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Category Archives: personal

i’ve been lagging dynamically, mentally, physically and statically, im so lame!

this pullover he gave mefor my birthday is way too warm, im boiling from

inside.

then i’ve been checking some old blogger friednss and holy shit, i missed

a lot.

what else? i’ve been planning christmas since hhhm tomorrow, i will think

of  it later, ok? AND HAVEN’T DONE THE SHOPPING YET.

i have added a new word to my vocab, sister-in-law, gawd it’s such a …

let’s not say what cos i know he may read here and he will kill me for bitching about his sis, im looking forward to not to meet her cos i prefer gay christmas to anything else, let’s pray her

plane gets a flat tyre.

he had made me a wishlist , i decided to ignore but this act of his had a very bad

impression on the little girl, she wanted to have her own wishlist , thanks hell she forgot but if she got herself one, i will post it  to her silly  &^*%$#W#$^$% mom and her bf will sue me with hate crime 😀

back to the sister-in law, i have made my mind to call her before landing to this unfortunate

bean city and tell her i will be having a gay orgy for christmas, likes it  or not and i know she wont like it. and i don’t care.

whatelse? i want a big christmas surprise, something very romantic but my

beloved partner doesnt have “romantic ideas” so i thought i may higher a

temporary woman lover for the romantic part, but that’s so lame.

again back to the sister-in-law, oh she is not yet the sister in law , yippe!

and i was thinking of joining my granny on the plane and go home, sorta missing relatives i guess but i doubt they ever

missed me . they may like my baby though.

there are hell of things to think about, for now it’s bed time, i wantd to sleep on the sofa cos he’s sick and may wake me up with his coughs but as long as i’m sneezing myself with a runny nose, i think we make a good couple for tonight.

now i go to bed but i’ll be happy with an invitation for christmas, if ever

wanted  a cool couple with a little cute girl you can count on me but i cant promise your place looks thesamewhen we leave (she’s more like a monkey than a human!)

i think it’s bed time and i have to go towork tomorrow, urrggghh

good night

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it was 10 pm when i saved the last document and turned my putter off. Another long working day was over and i had to drive around 30 miles back home on those icy roads. I threw whatever belonged to me in my back pack , changed my clothes, turned the lights off, locked the door, waved mr gaurd goodbye , got into my car, set theengine working, pressed the gas pedal and started my way back home thinking of tomorrow that i had to wake up before 6 and drive all the way back.
it was so cld and actually it was snowing again; i pulled my car over the shoulder and stopped. i closed my eyes for a few minutes to get rid of the physical exhaustion then opened the glove compartment tolook for my cell phone, it was a bit dark inside the car but my fingers were trained to look for things thereso they didn’t any light for that.
there it was , i had a few missed calls from W & BF, i could guess why they have called, i was later than usual and probably that worried them.
then i checked some e-mails as if i was home, relaxing and having a cup of hot coffee.
i kept on checking till i got to something interesting, “yeah, i’m gonna love this guy for tonight”
TBC…..

i found it really hard to write in third person so let it be me and him!
Me & him met each other in different chat-rooms for a while and slowly slowly we tried to know each other, after a year or so we started voice-chatting and by the end of the second year we used webcams to communicate and sometimes called each other when bored but we were never too close
After 2.5 years knowing each other Me broke up with my girl friend, trying to experience new things, by the end of the 3rd year he told me what he did for the living and we shared a few personal things suggesting it was time to meet.

holdinghands.jpg
but then i changed my way 270 degrees and went on my 2.5 months journey to hell to discover the rights and wrongs!
later on Me moved to the state he lived and got married though i visited his city several times we never had the chance to meet till some time early this year me had to attend in a meeting and we planned to get together at last and Me ended in his place staying for a night and heading home the next morning.
though he was a heavy drinker and smoker we got together better than we expected.
some unexpected things happened later that me, BG & W stayed with him for a while and he was a great support.
I accepted his unusual kindness as something given from a friend but apparently BF wanted us to be more than friends.
Me invited him for W’s birthday party but later changed my mind and asked him not to come. not listening to me at all he turned up uninvited.
that night we ended fucking each other’s brains out.
Later i couldn’t get rid of the feeling of guilt cos i some how cheated on W. it took Me a while to figure things out and starting a new chapter in my shitty life.
So Me & W after much of arguments and fights got to the point that it was something that must be given the chance to be tried, the last decision was to move to BF’s place and share everything with him.
As soon as i managed to get rid of the feeling of guilt and tried to understand the RM, i experienced a new love, something i never felt my whole life. it looked so intense so pure and so fresh that took me a while to undestand the difference between that and what was between Me & W.
now i know that things look much better and brighter when four of us are together, he’s part of the family now and it’s like he’s been there for a long time we can hardly remember how we lived without him. it may look selfish but W loves BF in her own way and BG is too small to understand anything like this.
So i started this blog to analyze my feelings!

part I.

on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…..

Sorry, wrong day! oooppppsss it wasn’t actually day, it was a rainy-snowy evening.

RM was walking (read running) up & down a street some where sometime on this planet, waiting for his E-pal to pick him up for the first time.

But he was late and RM was changing into a solid ice cube gradually….