& im tired………….
i know i wont be lonely this year, i have a family of my own, but ………..
& i hate myself for feeling so emo, wish my dad was here & slapped hard on my face & told me grow up boy, you’re not a teen anymore.
i still can rememeber the day, one weird day, without me being the jerkass & no attempt to try to ruin anyone’s time. i still can remember the good lunch we had together, the last one, one happy family schhiiitttt it sucks, it hurts
& i swear they knew their time were up, or why the hell they should called every fucking guy they knew to say goodbye & ask for their forgiveness.
oh God please help me get through this time without acting like a shitttt cos im aware of the times how annoying i am when feeling blue.

to every one who bother themselves reading my crap, thank & sorry for bugging you with my stupididty, but i know no other way to forget the whole incident, it’s gonna be 10 years soon & i still feel the same, even worst………..

this must be me……

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.
St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re
an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is
let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied
with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing
and building improvements. After a while, they’ve
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day G~d calls Satan up on the telephone and
says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there
in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to
come up with next.”

G~d replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer?
That’s a mistake–he should never have gotten
down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer
on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

G~d says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah,
right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”


it’s another blankness attack, seems some one formatted all my hard disk. im all blank. nothing interesting comes to my mind, it’s all the same. the same long road outta hell. i hate feelin like this, when things are not as bad as it seems, the sun’s killing himself to find a way to send his last rays between small gaps of thick clouds, making the sky look a different blue, something purple may be. & here i am staring at the sky and seeing nothing, i hear voices but it seems they’re not for my ears. nothing’s for me. and i start another stupid struggle, fighting demons with empty hands cos i left my sward in a place i shouldnt gone. nothing more to discover, yeah sounding so like a big piece of shhiiitttt. & even these heavy rains cant wash me away. have you ever felt your soul’s too dirty that it can never look cleaner than shit. im ashamed of myself, my deeds & the fact i cant change, better say i dont wanna change cos i love dirt & im hell jealous of those guys with clear souls, always ready to face death & be sure there’s no other place for them than heaven. im not even sure about having the tendancy to meet death, whatif i die now? i know what’s waiting for me, a pot of molten metal ready to be poured on me & probably worst. this time im not writing for anyone, to anyone but jus myself, for myself, to remind myself of the virginity lost. to reallize im digging deeper and deeper in the world of shits and dirt. to slap myself to wake up. it’s no use to play hide & seek forever, for how long, how far do i wanna go on this foolish game. what’s the use of running away from the real-me, breaking mirrors to avoid my ugly face. im tired of myself. once a while i start this loop of “why you dont stop being a shit!” get to somewhere then lost in my dirty everyday life & forget everything, then may be sometime somewhere something remind me of the things i dumped & the loop goes on again, this time less effective. im sure if i dont stop it right now, sooner or later i stop hearing my own angel & drown in eternal hell. so this day is the rememberance of the many good things lost, it’s a warning, it’s a fortune to remember who i should be. this time next year may be i wont be on this planet, but if i am, i pray to Lord to help me improve, to be better & not be so much ashamed of myself. so for the start: I do appologize all guys who were some how offended by my words. im sorry for my harm to you. for the sake of the one you worship, forgive me. i promise to try my best to think once before saying anthing. thanks for tolerating my shit.

yeah yesterday was friday 13th

i sent all my hexes to you so please put your hand on yer nose and stop breathing

thanks so much

so you lay down motionless on the ground, drops of blood here & there & yeah, a pool of blood right near your heart, you can still feel the hot penetrative metal bullet in your body, you can see the blood running outta it, another breath & that was the last.
now your body’s all dead & you’re jus standing outta it, time to say good bye to your body. once it used to belong to you, it was all up to you to make it go to places it didnt want, watch things it hated, touch disgusting things,….
& now it’s all there, on its own, not listening to you at all & you’re standing there naked , hey hey it’s not a nightmare, wake up. the game’s over. open your eyes, look, listen, touch on by your own senses.
now you can hear the sirens, you can see the guys out there, it’s been a while since they arrived and you were so busy saying farewell that you didnt noticed your surroundings.
come closer, take a thorough look, yeah, good. so you got the point that your shooter stole your vallet too, no identity anymore. may be later they find out who the fuck you were, a real bitch that nobody cares about you, sooner or later they’re gonna close your file without finding the murderer, you were a worthless asshole, who would care about you?
Go to hell now cos nobody will ask Lord for RIP for your soul.
heyyyyyyy, i didnt mean that kinda firing, i wanted to thank those bastards for giving me the sack. Perverts, fuckwits,retards…$#%#^#$^
im a real jerkass at work but those who can fuck the shit outta me & make me quit are real @$$holes, i swear.
ok, let’s forget about the extra K bucks, at least im back home, a caring wife & a naughty kid all together. you know sometimes the money’s not worth the trouble.
let’s get down to business aka cooking dinner.
btw anybody knows how i can turn off the faucet in the sky, these endless rains are drowning Ak.

“Sales Call”
A salesman telephoned a household, and a four-year-old boy answered. Salesman: “May I speak to your mother?”
Boy: “She’s not here right now.”
Salesman: “Well, is anyone else there?”
Boy: “My sister.”
Salesman: “O.K., fine. May I speak to her?”
Boy: “I guess so.”
At this point there was a very long silence on the phone.
Boy: “Hello?”
Salesman: “It’s you. I thought you were going to call your sister.”
Boy: “I tried. But I can’t get her out of the playpen.”
First Dental Exam”
A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up. The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but no response. After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check.
The dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well. “How old are you?” No response.
The dentist then asked, “Don’t you know how old you are?”
Immediately four tiny fingers went up. “Oh,” replied the dentist, “and do you know how old that is?”
Four little fingers went up once again.
Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, “Can you talk?”
The solemn little patient looked at him and asked, “Can you count?”

 a friend jus called me & told me ’bout another friend’s death

as usual i dunno why? ok seems his time was up, but he was young, very young but at least the pain is over

RIP Mick

 Sweet words are easy to say, Sweet things are easy 2 buy, But sweet people are difficult to find. Life ends when U stop dreaming, Hope ends when U stop believing, Love ends when U stop caring, Friendship ends when U stop sharing. So share this with whom ever U consider a friend. To love without condition, To talk without intention, To give without reason, And to care without expectation is the heart of a truefriend

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into
his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After
trying to start a conversation several times
and getting only distracted grunts he asks
Eric what the problem is.

“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those
women’s questions women ask. Now I’m in
deep doo-doo at home.”

“What kind of question?, asked Tom.

“My wife asked me if I would still love her if
when she was old, fat and ugly.”

“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say
‘Of course I will'”.

“Yeah”, said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I
said ‘Of course I DO….'”

1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

3. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

4. How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

5. What do fish say when they hit a concrete

6. What do Eskimos get from sitting on
he ice too long?

7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t
A stick.

8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

9. What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

10. What do you call four bullfighters in
Quatro sinko.

11. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
12. What do you get when you cross a
snowman with a vampire?

13. What lies at the bottom of the ocean
and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

14. What’s the difference between roast
beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

15. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

26. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

17. Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.

18. What kind of coffee was served on the

19. What is the difference between a Harley
and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag.

20. Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their

21. What’s the difference between a bad
golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: Whack, Dang! A bad skydiver
goes: Dang! Whack.

22. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee
divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.


kitties are cute, no doubt. may be much better than dogs, actually you dont need to be reminded of your idiotic acts 24 hours ( the actual mean of keeping dogs).
back to kitties, those who know me well are aware of the fact how much i hate animals let alone keeping them as pets, they’re jus good as shooting objects otherwise im allergic to them.i guess my hatred of cats is not all cos of allergy but some bitter childhood memory.i can remember the first school bag my mom bought me was a blue one with a “kitty the cat” on it& hell i hated that bag, it was so much girlish, by the end of the first month i managed to tore that bag in a way that mom had to buy me another one.

when i was younger i hoped the allergy vanish as i grow up but it didnt, so no matter how much wife loves keeping an animal as a pet, she doesnt dare doing it when im around cos she gotta tolerate my bad moods & i guess it’s not worth it.
now with me away from home, my dear wife took advantage of my absence & invited a homeless kitten to our place. (well it wasnt really homeless, actually it was a trained little cat that belonged to a teen now moved to another city & her parents were trying to get rid of her kittens.)
so this little kitten- let’s call it “lick fcuk”-came to live in my used to be comfy home & you had no idea how happy meg was when talking about this cursed creature, i bet she wasnt this happy when she married me hihihihi
so she was telling me about how nice & cute & yada yada yada that cat was when outta blue she hung up on me. i was like:”wtf” for 10 minutes till she called back.
apparently “lick fcuk” tried to get into alexis’ box (her precious possession, the place you cant go there without her permission) & then alexis stopped playing with her toys & ran to her box with the velocity of light to defend her territory.
so the most baneful deadly bloodshed in the history started, that’s actually the time mom had to act quick.
now “lick fcuk” is homeless again ,nobody’s killed & everything ‘s back to normal. im extremely thankful to alexis for kicking that creature outta home.
i love her lots,surely ” like father like daughter” is so true about me & her hihihihi

Recently we have received credible intelligence that
there have been seven terrorists working in your office.
Fortunately, six of the seven have been apprehended.
Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin,
Bin Drinkin and Bin Behind-Kissin have all been
taken into custody.
At this time, no one fitting the description of the
seventh cell member, Bin Workin, has been found
at your office.
We are confident that anyone who looks like he’s
Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.
You are OBVIOUSLY not a suspect at this time.

“Wishful Thinking”

For a while my husband and I had opposite
schedules. He worked during the day, and I worked
at night. One morning I noticed he had left a not to
himself on the kitchen counter that read, “STAMPS!”

As a helpful surprise, I bought him some at the post
office and put them on the counter before going to

The next morning I found the same note. The word
“STAMPS!” was crossed out. Underneath it he had

yes i am sick of not being home. whatever, this flash thing was really cool, give it a try 

getting up this morning, lots of things werent in their right place, i slept in a shrunk bed, more like sleeping in alexis’ crib. in the distance i could hear voices, apparently i was the last to wake up. im so used to alexis morning “get up” songs that i felt i could get back to sleep cos it was still early. but after a long struggle at last i managed to overcome the sleeping beast.
thanks to me beibg so tired last night that i had no time for breakfast. so i had to get ready in a flash of light & then i remembered i really need a shower, so where’s my towel?!? no idea, everybody else was ready, who’s still wandering round the place aimlessly?!! well that’s me.
no towel, no shower (honestly i was so sleepy i was afraid of touching water cos it’d wake me up!)
thanks heavens at last i managed to find some clothes or i really had to go to work naked.
so after a long struggle (almost 5 minutes) me was ready waiting outside for the last guy to join. then car pool! ok thanks i’ll get in any auto you show me, i really dont wanna drive, i wanna sleep.
now the first day at work’s over. almost everyone in the office knows me cos im the guy who handed the boss my half empty cup of coffee before shaking hands with him & again im that guy who crashed into a glass door & gave everyone a heart-attack. ( you have no idea how sleepy i was)
now im sitting here with puffy red eyes & cant sleep. jus waiting for the clock to strike 9 & hear my cellphone ringing.
evidently, everyone’s used to me by now, i gotta think of a name for myself before others giving me names. & i better go to bed early cos i dont wanna let that glass thing hit me again.
conclusion: & life sucks, im staring at the clock miles away from my fam, having not much to do except wondering about what they are doin at the moment. foolishly im home sick.
ps: im sure im gonna feel a lot better as soon as i meet a nice lady yoahahahaha

fcuk this world, why the shit always pour right on my head?!

ok thanks God, i have an extremely tight schedule till 15th of feb. next year, that means i wont have much time roaming in the net, fuck this life to its extremes *~*