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Monthly Archives: January 2006

not much blogging lately!

holy shit, i’m tired of fcuking round blogs & getting to the same things i hate every now & then!

there are guys who love their counter hit hundreds per week, i enjoy having readers, i dont deny , but there are times i really like it to be private, this is why i have 3-4 pages (means different subjects) in my idaily but no post!

the thing you can do to make yer blog have many readers:

1. comment on any available shitty creepy page! so yo can get all those shitty creepy bloggers to yours.

2. writing about above 18 stuffs! i tried this one & this really works.

3. HNT:i hate this abbr. it get on my nerves, whenever i roll down a page & see that bloody thing i close it, wtf! it’s a while it’s spread in blogger world, i wanna be serious with myself, do we need these readers?!

ok i know all i write bs & not many (aka no one) read this shit, but i dont care, i like blogs like my own, not always writing about their daily activities but their thoughts!


hhhmmm what else to say?!

You just stood there screaming
Fearing no one was listening to you
They say the empty can rattles the most
The sound of your voice must soothe

yeah ‘tallica again, that’s why i like it, it jus has the right thing at the right time!

geez blank again!

sth to laugh:

i’m crazy becoz: qaurter means one third ; january has 30 days, loud music is a good replacement for jogging when you’re not in the mood!

what i got on TV this week?

hhhmmm tmnt (episode 12) + a nice guy talking about so many benefits & advantages of celery, the most important one to name: extracting the juice& drinkin it helps yo lose several pounds! really perfect for me!

why dont they talk about how to put on weight?!?!

i made myself some cre’me caramel& it tasted yucks, but i know it used to be yummy, guess i dont like sweet things anymore!

that’s it!

*hnt: half-nekkid thursday

edit: i lied about hnt, i look at the pics carefully then close the page 🙂

im gonna make my own fns=full naked sunday! heheheh 😉



here goes another term!


hmmm what does that mean?!

ok have a doggie year, full of dogs!


it’s raining, yeah raining cats & dogs.

i wanted to take a shower out! too cold!

everywhere’s covered by water, so better find my swiming suit!

hey anyone knows how to upload a pic here!?!?

geez, better get back to my work!

i’m done

that’s it

check here


wow, i feel a lot better, i finished my 2 papers, gotta study for tomorrow& then have a whole week off, it’s gonna be amaazin’ i have loa things to watch & do.

i’m gonna make a few changes here too!

i feel good today but still busy, 2 papers to finish & a book to read, awsome!

let it be as they like, i’m kinda in the middle of blankness, but no bad feeling & that’s good. yesterday i was ready to cry if found the right guy, aha i watched fantastic 4 forthesecond time, once in English & once in farsi, i had no idea why they censored so many parts!

just 3 more days & i’d be back to normal.

have a nice time till then.

i feel good today but still busy, 2 papers to finish & a book to read, awsome!

let it be as they like, i’m kinda in the middle of blankness, but no bad feeling & that’s good. yesterday i was ready to cry if found the right guy, aha i watched fantastic 4 forthesecond time, once in English & once in farsi, i had no idea why they censored so many parts!

just 3 more days & i’d be back to normal.

have a nice time till then.


i’m jus a mixture of nothing, all nothing, hell i feel so bad, like someone’s tearin’ me apart, jus want somebody gimme a big pile of courage, a push, a bag of hope. i dammed need it, it’s all stress that i cant tolerate, i have a terrible feeling of anger & misery; all my fault again, & i dont have enough faith in myself, i wanna cry & vanish; i wanna hang myself, i have a brain full of uncategorized items, oh God please help, i dont wanna fail cos it means my mental death, i dont wanna go through another foolish term like the one i had last year, i dont want to repeat over & over , like an endless story, wish me luck & pray , i really need it.


i’d be dammed busy with the books; that’s it.

yesterday i ate lunch at 4 pm & went to bed before 7, now i woke up & it’s 4.10am next morning

i was fuckin’ tired.

at last i saw my nightmare completely, i was tired of seein’ somebody pulling back my hiar, at last he cut my head off, i feel a lot better 🙂

aha i chatted with my friend after a long time; i thought  it was great; but now i feel really bad. i shoudnt promise the thing i’m not sure i can do. so i decided to think about it later; argh i dont like serious things.

but i promise to keep my promise !heheheheh:(

dooahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it sucks as hell

why full?

 i jus cant get it; let’s pray i can fix it later.

wanna go home cos i’m starvin

i’m just tryin to manage my time; i have to & i must.

so for today just a link to the promised pics:

Sleeping very soundly on a Saturday morning,
I was dreaming I was Al Capone.
Rumours going round, gotta clear out of town,
Smell like a dry fishbone.
Here come the law, gonna break down the door,
Carry me away once more.
Never, never, never want it anymore,
Gotta get away from this stone cold floor.

 what should i write here?! i’m really sleepy & dammed tired; i feel a lil bit sore throat; yep & a little feverish; haven’t seen sun for over a week now ;third day of almost non-stop snow; i wanna make a big snowman; i wanna ski; no way! gotta stay in! hhhhmmmm why? well i have a terrible exam waitin’ on wednesday; actually 2! holy shit. hhmm got another deadtime for my papers;24th! yipee; so i can write 2-3 pages everyday & get it finish! About today’s exam; better not say anything cos over 60% just said:”gonna fail”. i’m sayin the same!? well not actually; i think i can get at least 60! ok i hope so! gotta get back to my books; i should put a reminder on the door not to forget registretion times; it’s crazy when you haven’t finished yer exams; what i gonna do?!?!?!?!? let’s focus on this finishin’ term; i’ll get to business later. how much i wanna suck on an icicle. or jus some snow with hot chocolate; yes that’s a good idea; i’m gonna make myself hot chocolate this evening. i really cant keep my eyes open; i have to pass my partial equations; I MUST; yes i must; that’s the truth. today i spent another day thinkin’ about gettin’ master’s in management or why not literature!hhhhmmm?! yep sounds good; then i can sing a poem while the molten iron’s pourin’ in the cauldron waitin’ for the slag to be removed, wow it’s so romantic or i’m just toooooo sleepy;byebye. i wanna dream sun , cos it’s a while i dont have any idea whether it’s day or night. :l i’ll send some snow covered pic links tomorrow.wait for it yoohahahahah. if nothing was sent then i’d be possibly frozen!

just a few more discoveries on the shit i spread in my environment & then back to study.

some fact files about me:

i’m really tired of hearin’ the same things in the last few weeks & days, for instance:

1. me:”if only i had more time.””i need more time to finish my stuff””i’m gonna take next term more seriously.””i swear i wont play lazy ass another time; gimme more time pleaseeeeeeee” pro:”unpossible”

5.somebody “hey baby, have you noticed the changes in yo?” me:”naaaaaaaaaaah”

6.the same sombody:”hey boy, you grown up in an unbelievable speed, welcome to the adults world.” me:”??????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!kiddin’ ,right?”

7.some wise guy:” how do you do that?” me:”do what?” s.w.g:”you look a lot thinner than yesterday!”

me:”aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhh, not again!”{it takes at least 3 full eaating weeks to put on 1-2lb!)

8.some guy:”wooooooow you look like engineers!?” me:” sure?! guess it’s cos of my greasy hair””when can i get rid of this remainin’ papers?” my conscience:”when you rest your ass on the chair & write it.” me:” really?! yo outta yer mind!hehehehehe”, my conscience frowns.

ok just the summary of my day & the comin’ days.

wooooooooooooooy gotta hand my papers on saturday, jesus christ , it’s impossible

i have a terrible hydro examtomorrow; oh my god, it sucks; how can i get my stinky brain on the whole book in a day; it takes ages to finish it.

just imagine i finished it in time; had my exam; finished me 2 papers(at least 20-30pages each,sob!)before friday noon; super impossible!!!! then i got registeration for next term,ouuuuuuuuuch; it’s all mess, i wanna finish in a year & holy shit most of the subjects i want is not on the list; let’s pray i can do it the way i like, oh my……

ok then i have 3.5 days at most to finish my iron extraction books(somebody help meeeeeeee) & finish the partial equations ;my true all time nightmare;oh heavens; my math sucks; who said i gotta read this foolish advanced stuff when i cant solve a simple differential equation?; sooooooooooooob. i gotta be Einstein to get rid of this hell.

and after that takin’ two terrible exams in a day; i have 2 fuckin’ days to find a way to get rid of my last exam; my last nightmare.

ok if i was still alive till sunday22nd; i can enjoy a week before 30th january & the new term(ohhhhhhhhhhh…..)i’m gonna spend at least 2 days in the snowwwwwwwwwwwwww

& if still alive; i’m gonna step into a hectic miserable year to launch into the last step i wanna take before death; Master’s; so seems at last i grew up; it’s not lovely to imagine gettin’ up early in the mornings, wearin’ suits & ties….,havin’ the disgustin’ job in a cubicle& live the very splendid life of a robot called hell boy robot.

d’ oahhhhh who let me get my ass in this terrible things that surley none of my business; i wanna play with my toy guns & cars, break windows, climb walls, break other kids’ toys, make snowman(there’s a nice snow comin’, makin’ me feel like daydreamin’ skiin’ hikin’ woooooooooooow it’s cool!).

i dont wanna grow up, i dont wanna, don wanna, DONWANA!

“mommy, can i have an icecream if i make my bed?!”

sobsob, time to get back to real world, wish i could stop gettin’ older.

i try to upload some pics, here’s the link:

PS there’s a thin layer of snow(1-1.5inch) now! i took the pic an hour ago

PPS if anyone can find me a way not to be an adult, tell me; i’d be happy even if it is playin’ with dolls!geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, time’s up!


first snow

cool exam

dammed busy

lost my wallet

i need timeeeeeeeeeeee

wow, what a great day, i wanna cry like the cryin’ sky.

i had this song in my mind:” it was the night when the sky rained fire!” yep irrelevant

geez, let’s forget this horrible exam & get to the other.

& pray i can get above 70!(keep prayin!)

today’s secret penpals day or sth like! woooy!
dont think serious of my posts, at least for the next 2 weeks, till i’m done with my exams.
exam time=i’m outta my mind; i have examphobia; that’s the reason i dont study!lol!
guess you gotta read many crazy posts here(hehehehe)
for instance today i had an unfair battle with a roach! it just kept movin’ up & down my clothes & i didnt have the access to my glasses; geez, it was cold so i couldnt get outta bathroom! so unfair; sob!
next time i’m gonna take me glasses to the shower too! it keeps it clean.
oops better get back to my books! 🙂


For the friendship once was so dear & for my secret box in your garbage can

January 5th, 2006, 10 days after christmas, none of my dreams came true & this new year is far beyond my tolerance.

i got this horoscope today;wish it was true, but i know it’s all lie.

SAGITTARIUS 2006 ASTROLOGICAL HIGHLIGHTS: You know what’s right for you this year — the best answers sing out to you, and you need only to listen(REALLY?!?!?). Your conviction is renewed, and deciding what is next is easy. It’s as though the sun comes out to increase the contrast and the gray areas have disappeared(I DOUBT IT!) This month brings a leader to your life.( I KNOW HIM,Izrāīl) This person teaches you how to be more resourceful and how to handle heavy responsibility with grace. It’s important to soak up all you can because in March, you’ll be leading others in much the same way.(TO DEATH) There is no way to successfully complete tasks alone. Bring your best ideas to the table at work in June, and you’ll be promoted. (PROMOTE TO HELL!)Proving yourself is still required, but if you stay focused, it won’t be a problem. There are personal dramas galore throughout June. Try not to get wrapped up in them. Less-advantaged people need your help in July. This could require you to rally friends and colleagues together, which will be fun and also have perks for your personal life.(UNPOSSIBLE) Gentle progress with loved ones is featured through the summer. Try not to push. People are who they are and will only change when ready.(CAN ANYONE LOVE ME BESIDES SATAN?!)

i read so many of these terrible crap that i can write my own book. i’m gonna do it soon & sell it to those foolish guys who believe such crap. our days are orbitin’ round our acts, thoughts & behaviors; not round the planets in solar system!

i had one of my worst days. in a second i turned to that ol’ aggressive ogre i know for years, nothing lovely about it. it’s just part of me, been shoutin’ angrily all day long, all the people around me are absolutely mad & cant remember the little naughty boy the previous day givin’ em another bright lively happy day. i cant remember that boy either; he’s gone, he’s dead.

hell i just feel sth is suffocatin’ me i wanna cry, i feel the tear drops formin in my eyes but nothing happens, i jus cant cry, i jus cant shout & wish i jus couldnt breathe.

if only i dared finishin’ this foolish struggle & all was done, one hell finished & i’d buy the one-way ticket to eternal hell, cheer.

i had the worst time of my life recently ( well i had more horrible times than this but never felt like a loser this much!) i had this intense struggle & at last i did it. & waitin’ for the consequences was worst than that, i just had no idea.

first i need a word definition:

LIE» verb (lies, lying, lied, lied) [V] ~ (to sb) (about sth) to say or write sth that you know is not true:

You could see from his face that he was lying. * Don’t lie to me!

LIAR»noun a person who tells lies:

Shelley wasn’t a very good liar .

ok, let’s get back to business. a friendship built on lies is not worth a red dime.

that’s my idea; but seems i cant keep up with my own moralities. i’m a lyin’ bitch & it’s gospel truth.

omg, what a hell i done here; my mind is in a complete mess. lyin’ is much easier than confession & the reason you confess is jus because yo wanna get rid of the preasure yo have, one lie then you gotta say more to keep the wheel movin’.

what am i doin’ on earth? well i dunno, i just cant understand why & how some people can love life so much. i hate Adam & Eve. if they hadnt eaten from the forbidden tree, then i wouldnt be here, i wouldnt exist & it was much better, better than my dreams.

ok here it is, you start your day with a little lie & then get into trouble; what a hell you can do? well another lie can fix it & suddenly you realize you are in the middle of your lies , forgot who you really are. ok well guess many guys know what i mean. it’s jus as simple as cheatin’ in yer exam then in yer job & then yer life, yer wife/husband & worst than those, yourself. nice non-stop circle.

and what else we have here; aha a great friendship is forming unfortunately on lies, & hell you like this friendship, it’s something to you, it’s so great, you just live another day to smell the heavenly scent of this friendship; it’s beyond your imagination; (maybe jus on your side, but it’s ok ) it’s not like those foolish love stories,there’s always an end to a love story, either it’s a tragedy or it’s a happy endin’ they both suck in their own way. but if this friendship’s beyond the physical limits, it’s jus a matter of souls dissolvin’ in one another. it sounds great.

this is the friendship i was ….. i dunno how to explain it, given is jus a foolish word for it, but never mind it’s about 2 guilty creatures (each guilty of their own kind).

ok imagine me on one end of this foolish heavenly satanic connection, i’m tired of everything, it’s the new year comin’ & i don’ want another guilty feelin’ ok i put all my secrets in a small box, an ugly box jus like meself & i post it to the other end of connection; i spend a whole week wonderin what happened to my box, whatif it got lost in the so many boxes of santa, whatif somewone else’s recieved it by mistake, whatif the other guy on the other end of the rope hate me,…. all nightmares & what! it was a terrible time& luckily ended, a bit disgustin but not as bad as i imagined & me thinkin’ foolishly it was all over& we can have the good experience again. heavens i was far too wrong cos i’m an idiot. today i realized i was dammed wrong; nothing look the same; all we could have was a simple foolish earthy friendship, the souls were departed without givin’ me the chance to notice& hell i was wrong, fuckin’ wrong. i was foolishly lookin’ for the other end to talk to me the way it did, to soothe me& i was really demandin’ & so did the other side; it has all changed, jus playin’ evilishly with words, BUSY, i hate it; but that’s the truth no time or space for me anymore; i had ruined all the bridges behind me, no way to go no way to return. the worst was to come, what was the meanin’ of sayin’ “i will show your dirty ugly box to others, i wanna reveal your disgustin’ face.” either it was a joke or it was a threat, it was jus like an electric shock wakin’ me up to see my nightmare came true & again i was the one & only to blame.

i’m just fuckin’ tired of this endless mistakes; what’s wrong with just bein’ me; i know the answer; i’m just all wrong, i’m a sinner & that’s it. i cant explain what i feel about that so called great friendship i was once part of it cos i dunno what exactly i feel but all i wanna do is gettin my ol’ dirty secret box back & dump it at the bottom of hell & run away as far as i can.

better go wash my face now, i hate the taste of blood & tears mixed in my mouth.

PS I know i exagerated a bit; but guess you can forgive this idiot.



everything’s getting worst. i just keep fuckin’ round …. & thinkin’ of the next hour to get into my books.

why i cant keep up with my schedule i dunno.

i hate this year, why it’s jus the same as 2005, the only good thing about it, is the world cup that’s 4-5 months time.

the other good thing is i’m tired of bloggin’ of any kind. i’m tired of sendin’ mails. i’m tired of everything cyber.guess i’m gonna spend more time playin’.

my days pass like wind,wooooooooooooow, i dont like it cos every single minute i feel i’m wasted.

ok too much said, better go.

Glücklich neu Jahr
    Happy new year   
To those guys who are wondering what a hell’s written here.
Be sure it’s absolutely none of their business.
In case I wanted to let ‘em know what a hell’s goin’ round here. I’d  surely write in English.
Thanks in advance & according to my researches nosy guys go to HELL.
So keep yer nose outta my place.