Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: December 2006

 

Photo taken in Qikiqtarjuaq

Aurora Borealis:the celestial phenomenon of bands, curtains or streamers of coloured light that appear in the sky predominantly in the Arctic and Antarctic regions of the earth. In the Antarctic, the lights are called the Aurora Australis, or Southern Lights. They are visible, though less frequently, also outside those zones. I do not know how often the Northern Lights appear in northern Scotland but in the far north of this country, in Finnish Lapland, the number of auroral displays can be as high as 200 a year. In southern Finland the number is usually fewer than 20.

Folklore abounds with explanations of the origins of the spellbinding celestial lights. In Finnish they are called “revontulet”, which means “fox fires” a name derived from an ancient fable of the arctic fox starting fires fire or spraying up snow with its brush-like tail. No matter that in English “foxfire” is a luminescent glow emitted by certain types of fungi growing on rotten wood. The true story is that the sun is the father of the auroras.

The sun gives off high-energy charged particles (also called ions) that travel out into space at speeds of 300 to 1200 kilometres per second. A cloud of such particles is called a plasma. The stream of plasma coming from the sun is known as the solar wind. As the solar wind interacts with the edge of the earth’s magnetic field, some of the particles are trapped by it and they follow the lines of magnetic force down into the ionosphere, the section of the earth’s atmosphere that extends from about 60 to 600 kilometres above the earth’s surface. When the particles collide with the gases in the ionosphere they start to glow, producing the spectacle that we know as the auroras, northern and southern. The array of colours consists of red, green, blue and violet. 

The Northern Lights are constantly in motion because of the changing interaction between the solar wind and the earth’s magnetic field. The solar wind commonly generates up to 1000,000 megawatts of electricity in an auroral display and this can cause interference with power lines, radio and television broadcasts and satellite communications. By studying the auroras, scientists can learn more about the solar wind, how it affects the earth’s atmosphere and how the energy of the auroras might be exploited for useful purposes.

An important centre for this type of geophysical study is located in Sodankylä, a small community in the heart of Finnish Lapland, at latitude 67.4 degrees north. It is an excellent location for probing the secrets of the earth’s geomagnetic field. It was here that the Finnish Academy of Science and Letters established a geophysical observatory in 1913. Today, the Sodankylä Geophysical Observatory (SGO) is run by the University of Oulu. In addition to research the observatory performs routine geophysical measurements at its different stations. They produce ionospheric, geomagnetic and auroral data as well as seismic, cosmic ray data from Finland.

Advertisements

pretty old but still fun

What do they call Santa’s helpers?Subordinate Clauses

What do you call Santa Clause after he’s fallen into a fireplace?Krisp Kringle.

Who sings “Love Me Tender” and makes Christmas toys?Santa’s little Elvis.

Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?”Rude”olph.

Where do Santa’s reindeers like to stop for lunch?Deery Queen.

What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney? Santa Claus-trophbia.

The 4 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus. He looks like Santa Claus.

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish

What do you call a bunch of Grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? Ribbon hood.

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?Because he had low elf esteem.

To: All Concerned

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately,I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the Earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.

However, I’m certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:”These toys insured by Smith and Wesson.”

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefer that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn’t smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus’ sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin’ coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen’s head now overlooks Bubba’s fireplace.

4. You won’t hear “On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..” when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you’ll hear, “On Earnhardt, on Labonte, on Elliott
and Andretti.”

5. “Ho, Ho, Ho!” has been replaced by “Yee Haw!” And you also are likely to hear Bubba’s elves respond,”I her’d dat!”

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus’ sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words “Back Off.”

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as “Miracle on 34th Street” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you’ll see “Boss Hogg Saves Christmas” and “Smokey and the Bandit IV” featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn’t wear a belt. If I were you, I’d make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

so this is my last post before christmas, i may take a few days off the cyber world or i may post right after christmas, it all depends on what my christalball tells me, so Merry jesusmas and enjoy yourself, but dont get drunk!

*************************

“Different Picture”
The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.
After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story. Most of the pictures were predictable, but keith’s had an odd element in it.
“Keith, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?
“It’s the flea, teacher.”
“What flea?” asked the teacher.
To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse: “Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt. There’s Mary; there’s Jesus; and there’s the flea.”
********

Why do people kiss under the mistletoe? ever wondered?
The custom of kissing under the mistletoe originates in Norse(not nose) mythology. According to the Scandinavians, the handsome and gracious god Balder had a premonition about his murder. To prevent the death,Frigg, his mother, made every living thing promise not to kill her son. Her only omission was the insignificant mistletoe.
Loki, the evil god (but he was a good guy, i knew him), discovered Frigg’s oversight, and sought to exploit it. Appearing as an uninvited guest at a banquet in Valhalla, Loki watched as the other gods shot arrows at Balder for fun, marveling at how none of the arrows pierced the seemingly invulnerable god. Loki, always seeking to harm, also shot an arrow at Balder, but his arrow was made of mistletoe, so it killed him.
Though clearly innocent by modern standards, the other gods were angry at the mistletoe for killing their favorite god. As retribution, they allowed Frigg to do what she wanted to the plant. Rather than hurt it, Frigg, the goddess of love, decided to make the mistletoe a symbol of affection, asking that anyone standing under it be given a kiss of love and forgiveness.
(Source: THE STRAIGHT DOPE column by Cecil Adams)

there’s no reason to understand what they say
been hanging about with some non-native ( i mean non-English speakers) lately, i realized it’s hard for them to understand British English and American English at the same time. the fact they’re not aware of is that it’s the same for natives (or at least me) every time i meet a Briton or i get involved in a horrible conversation with these guys, i cant avoid using “pardon, sorry …..” every now and then cos there are many words that sound similar to my ears but i don’t know the meaning.
happychick has a brilliant point of view on this. she thinks it’s not wise to call American language as “American English” cos only people living in england speak English and as far as i’m not British i speak American, then people living in Canada speak Canadian, people living in Aussie land speak Australian blah blah blah……….
and I’m so glad i was born in the Yankee land cos i don’t call my mom “mummy” and my dad “dummy”………..
i need an Australian-American dictionary, can anyone get me one for Christmas?

there’s no reason to understand what they say
been hanging about with some non-native ( i mean non-English speakers) lately, i realized it’s hard for them to understand British English and American English at the same time. the fact they’re not aware of is that it’s the same for natives (or at least me) every time i meet a Briton or i get involved in a horrible conversation with these guys, i cant avoid using “pardon, sorry …..” every now and then cos there are many words that sound similar to my ears but i don’t know the meaning.
happychick has a brilliant point of view on this. she thinks it’s not wise to call American language as “American English” cos only people living in england speak English and as far as i’m not British i speak American, then people living in Canada speak Canadian, people living in Aussie land speak Australian blah blah blah……….
and I’m so glad i was born in the Yankee land cos i don’t call my mom “mummy” and my dad “dummy”………..
i need an Australian-American dictionary, can anyone get me one for Christmas?

“let’s have a quickie babe, then i let you go” said the snowman to his girlfriend.
so the snowgirl hopped on the hood and spread her snowy legs apart………….
*******************
word definition:
bipolar: characterized by the alternation of manic and depressive states
snowmen: plural form of snowman,a figure like a man that people, especially children, make out of snow for fun.
pervert (perve):a person whose sexual behaviour is not thought to be normal or acceptable by most people.
*********************
dream themes:Your dream body represents your dream ego and your conscious identity. To see a penis in your dream, signifies sexual energy, power and fertility. To see an exceptionally large penis, suggests doubts and anxieties about your sexual drive and libido.
To see apes in your dream may refer to you wild inner nature, particularly your sexual nature.
question: what if i dream of a big ape with a hung?
*********************
FIND SOMEONE WHO THINKS LIKE YOU (BETWEEN THE SHEETS)
TAKE OUR FREE S E X P L O R A T I O N (TM) T E S T to find your most intimately compatible partner.
COMMUNICATE FREE FOR 7 DAYS*:Thousands of new singles take the test every day. (WTF!)
********************
i have a terrible headache, i have a terrible feeling in my stomach and everything smell like shit. Dont puke on me again!
well gotta recharge my shaver and yes the nature’s calling me.
******************
hey it’s not that i dont wanna blog, or i dont know what i really wanna say; i jus dont know how to say it, do you have a dictionary? i have to look up the word “pee” in it………..
********************
do you have a headache now? take these asprins then, i have a headache too but these fucking pills jus dont work……….
………………………………….
…………………………………
……………………….
.
i’ve been thinking about it for some hours, for some days well i’ve been thinking about it for many years and i can play the “acceptance-denial” game as long as you like.
im quite used to all those weird feelings and so do my family, relatives and friends.
there are many times i doubt my own feelings, i cant put them in right boxes, “sad” miserable”bored”tired”happy”excited”real”…..
and then i realize people are labeling me with names i cant understand.
and i hate myself, this world, all the people around me, all the earthly pleasures………..
it’s quite unacceptable for many people to see me jumping up and down, rocking the place, joking , laughing….. then when the party’s over i get lost in depression jungles…..
what is love? does love necesarily lead to sex? why should a young guy avoid looking straight in stranger women’s eyes, never shake hands and step back when women get too close, yet he thinks of filing divorce cos his wife cant satisfy his sexual desires?
*******************
and my girlfriend’s mom said:” i wont let you marry her cos you jus want her for sex.”
and i married her cos i was sure her mom was wrong and then i couldnt get rid of the feeling of guilt when i flirted with another girl the other day cos SHE wasnt paying me any attention, cos she didnt want any close contact during the very first months of pregnancy……..
******************
and how stupid i am for confessing my stupidity to the world, it’s jus a cheap soap opera and well she knows everything NOW………
*******************
and you can find me on-line the time you suppose me to be in bed surfing the net looking desperately for someone to chat with…
and i can spend a day with a cup of coffee and a loaf of bread not at all feeling hungry………..
“A manic-depressive person in the depressive phase may be sad, despondent, listless, lacking in energy, unable to show interest in his surroundings or to enjoy himself, and may have a poor appetite and disturbed sleep.”
*************************************
the house was cleaned during the night and the tree was decked out within an hour, everything was ready sooner than expected……
and the blog template is changed with a happy one and quite many funny posts …………
….but i never try to make long sentences cos i dont have time thinkin about one thing, i have to switch to another topic immediately.
“The manic person talks loudly, rapidly, and continuously and progresses rapidly from one topic to another; is extremely enthusiastic, optimistic, and confident; is highly sociable and gregarious; gesticulates and moves about almost continuously; is easily irritated and easily distracted; and is prone to grandiose notions and shows an inflated sense of self-esteem. ”
*************************
“Manic-depressive(bipolar) disorders of varying severity affect about 1 percent of the general population and account for 10 to 15 percent of readmissions to mental institutions. Statistical studies have suggested a hereditary predisposition to the disorders, and this predisposition has now been linked to a defect on a dominant gene located on chromosome 11. In a physiological sense, it is believed that manic-depressive psychosis is caused by the faulty regulation of one or more naturally occurring amines at sites in the brain where the transmission of nerve impulses takes place; a deficiency of the amines results in depression, and an excess of them causes mania.”
and surely i know what the hell’s wrong with me, im doing fine when i take those fucking pills on regular basis and im aware it’s quite hard to live with such a guy, so…………
thanks to my lovely wife and her family and anothers who really wanna shoot me accidentally but they dont (or havent suceeded yet) thanks to puddlejumper (http://puddlejumper.wordpress.com/) for giving me the courage to write.
******************
im gonna haunt santa tonight, it’s so cold out there (all below zero *~*)

quote:Wife to husband: “This Christmas, let’s give
each other sensible gifts, like ties and fur coats.”
&&&&&&&&&

SCHIZOPHRENIA: “Do you hear what I hear?”
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: “We three
kings are all the same person!
DEMENTIA: “I think I’ll be home for Christmas.”
NARCISSISTIC: “Hark the herald angels sing about me.”
MANIC: “Deck the halls and walls and house and lawn
and streets and stores and office and town and cars
and buses and trucks and trees and fire hydrants and …”
PARANOID: “Santa Claus is coming to get me.”
PERSONALITY DISORDER: “You better watch out, I’m gonna cry, I’m gonna pout, maybe I’ll tell you why.”
DEPRESSION: “Silent night, holy night–all is hectic,
all is dark.”
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIV E: “Jingle bell, jingle bell,
jingle bell rock, jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock,
jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock, jingle bell, jingle
bell, jingle bell rock, ..”
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE: “On the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me… (and then took it all away.)”

Did you know… While both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year–according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game–male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid- December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should have known. Only women would be able to drag a fat ol’ man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

sorry, gotta restate Reindeer Facts :
Listen up. Alaska has no native reindeer, as they come from Asia and Europe. Although Alaska has some reindeer farms, they are privately owned and the Alaska Department of Fish and Game would have little to do with them.
Now, let’s assume Santa is a competent breeder of reindeer. Breeding season runs roughly from the middle of September to the middle of January and often is called simply “rut.” Breeding males in rut would not be used to pull a sleigh at Christmas for
three reasons needed for breeding season; not in prime health because of the rigors of chasing females; and not trustworthy during personality change caused by rut.
Similarly, breeding females would not be used to
pull a sleigh because they need to be in prime
health for breeding.

If Santa can’t use breeding males or breeding females
to pull his sleigh at Christmas, what’s left?

Ah, the true answer, verified by checking with my
reindeer farming neighbors and buddies, is …
steers [geldings]!

Reindeer steers have antlers at Christmas, do not
change personality significantly during rut, and are
not needed for breeding.

There you have it. Santa’s reindeer are males …
or at least they were.

think:Consider this!!! What if we woke up Christmas
morning and received everything we truly deserve?

dcsn2020703.JPG 

now the joke:Signs You’ve Chosen A ‘No Frills’ Airline”

They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.

All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold
out.

Before the flight, the passengers get together and
elect a pilot.

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact
change.

Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten
your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little
for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows
off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often his planes crash and he
says, “Just once.”

No movie. Don’t need one. Your life keeps flashing
before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let
off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

birthday-cake-6.jpg

so 13th of december passed and i’ve been busy with many things that forgot celebrating the first anniversary of creation of my beloved ranting place.

  • So happy  belated birthday to: my beloved little brother.i cant believe he’s 19 years old now, you’re a big young man that means “wake up keith, you’re getting pretty old!”
  • happy belated birthday to who ever born in december till now, it’s a holy month, not only because of jesusmas but because of me LOL
  • AND A BIG SPECIAL CONGRATULATION TO MYSELF FOR WRITING CRAP FOR A YEAR LONG, I CANT BELIEVE I LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO CELEBRATE THE FIRST BIRTHDAY OF MY WP BLOG, OK SO NEXT GOAL IS TO BLOG AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TILL I CAN CELEBRATE THE 2ND BIRTHDAY.

this is my “blog stats” for today but i dont think it was much different 4 days ago:

Blog Stats

Total Views: 11,400
Best Day Ever: 117
Views today: 26
Totals Posts: 366  (almost 1 per day) 😉
Comments: 931
Tags: 25
Spam:Akismet has protected your site from 4,282 spam comments. (and i swear they were more cos i have deleted many of them manually)

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search Views
Alaska’s biggest snowman 2
wise quotes 2
lighted snowman using fish bowl 1
snowmachines 2006 1
grandchildren are god’s reward for not k 1

Yesterday

Search Views
i just hope you realize how much i love 1
akutaq 1
hug a snowman / poem 1
blackfish charter fishing boat oncity is 1
kittens in bethel, ak 1

conclusion: if you look for anything like eskimo ice cream or some related words to alaska,you’re gonna end here. if you even search my name you will again end here (this is a shame, i really have no reason to pretend nobody knows here , so what’s the use of this alias? 😉 )

experiments show many people are interested in snowmen in this time of year so i have to write another post;)

ok. now let’s look in the crystalball (my ball only shows the past)

this was my first post:

journey to under world

it just started on a day like every other day; but to me it was somewhere else, i was somewhere i didnt belong to, somewhere so weird, so strange, so frightening, so disgusting like hell.

i’m breathing in a new air, it’s different, there’s nothing to breathe in, it’s empty, dirty, polluted as hell.

i need sleep, maybe, maybe not, i’m not a human anymore, i’m a ghost, elf, angel, zombie, i’m nothing, just like a little microscopic creature living in hell.

&&&&&&&

eeerrrr seems not much improvement in my writing, again another reason not to be ashamed of.

the time i started this blog i really had no idea where i was heading too, but i wasnt really desperate, i was trying to find a path to salvation and peace and thanks God i found it. yet i dunno to where im heading but at least im not alone anymore. i swear this time last year i couldnt imagine getting married, having kid(s) and living in north pole (even in my worst nightmares). i dont regret what i did and it’s the first time in my life that i dont have that shitty feeling of regret.

And there’s jus a week left for christmas, gotta confess we’re not prepared, the house looks like the dumps, no tree, no present and well no money 😦

but this is jus the best part. i spend most of today in hospital cos my lovely wife is(was) sick (diarrhea and vomiting) and alexis was sick too but not like her mom and me was like *~* ( i really looked like that)

lesson learned: my wife and daughter should never get sick all together or im gonna run away and leave ’em on their own 🙂

note: im the most responsible dad on this planet and the point is “everyone knows this fact, they jus dont know how to appreciate me” 😉

ok, enough said. i better go eat some soup cooked by myself. if i didnt blog again, blame the soup 🙂

footnote: thanks for tolerating me for a whole year, keep on visiting me cos i want someone to bite.

  • if you check this crap frequently and you have a blog of your own but cant see yourself on my blogroll, tell me now or you’re gonna die tomorrow!

so christmas is coming and this year i dont have to wait for the snow, it’s been snowing here for a while. actually today temperature dropped to zero so i dare to say fridge is a lot warmer than outside.

i havent bought anything for my wife, but i thought of a few good things, cant mention it here. you nosey little angel i wont let you know what you’re gonna have for christmas till the time comes so stop peeping here (sticking my tongue out!)

i dont have much time left, jus a week, no tree yet but gotta find one soon, may be i can make my own tree outta ice and im sure it wont be a bad idea.

let’s not talk about turkey cos we have invited ourselves to my in-laws place and so i dont have to worry for that big ugly bald hen. 🙂

Santa claus find his way to Hooper bay this tuesday, i wasnt much happy cos he refused to gimme a room in a 5star hotel in hawaii, so im not gonna miss him till next year but im gonna love all the gifts he gives me im gonna sell them and become millionaire 😉

i was thinking about christmas the other day and the so many new year resolution i have to made. but suddenly i realized i dont have any reason to celebrate jesus-mas, im not christian any more but well it’s a good holiday 🙂

so near year resolutions:

1. stop being an asshole(this is unpossible cos i had this on many previous NYR too)

2. stop bugging my wife (errr i try but cant promise)

3. teach many good words to alexis cos im sure this time next year she’s gonna talk non-stop

4. start reading my books, there are many of them and i dont have much time and i really wanna go back to university to finish my master’s

5. earn more bucks (this is a wish)

6. stop wasting so many hours in cyberspace, i have responsibilities to take care of.

7. go whale hunting, i reall love trying this next year but i gotta save some bucks cos i cant hunt any big fish in kuskokwim river

8. that’s all for now,im gonna think about the rest later and yes i wanna try to be a good dad & get outta this icy hell asap.

so christmas is coming and this year i dont have to wait for the snow, it’s been snowing here for a while. actually today temperature dropped to zero so i dare to say fridge is a lot warmer than outside.

i havent bought anything for my wife, but i thought of a few good things, cant mention it here. you nosey little angel i wont let you know what you’re gonna have for christmas till the time comes so stop peeping here (sticking my tongue out!)

i dont have much time left, jus a week, no tree yet but gotta find one soon, may be i can make my own tree outta ice and im sure it wont be a bad idea.

let’s not talk about turkey cos we have invited ourselves to my in-laws place and so i dont have to worry for that big ugly bald hen. 🙂

Santa claus find his way to Hooper bay this tuesday, i wasnt much happy cos he refused to gimme a room in a 5star hotel in hawaii, so im not gonna miss him till next year but im gonna love all the gifts he gives me im gonna sell them and become millionaire 😉

i was thinking about christmas the other day and the so many new year resolution i have to made. but suddenly i realized i dont have any reason to celebrate jesus-mas, im not christian any more but well it’s a good holiday 🙂

so near year resolutions:

1. stop being an asshole(this is unpossible cos i had this on many previous NYR too)

2. stop bugging my wife (errr i try but cant promise)

3. teach many good words to alexis cos im sure this time next year she’s gonna talk non-stop

4. start reading my books, there are many of them and i dont have much time and i really wanna go back to university to finish my master’s

5. earn more bucks (this is a wish)

6. stop wasting so many hours in cyberspace, i have responsibilities to take care of.

7. go whale hunting, i reall love trying this next year but i gotta save some bucks cos i cant hunt any big fish in kuskokwim river

8. that’s all for now,im gonna think about the rest later and yes i wanna try to be a good dad & get outta this icy hell asap.

Note: this was actually part of a mail written to a friend but never clicked the send button

It is 2.10 am, pretty cold and still raining, if it snow, everything gonna be better and warmer, shiitttt why this room’s so cold!

Back 2.15, I found another blanket. Alexis’ so sick, coughing and crying, I cant understand why babies get sick, they’re so innocent why their angels can protect ’em from these viruses and microbes, I feel so much like the book I read . “Does god exist?”

I’m so sick and tired of everything but well yes gotta be thankful, this time last year I was practically living in hell, hey yo Mr. Almighty living up there, thanks.

Fuck me I was supposed to write something better but again I’m circling in my own loops, wait, guess Alexis’ up again.

2.30, how funny and ridiculous this life is. I can’t really understand it, may be I need a translator.

you know meg says I swallow my sentences, another friend said I write broken English, like the kinda writings done by none natives, all short sentences that has no links to another, yes she’s right, I cant make sentences longer than a line or two and cant understand the reason, may be I cant find any string to stick my words together, shiitttt what am I talking about? What are you thinking about? prob’ly you’re thinking this guy’s either drunk or insane, honestly don’t know the answer, may be I’m drunk but cant remember when I opened a bottle, but no I cant be drunk, I don’t drink alcohol, may be it’s cos of the coffee I drank half an hour ago…….

I feel a lil dizzy, Alexis stopped crying for a while but obviously she cant sleep like her dad, she’s lying on the sofa and staring at  me, may be she needs some sleeping pills too, God my head’s heavy as if someone poured molten lead in it and now it’s solidified and I can feel the weight. It’s quite hard to keep my eyes open; it must be cos of the pill I took an hour ago, better I take Alexis back to her bed.

………….should I say I’m back? I tried to sleep but couldn’t so I opened the door and stared at the cloudy sky, there’s no moon here, there’s no God.

I can hear my last breath, last struggle to remain on the surface but something’s pulling me down, I could swim but …. Have I forgotten how to swim?

How do you feel now? You would have called 911 if you lived here and know my address, am I right? Yes I’m not ok.

Guess I look like a real paranoid or bipolar or someone really insane, no idea, call me whatever you like.

Lemme stop acting crazy and scroll through your mail……

I’m not stingy, no I’m not a penny-pincher, take all these ice, I have plenty of them, it’s everywhere; on the roof, in the yard; on the streets, but I don’t have any cream, no I don’t have any cream…….. Gotta wake Meg up, I need to talk to her.

********************

Tic tack-tic tack- tic tack, 3.40 I’m still awake now I’m sure these sleeping pills don’t work, they smell like a rotten body……

I’m all thinking about this time last year, what a hell I was doing this time last year, yes I know what a hell I was doing, for the first and last time I met my angel, I always thought my angel was a girl but I was wrong, my she-angel could never pull me outta the shit I was in, she’s pulled me outta dirt many times, she’s wept for many hours till her tears healed all my wounds but she wasn’t strong enough to wash my whole soul and I hated her for being so innocent, for having such a white clean soul for smelling like a rose and not the stinky smell of sewage.

3.50, what the hell’s wrong with this clock? Move your fucking ass faster, I wanna see day light again, now I’m sure there’s no tomorrow, I can’t see sun again and it’s all dark and dark and dark.

fuck you man for jumping into my life again, showing me a light then disappeared, if only we’d never met, if only you didn’t exist, if only you’ve forgotten my birthday. You gave me a big electric shock with your dammed book. I know you don’t read here and I’m sure you jus called cos probably you saw something in your dream, how dare you’ve called my wife? You have no right to interfere, have I asked for your help? Where the hell you were hiding the so many times I called your cell phone? Why you enjoy jumping in the middle of my life when I don’t want you there?

and I hate you, and I hate the night we met and I still cant figure out how your God choose me as your victim and I’m sure I can never understand your God for not letting me die the many times I wanted it. What’s the reason of my creation? To fuck my life and many others or jus saying stupid jokes to bring a nano-second smile on other’s faces.

you put me in a stapler and told me to wait so I waited and waited and waited till someone pressed it hard and I cried, I cried your name and you didn’t answer then someone else pressed the stapler, this time I shut my fucking mouth and stared, stared at your eyes and your hands, you came without me calling, you tried to help me outta there but suddenly someone pressed the stapler and I called your name loud so you loosened my hand and I shouted why, and other press and I begged for your help but you turned your back and left. so I closed my eyes and I was in another place with many people I didn’t know, so many new faces and places, so I listened but couldn’t understand a word, then you came and took me to another place, so many unfamiliar faces again and there it was, a big golden cube, so I stared and stared and stared cos that place was so familiar, I looked around but you were lost in the crowd and I was left on my own but I wasn’t frightened, I didn’t feel lost, I closed my eyes and smelled, I could smell heaven, I could smell your world.

***************************

I returned to my stapler again, this time I took my she-angel as well, your God healed her but sent another angel to protect her, it’s small but she’s gonna grow up fast and protect my she-angel, protect her mom.

the life in the stapler was better than I could imagine so step by step I began building my home there but I forgot to lock hide the stapler in somewhere safe so someone found it again, no I showed it to someone and again that one pressed the stapler, this time I didn’t call anyone, I started beating my she-angel, she cried and cried and cried and tried to heal the wounds on my body, but her tears wasn’t enough cos I was biting her with my teeth and she was bleeding.

the stapler was left on its own again but I could still feel the pressure, my she-angel still crying and I healed but she was wounded and my soul was dirty again cos her blood turned to shit as it touched my soul. I could smell my soul decaying and the smell was intolerable. Could still feel the pressure but no one was pressing the stapler, then you came, again without being invited and you smiled, “call Mr. Almighty” I didn’t, I stared at your eyes and got lost. So you whispered something in my ears, I didn’t hear but then I called, I called my creator and everything in the stapler is in peace again.

************************

Wish my Farsi was good enough so I could translate the whole book cos it was so great but well I cant. At least I can thank my dear friend who saved me from eternal hell and again in jumped in my life to save me from myself. I thank him for all the light he brought to my life, wish I could be as innocent as he is, wish I could talk to wind and listen to the birds prayer but my soul’s too dirty, but at least he reminded me that there’s a God who loves me and he’s sent me angels not to hurt but to protect. and I apologize my she-angel for my endless stupidity and I pray to God to give her enough strength to help me outta my own shit.

I’m sure my dearest friend never has the time to read this crap but I wanna thank him for being my angel, helping me wash my soul, and again reminding me of the path to heaven. thank alireza for all the beautiful things he taught me, thanks for taking me to that holy shrine where I could smell God, I couldn’t see but I could feel him, and indeed God exists and I pray he forgives my endless sins and never leave me on my own.

im reading this book, jus take lotta time but im gonna finish it soon

s2020611.JPG

316566170_cb01e214b0.jpg 

im lyin on the bed upside down and thinking.

jus think the world was upside down and we had to walk on our hands, it wouldnt be that bad, jus give it a try whenever yo feel bored

A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and
is met by his servant at the station. This is the
conversation that they have on their way to his home.

“So, has anything happened while I’ve been away?”

“No, sir, I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.”

“Come now, I’ve been away for weeks. Surely something
must have happened in all that time.”

“Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died.”

“My *dog* died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in
years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How
did he die?”

“The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten
meat.”

“The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat
lying around for the dog to eat?”

“Well, it was the horses, sir. They’d been rotting for
some time after the barn burned down.”

“Good heavens. How in the world did the barn burn
down?”

“It must have been some embers that blew over from
the house, sir.”

“The *house*? The house burnt down, too? How did
the house burn down?”

“Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over
a candle.”

“Oh. … Wait a moment – we don’t use candles anymore
to light the house! What were the candles doing there?”

“They were there for the wake, sir.”

“The wake?!? Whose wake?”

“Your mother’s, sir. She passed away quite suddenly.”

“Oh my Lord. Mother is dead. The house is gone, along
with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother
die of?”

“It must have been the shock, sir.”

“The shock?”

“Yes, sir, the shock. When your wife ran off with the
handyman the day after you left, sir. But aside from all
that, it’s been fairly quiet while you’ve been away, sir.”

untitled.JPG

this is the recipe for Barbecued Porgy (blackfish, black sea bass etc.)

Use fish between 1 ½ and 2 ½ pounds. Scale the fish (except for blackfish); you may leave the head on but remove the gills if you do. Remove the dorsal, pectoral and anal fins.

Salt, pepper, olive oil and minced garlic (4 tsp). Minced garlic mixed in olive oil for 1 hour may be substituted for the separate components; use the decanted, flavored olive oil.

Score the fish’s skin with 4 to 5 diagonal, superficial slices. Rub the fish with olive oil then salt and pepper as desired. Sprinkle on minced garlic if you did not use the garlic-olive oil mix. Wire brush the grill and brush it with olive oil. Use a gentle fire if using briquettes or the top grill, with low heat, if using a gas grill. Cook gently for 20 to 30 minutes; until the meat separates readily from the bone. Do not cook on a hot flame and do not over cook the fish.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live
without you.”– Winnie the Pooh
everything indicates that we’re gonna have some ice here and there again but no snow. Ok it’s 10F, that’s pretty good news cos it’s been so warm i thought it was Hawaii. let’s pray for the snow cos i wanna make another snowman.
%%%%%
santa’s doing fine, wrapping all those stupid gifts you asked, he’s gonna hand ’em himself (as usual) cos he never trusted US mail service 🙂
but you better stop writing to me instead of santa, i dont talk to him cos he gave me nothing for my b’day, stingy ol’ man. uggghhh
%%%%
i named last Friday as bloody Friday, nope it was jus a fine Friday, kinda great. i was waken up sometime after midnight by a cold liquid running down my nose, fuck it, my nose was bleeding for no logical reason, i had to run to the bathroom, finished in a few seconds, it jus wanted to wake me, Meg and Alexis up ( i tried not to wake anyone but a little spark can wake Alexis up cos she’s uber-sensitive). I’m sure it was Meg pickin into my nose, who else did it?
+++++
later at work i cut my finger with a tiny polishing stuff, a little superficial wound, fuck it, this one bled for several minutes till i moved my lazy ass to find a band-aid.
++++
later in the evening we had a basketball game against some other village, a friendly one, it was really friendly that they shot me instead of the ball, i enjoyed the backache all saturday not goin to work (yippee). it was a good game, we lost by 16 points (66-82), i was better than expected (by myself of course) jus scoring 7 points, well nobody wanted me to score, im jus a good runner and considerin the fact that im a little shorter than 5′ 10″, not really made for this game, so i had to block their fastest player, thanks God it worked or we’d lost by more than 30 points, they were fucking big (compare with me-not even 140lb) and fast.
conclusion: i’d better climb up trees, rocks…. than palying with that orange and white ball.
*****
i wanted to show you my b’day cake, it didnt burn but a bit raw 🙂 but so yummy. BUT cant upload it, dunno why. may be later….
………..
the moon’s shining and im out again, looking for a lost guy, not to bite but to help.
giving him a shelter, i can eat him tomorrow …..
;;;;;;;;
life looks better than this time last week, thanks God for so many blessings. but if you add more passion and love things gonna look better, dont yo think so?
PS: what happened to Chelsea vs Arsenal match? anybody watched the game?

me.JPG

  • 1pm,7th December 1980, L.A., Ca.

a cold snowy day, a cry of baby and smile of a crowd.

7pm,7th  December 2006, Bethel,Ak.

a cold day, a little snow here and there, a cry of baby, a weeping dad.

congratulation to my parents for introducing one of the craziest creatures of this world, yeah it’s me. happy birthday keith. 🙂

let’s blow the candles! one two three……………..

mother fucker whydya turn the lights off?

26 years passed since the time i stepped on this planet, woaaahh so long, it sounds ages to me. i wished my life was over by my 25th birthday, nothing happened, so im still polluting the air, burning fuel, eating food and destroying this planet. i’ve brought smile on many faces and made lotta people cry. i’ve cried for the people i loved and lost and i’ve smiles meeting new people-to brighten up my life some how-.

now im here, starting another year, to be honest the previous year was one of the best years of my life. im still hopeful, i wanna see better years.

so lemme blow the fake candles, lemme smile one moretime and pretend nothing happened. i still have many days to see, yet i have to be ready to leave any moment.

so better live as if there’s jus a minute left and enjoy moments as if there’s no tomorrow.

life sucks but not always. some times terrible things happen but may be it’s jus for a lesson we should learn. i believe even in the saddest moment of our lives, there’s a little tiny thing we can smile at.(stupid me forgot this important fact).

so today’s a new start, a new time to born, let’s explore this world with babies’ eyes.  let’s smile to sorrow so it fades away.

well there’s no party this year, but a little cake for me, meg and alexis is more than enough.

so let’s shake these chains off, i wanna be wild and free, i wanna smile with the little angel God gave me, i wanna share my dreams with my sweet-heart one more time. nothing happened, not here, not to me, do you remember me saying anything? 😉

  • birthday joke:Kid Bits

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
“I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother.
“I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”

  • word of the day:” don’t use word to describe your situations but use word to change your situation”
  • note: the attached pic is obviously me but i was too lazy to scan them so i jus used my cellphone, you cant see much for sure, but i was really cute, wasnt i?(to younger ones: yes i am that old that we didnt have a digital camera to take pics 😉 )
  • caution: big thanks and a big hug and a big sexy kiss (performed by the polar bear) to all my great friends who called, smsed,vmsed,mailed,commented….. and reminded me of my birthday, thanks 🙂

ok gotta go or my birthday cake will be burnt.

birthday-gift.jpg

i dunno how i feel or how i should feel and i dont wanna write about what’s goin on in the place i live cos of personal securities (jus realized im not as anonymous as i thought).

jus a general update:

  1. some of our friends and my in-laws decided to keep alexis away from her wonderful parents for a week cos none of us was good enough to take care of her, wtf!
  2. we have a one week ultimatum to decide what we really wanna do.  so we better be quick.
  3. i have talked, listened and cried more than you can imagine, im fed up!
  4. nothing more to say, gotta talk for another 6 days, i need the energy!

footnotes:

  •  i dont think i wanna update here till we get to some serious decisions.
  • this coming thursday’s my birthday, who cares but well happy birthday keith, wish you weren’t born!
  • the attached pic is meg’s gift to me, it was supposed to be my surprise but i found ’em last week. fyi: those are cacti, yes i know where i live but i love them a lot!
  • thanks for tolerating an ignoranus* like moi 🙂

*:for the meaning check sandra’s blog! (http://jcoftw.wordpress.com/2006/12/04/annual-neologism-contest/)

playground.jpg 

all my life i thought love is the most important thing in a marriage, if you have love , you have everything.

conclusion: im wrong again. it’s so funny that one day you wake up realizing there’s something big missing in your life, in your heart.

i thought i was happy, may be i was, may be not, i dunno anymore. but i know one thing, i love meg and she loves me( a lot) and it’s annoying how we’re running away from each other, when ever im home she’s not and whenever she wanna come home earlier, i find a reason to go out; it’s jus a bed we share and well a baby.

im selfish, im mean, im crazy but if the divorce thing got final, i wanna have alexis and i try my best to have her and i dont fucking care what’s best for her.

alas why i sound so much like a shit, i knew this birthday could never be any better than last year, it was fake, jus a mirage of one happy family.

meg i hope you read this, i really dont wanna put an end to this promise we made together, sharing happiness and sadness, didnt we swear? we have a lot to share.

ok i made mistake, im silly, im shit, im useless, but let’s give each other another chance. i dont want this life without you, alexis and the one coming soon, she wanna have a happy family, she has the right to have it, right?

please dont leamme alone in the playground, i cant play on my own.

i pray to lord we can find a U-turn cos i dont really want my dream land be destroyed, vanished this easily.

God where did i take the wrong turn? i cant believe im on top of the cliff again

it’s simple, there’s an end to every fairy tale and not all end in “lived happily ever after”

stop-playing.jpg

been surfing through net, downloading forms and reading a lot of “how to do”.

wish i could find a way out, but seems at least i could find some good links,this and this