Skip navigation

Category Archives: joy

mine was very true 😀

1. ARIES – The Liar

(the Ram – 21 March – 19 April)

* Outgoing.

* Lovable.

* Spontaneous.

* Not one to mess with.

* Funny.

* EXCELLENT kisser.

* EXTREMELY adorable.

* Loves relationships.

* Addictive.

* Loud.

2. TAURUS – The funny one

(the Bull – 20 April – 20 May)

* Aggressive.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Likes to give a good fight for what they want.

* Extremely outgoing.

* Loves to help people in times of need.

* GOOD kisser.

* GOOD personality.

* Stubborn but a caring person.

* One of a kind.

* Not one to mess with.

* Usually are the most attractive people.

3. GEMINI – Irresistible

(the Twins – 21 May – 21 June)

* Nice.

* Love is one of a kind.

* Great listener.

* Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.

* Trustworthy.

* Always happy.

* Loud.

* Talkative.

* Extremely random and proud of it.

* Outgoing.

* VERY Forgiving.

* Loves to make friends.

* Has a beautiful smile.

* Generous.

* Strong.

* The Irresistible one.

4. CANCER – The Cutie

(the Crab – 22 June – 22 July)

* Most AMAZING kisser…Very high appeal.

* Love is one of a kind.

* Very romantic.

* Most caring person you will ever meet!

* Very creative.

* Outgoing.

* Freak.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Spontaneous.

* Great at telling stories.

* Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.

* Someone you should hold on to.

5. LEO – The Lion

(the Lion – 23 July – 22 August)

* Great talker.

* Attractive and passionate.

* Laid back.

* Knows how to have fun.

* Is really good at almost anything.

* GREAT kisser.

* Unpredictable.

* Outgoing.

*Down to earth.

* Addictive.

* Attractive.

* Loud.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Talkative.

* Not one to mess with.

* Rare to find.

* Good when found.

6. VIRGO – The One that Waits

(the Virgin – 23 August – 22 September)

* Dominant in relationships.

* Someone loves them right now.

* Always wants the last word.

* Caring.

* Smart.

* Loud.

* Loyal.

* Easy to talk to.

* Everything you ever wanted.

* Easy to please.

* The one and only.

7. LIBRA – The Sexy one

(the Balance aka the scales – 23 September – 23 October)

* Nice to everyone they meet.

* THE BEST in bed

* Their Love is one of a kind.

* Fragile

* Silly, fun,funny and sweet.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Have own unique appeal.

* Most caring person you will ever meet!

* However not the kind of person you want to mess with… You might end up crying.

8. SCORPIO – The Addicted Oversexed Power Freak

(the Scorpion – 24 October – 21 November)

* EXTREMELY adorable.

*Psychotic When fucked around with

*Great in bed

* Intelligent.

* Loves to joke.

* Very good sense of humor.

* Energetic.

* GOOD kisser.

* Always get what they want.

* Attractive.

* Easy going.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Talkative.

* Romantic.

* Caring.

9. SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One

(the Archer – 22 November – 21 December)

* Spontaneous.

* High appeal.

* Rare to find.

* Great when found.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* So much love to give.

* Not one to mess with.

* Very attractive.

* Very romantic.

* Nice to everyone they meet.

* Their Love is one of a kind.

* Silly, fun and sweet.

* Have their own unique appeal.

* Most caring person you will ever meet!

* Not the kind of person you wanna mess with because you might end up crying.

10. CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover

(the Goat – 22 December – 19 January)

* Love to bust.

* Nice.

* Sassy.

* Intelligent.

* Sexy.

* Irresistible.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Great talker.

* Always gets what he or she wants.

* Cool.

* Extremely fun.

* Loves to joke.

* Smart.

11. AQUARIUS – Does It In The Water

(the Water Bearer – 20 January – 18 February)

* Trustworthy.

* Attractive.

* GREAT kisser.

* One of a kind.

* Loves being in long-term relationships.

* Extremely energetic.

* Unpredictable.

* Will exceed your expectations.

* Not a Fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.

12. PISCES – The Partner for Life

(the Fish – 19 February – 20 March)

* Caring and kind.

* Smart.

* Center of attention.

* High appeal.

* Has the last word.

* Good to find, hard to keep.

* Fun to be around.

* Extremely weird but in a good way.

* Good Sense of Humor!!!

* Thoughtful.

* Always gets what he or she wants.

* Loves to joke.

* Very popular.

* Silly, fun and sweet

Advertisements

oh my dearest you have no fucking idea how much i missed you all those endless long endless day-like nights, staring at empty pages, or even the blue thing on top of other people’s writing cans all saying to me, sorta even deceiving me to write!

officially i haven’t blogged since 12th of last month, technically i haven’t written any crap for a whole month and by now i’m dammed sure my psychiatrist is so proud of me.

i can’t say it was a good time but it was fine. and i really have no idea to whom i’m talking too. Alllooooo any muthafucka out there?

if you wanna become an expert, you need helluva practice. and i can’t even write a logical thing (let’s pretend i could write some time ago)

so as for the start or kinda end to something review the last 6-8 weeks!

1. broke up with my ex (fucking bastard, it was obvious he wasn’t my kind)

2. changed my psychiatrist and as a result went through all the shit with new meds and dosage!

3. the baby girl turned to be Ms. talkative with lots of crazy questions, just giving me headaches and making me wish i was deaf!

4. i gave up the idea of spending so many nights surfing the net and instead i started to read some books!

5. some fucking bastard stole my laptop and a few other things, just forcing me to choose between a brand new laptop in the next 3 years or a digi-cam for the coming 3-4 months.

6. last not least apparently and to some extent obviously i found my mr. right and Gawd he’s so sexy and lovable. i’m not gonna give any details cos you may kidnap him. all i can say is that he’s so much better than all the guys i’ve dated to date!

what else?

aha, as long as i’m back and i’ve made my mind to keep on blogging and writing crap for a while i thought this blog needed a new look and beside the new theme (that i have it on my other blog and love it so much!) i needed a header so  without further ado, i bring to you the extinct species living in north pole aka me (i know you were dying to see my face!)

i know i look really ugly and remind you of your great great great grand father but i can promise you to have a plastic surgery asap (i’m saving for it, may be you can help me a bit!)

ok, that was enough for today. i’m gonna change the header soon, i’m just looking for something better!

*. another me & boy friend story!

He rested his hand on my chest and took a deep breath.

 “I feel a bit sore and tired, wanna go on?” he asked. I grabbed his head and pulled him close enough to whisper something in his ears. ” do you wanna come with us or not?”

he licked my cheek gently then said:” surely you have no right to leamme here, on my own.”

I loosened my fingers and let him adjust his body to a better position as I leaned on my elbows and pushed myself to the other end of the bed to have a better view of my lover.

he looked like a naughty boy ready to play with; I took a good long stare at him and admired his muscular body with my fingers running up and down his hand.

” how long you wanna tease?” he asked.

“you know I enjoy exhaustin’ and playin’ with my prey before eatin’ him.” I licked my lips.

he grabbed his very hard cock in his hand and stroked it several times, I leaned forward to touch his beautiful cock too shouting:” no jerk off, that’s mine, all mine”

he smiled wickedly, rising on his knees and pushing me away.

“you wanna tease, ok, you’re gonna be teased till you beg me stop.”

 All I could do was running on my hands and knees trying to get outta bed but he was fast enough to catch me by my foot and pull me back on the bed, I tried to escape but he put all his weight on my body and stuck me to the bed.

he started biting  the back of  my neck, his hands holding my wrist and giving me no chance to move.

I shouted:” J you’re hurting me bitch”

 he loosened his hands a bit so I could change my very unstable position.

“so what should I do with my disobedient lover” he asked.

 “do as you like but move your fucking knee away from my back, you’re breaking it!”

he pushed his knee against my back harder, I tried to throw him to the other side of the bed but he was holding me really firm. “it hurts, yeah?” he asked.

 “I’m gonna fuck you to death as soon as I get outta your hell.” I yelled.

“you’re a bluffer, you can’t do anything at the moment.” he said and pushed me harder against the bed, it was hard to breathe.

” babe, lemme go, I beg you, I’m sorry, damn yo, you’re breaking my bones.” I cried.

“what’s today?”  he asked.

 ” I dunno, it’s another fucking Saturday, J lemme go, please.”  the pain was getting worse.

” and you still remember our bet?”  he was really enjoying himself.

” bitch, yeah, ok do as you like but my dead body won’t do you much for pleasure.” I couldn’t go on tolerating more pain.

 “ok, good boy!” he said this and moved to the other side of the bed. both of us covered in sweat, I turned to the other side so I could look into his eyes.

We stayed still for several minutes before I moved my arms round his waist and pulled him closer.

“you were killing me”  I kissed him on the cheek.

“But you’re still alive.”  embracing each other, I licked his lips.  he tasted good, I like his taste, his tender kisses but  I couldn’t stay like that for long.

I kissed him lustfully, he kissed me back. I put a hand on his ass cheek.

 shivering a little, he said: “shiiittt, your hand’s so cold”

he bent toward the floor to find the blanket.

 we moved under the blanket, I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder, I could hear his breath, he could hear mine. his fingers caressed my back.

” I love you baby.” I whispered.

“so do I, asshole” he whispered back.

we remained in each others arms for a while, I enjoyed rubbing my body against his. my hands were pretty warm by then and all I wanted was to sleep in his arm, I was so tired to think of anything else.

 But the other head was really  busy and hard. I rubbed my hand against his smooth skin till at last I found his hand  jerking his hard dick slowly, I put my hand on his hand, then held it tight and  brought it to my mouth, licking every finger.

 now my hand was resting on his hard cock. I moved a bit upward so I could see his face. I squeezed his balls a little, then put both hands on his shoulders and turned him to his back  then raised my body a bit, putting my leg on his other side and then he was between my legs. I pressed my chin against his chest, then put my weight on my elbows as I rubbed my dick against his groin, he closed his eyes.

 I began to rub my hard cock against his fully erect cock, he put his hands on my hips and pushed me closer, I pushed back. He let out a loud moan as I kissed his lips.

I increased my pace and he moaned louder as  I rubbed my balls against his and it felt so good.

I buried my face in his pillow as he parted my ass cheeks, I was dying to feel his fingers inside, I wanted him to fill my painful butt hole.

 Out of the blue the door banged open.” whacha you boys doin’ here?”  my wife asked.

J pushed me off his body trying to sit.

“com’on outta bedroom, I wanna change my clothes & I think you were supposed to pack your luggage by now.” she said merrily.

 “When did you come? We didn’t hear you!” I said. me & J were sitting by each other’s side and holding the blanket tight to hide our naked bodies.

Meg came to me and kissed me gently trying to pull the blanket.

“Nooooo” I shouted. “Give us 10 more minutes”

 “& you think that’s gonna be enough for you” she winked at J.

“at least we can try” I replied.

“nope, I give you a minute to get outta bed and go” she turned her back to us as if our only minute was started.

” fuck you, at least go outta the room so we can get dressed” I demanded.

 ” errr, you’ve been very bad boys and you gotta pack right now so you have no time to fuck me” then she stuck her tongue out at me  and made a bee line for the door.

 As she left, I turned to J, touching his cock under the blanket, he was as hard as me. ” do you think we have enough time?” I asked stroking his cock.

Meg knocked on the door:” I’m comiiiinnnnnggggg boys”

 ” No” J shouted, jumping outta  bed, we got dressed as quickly as we could.

 

*.originally copy-pasted from my thunder bird inbox(without editing) that means it wasn’t written for blogspace but my friends.

surely some of you already read this, i apologize but i’m too busy to add anything besides i hardly see Alexis awake so i dunno what new words she added to her dictionary. this life sucks but i have to tolerate a few more weeks and the contract is over & surely we go back to our little city with more time to spare with Alexis.
_________________________________________________
1.baby Alexis and tablecloths
once upon a time there lived a very naughty baby girl aka Alexis.
she had a fetish about tablecloths, dreaming of them most nights, she even tried to say its name but well it’s a hard word for a beginner like her.
one day Alexis with mom+ dad went to a super expensive and luxurious restaurant with candles on the tables and romantic music playing. Alexis got ecstatic and began running and screaming making everyone look at them and her parents felt really embarrassed so her dad began chasing this little girl to stop her, she ran and ran and ran till she lost her balance and “ooohhh, no, she was falling” **
to avoid hitting the floor she got hold of her old fetish, and not to mention the very expensive articles on the table and the burning candle and the elderly couple sitting there and enjoying their meal.
so her poor dad had to make a quick decision, he had to grab her in time so she couldn’t pull the tablecloth………………
thanks heaven nothing happened only a few drops of soup dirtied that old lady’s pricey dress and the candle fell but luckily grabbed by the old man. poor dad sighed in pleasure and tried to release the part of tablecloth still remaining in Alexis’ firm fist. as soon as he succeeded Alexis burst in tears and the unlucky dad had to mug for her making a real ass of himself.
so after apologizing umpteenth time from that elderly rich couple and making sure they weren’t offended but became very fond of the little bandit they made a bee line for the exit door without having anything and thinking of a sandwich or two for the night!***
the end
ok bye honey, write me soon

**. Alexis raises a real hell when she falls, we usually ignore her so she gets up and begins running again but the screams and little cries are intolerable for strangers (such attention seeker she is!)
***. this really happened a while ago but J was with us and actually he suggested going to that place & paying for everything, honestly we don’t have the money for such places!
________________________________
2. Alexis VS. Cactus
i love my cacti a lot so i take them anywhere i move (try to imagine how horrible it was to move my cacti by plane!)
some days ago, i put my cacti on the table and went to kitchen to find a glass for watering them. this table is low enough that Alexis can take anything from that.
so came naughty curious Alex and there was this one with cute spines. it’s so natural to touch such things and then ouch, one of the spines got stuck in her little finger, me & Meg spent a while picking that spine outta her finger, then tied it with a little clothe to stop her from crying. it was just a little spine but she liked showing her finger to everyone then to answer the question “what happened to your finger?” she said proudly “tus”* and pointing at my cacti on the window edge.
so this is a new word, since then we call my cacti, “tus” and Alexis gets excited. she’s wonderful, ain’t she?
_________________________________________________________
3. “Tus” continued
i think we’re gonna have serious problems with the word “tus”, like the other day we were in the mall shopping and i pointed to a big toy moose
it was like “look there Lexis, that’s a big moose and he’s gonna eat yo”
Alexis at first looked a bit frightened then confused then got excited hitting the window and saying moose, then came the word bad (that she pronounces really well)
she hit the window too much till her little hand felt the pain at last, showing me her finger she said “tus”
i was like *~* all i could do was kissing her little fingers to heal the pain (it works very well for little kids) and started pointing at something else.

you know she’s great but well sometimes she drives you crazy you wanna either hang her or shoot yourself!
____________________________________________
4. those who have/ had their own kids around Alexis’ age know very well that these creatures are so awesome that you can write a thick book about what they do and say but nor me neither her mom have such time to write everything; and many times the incident sounds more annoying than funny.
if only this little creature had a manual life looked much better.
so wish me luck and stay sane!

*.this is based on a real conversation though a few parts are changed to make it funny (hope it worked!)
this morning when i opened my eyes it was hell dark outside as usual, after a long battle with myself deciding whether to get up and go to bathroom or stay another 5 minutes in bed and tolerate the pressure in my full bladder; at last i managed to get outta bed, tiptoed to the bathroom and back to the bed feeling proud of myself that i didn’t wake anyone for the first time,but then i realized i was alone on the bed, not only the bed, the room was empty too. so i opened the door and made a bee line to the kitchen where i heard noises.
moi: hey, whacha hell doing here?
meg (stirring the ingredients of something in her pot): cooking!
the word found its way to my brain through my ear and i spent a while analyzing everything, the fact is that getting meg outta bed before 7.30 is almost unpossible so i shouted :” what’s the time?” cos i was pretty sure it was passed 9 and meg forgot to wake me up for work.
calmly came her reply:” 5.40″
moi:”huh?!”
meg;”5.41 now”
moi:”aha”
i found a chair and sat on it looking round the room. there Alexis was sitting silently on her chair waiting for something boiling in the pot. i wondered: “that must be breakfast”
the next 10 minutes was spent in utter silence.
moi: “why’re yo up so early”
meg:” cos i couldn’t sleep ‘n Alexis was cryin, she looks feverish , so i got up to make her some soup(she pronounced it in a way that the fever was so obvious and there was something very wrong with me that couldn’t see how sick she was *~*)
moi: hhhmmm
meg: she didn’t wake yo up?
moi: eerrrr noooooo
meg:good, ok now feed her soup and don’t let her splash it on the floor, i need a shower.
moi: ok (still sitting on the chair)
meg: Keith, wake up,
moi: i’m up jus can’t keep my eyes open.
i’m having one of those “can’t stay awake” episodes that happens 3-4 times a month so it’s quite unpossible to see me awake before 10 am.( i can sleep with open eyes at work, that’s a guess)
so meg went and me & Alexis were left alone on the stage. like many other parents we talk to our little baby to help her talk asap.
me:” ok my baby girl open your mouth, the plane’s coming” and i shook the spoon full of soup infronna her.
**. i can’t understand why it should be a plane, i tried it with train, bus, car, boat, fly,mosquito …. only the plane works, i’m sure she knows how much i hate flights.
10 minutes later, me still waving the spoon in the air and she insisting on keeping her mouth shut.
so i gave up and went back to my chair, i need a little more sleep.
before taking a step away from her chair i heard splashing sounds, “oh my heavens, no Alex, for God’s sake, your mom gonna hang me with her towel.” i had to act quick so grabbed hold of the plate and put it on the table, 1,2&3……..Alexis started crying and tears ran down her little cheeks in a flash of light made me wonder how she can burst into tears so fast.
then another cry from the other side of the house.
her mom:” Keith, fetch me clothes.”
moi: fuck you, go get it yourself (well this was in my mind); in a minute.
so i left the crying Alexis to help her mom, she was outta bathroom in a few minutes and i had to wipe the stains off the floor before she saw.
as fast as i could, i cleaned Alexis’ mess and then back to where we left the play, i should made her eat 2-3 spoonful of soup before her mom came.
moi (on my knees begging): for heaven’s sake open your mouth.
…… still shut
moi: look at this beautiful plane, it needs to land
nothing happened
moi: com’on baby, open your mouth, the pilot needs to pee.
hhhmmm still shut, she’s as stubborn as her dad.
moi (close to tears) : for the sake of your dad, please open your fucking mouth
Alexis: no
moi: please
Alexis: noooo
moi: jus once, or i’d cry
Alexis (louder): nooooooooooo
meg: whatcha doing?
moi: trying to make her eat her soup, i tried my best, she jus doesn’t want to open her fcukin mouth open.
meg: how many times should i tell you not to use f-words infronna her.
moi: ok *~*
meg: tell her to eat one more time.
moi: OOOKKKK. look baby eat this and that’s it, EAT IT!
Alexis: NOOOOO
meg(shouting): she talked, holly christ, she talked, she said “no”.
me; huh?! she’s been saying that for a while.
in a second meg was performing Yupik dance and i jus couldn’t understand.
So our little baby girl said her first word and we spent the next hour trying to figure out what other words she knows.
this is Alexis’ vocabulary
Ma -m+a(this is not an “a” it’s something between A and E): mom
No: no
Daa (like “a” in arm): it can be anything
da (a in “cat”): this is the answer of “what is” this after pointing at many random things and in the end to the poor dad.
if you ask her “who is he?” she doesn’t reply but the answer to “what is this?” pointing to me is “da”
and it’s a lot different from “Daa” 🙄
so we’re busy next days and weeks making her pronounce different things, and surely my name would be the last, but well if she calls me “da” and don’t call other things “Daa” i feel ok.
***. this one was one of the best experiences in my life, the joy was nothing that could be bought with billion bucks, does any one knows how long does it take a baby learn to make sentences.
****. apparently Alexis started talking a few days ago cos my friend told me she can say “no” but i thought he was pulling my leg.
conclusion: days are flying by fast, i better think of Alexis’ university soon.
and yes it feels great to be a dad, i like being myself 🙂

me.JPG

  • 1pm,7th December 1980, L.A., Ca.

a cold snowy day, a cry of baby and smile of a crowd.

7pm,7th  December 2006, Bethel,Ak.

a cold day, a little snow here and there, a cry of baby, a weeping dad.

congratulation to my parents for introducing one of the craziest creatures of this world, yeah it’s me. happy birthday keith. 🙂

let’s blow the candles! one two three……………..

mother fucker whydya turn the lights off?

26 years passed since the time i stepped on this planet, woaaahh so long, it sounds ages to me. i wished my life was over by my 25th birthday, nothing happened, so im still polluting the air, burning fuel, eating food and destroying this planet. i’ve brought smile on many faces and made lotta people cry. i’ve cried for the people i loved and lost and i’ve smiles meeting new people-to brighten up my life some how-.

now im here, starting another year, to be honest the previous year was one of the best years of my life. im still hopeful, i wanna see better years.

so lemme blow the fake candles, lemme smile one moretime and pretend nothing happened. i still have many days to see, yet i have to be ready to leave any moment.

so better live as if there’s jus a minute left and enjoy moments as if there’s no tomorrow.

life sucks but not always. some times terrible things happen but may be it’s jus for a lesson we should learn. i believe even in the saddest moment of our lives, there’s a little tiny thing we can smile at.(stupid me forgot this important fact).

so today’s a new start, a new time to born, let’s explore this world with babies’ eyes.  let’s smile to sorrow so it fades away.

well there’s no party this year, but a little cake for me, meg and alexis is more than enough.

so let’s shake these chains off, i wanna be wild and free, i wanna smile with the little angel God gave me, i wanna share my dreams with my sweet-heart one more time. nothing happened, not here, not to me, do you remember me saying anything? 😉

  • birthday joke:Kid Bits

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
“I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother.
“I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”

  • word of the day:” don’t use word to describe your situations but use word to change your situation”
  • note: the attached pic is obviously me but i was too lazy to scan them so i jus used my cellphone, you cant see much for sure, but i was really cute, wasnt i?(to younger ones: yes i am that old that we didnt have a digital camera to take pics 😉 )
  • caution: big thanks and a big hug and a big sexy kiss (performed by the polar bear) to all my great friends who called, smsed,vmsed,mailed,commented….. and reminded me of my birthday, thanks 🙂

ok gotta go or my birthday cake will be burnt.

yeah yesterday was friday 13th

i sent all my hexes to you so please put your hand on yer nose and stop breathing

thanks so much

1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

3. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

4. How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

5. What do fish say when they hit a concrete
wall?
Dam!

6. What do Eskimos get from sitting on
he ice too long?
Polaroids.

7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t
work?
A stick.

8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

9. What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

10. What do you call four bullfighters in
quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

11. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
12. What do you get when you cross a
snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What lies at the bottom of the ocean
and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

14. What’s the difference between roast
beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

15. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

26. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

17. Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.

18. What kind of coffee was served on the
titanic?
Sanka.

19. What is the difference between a Harley
and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag.

20. Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their
hat.

21. What’s the difference between a bad
golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: Whack, Dang! A bad skydiver
goes: Dang! Whack.

22. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee
divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.

image008.jpg
the other day i was thinking about the real identities of my favorite bloggers, surely i dunno them but those who know me can recognize my crap in a second, jus like my cousin. i still wonder how she found here. now it’s wife & cousin, god knows how many other relatives know about here. hope my in-laws never find here cos of the many times i bitched about them (read im gonna bitch…..).
so who’s keith?! well im sure many people know, you jus need to receive my comment once or read the “about” page. yep it’s me. do i like that name?! i dunno, it’s jus fine.
so are you sure you wanna live a day with keith? i can assure you it’s not much interesting.
omg, why am i so sleepy?

my excitement’s over now & i jus realized what a big shit i did last sunday. it was so like hellboy. i jus fucked up. God …….(some omitted verb) my cousin, now i feel like killing her, should she really had to say such things?!?!
aha i was supposed to write about one of my days, which day you wanna hear about?
wont it sounds like happychick if i talk about my friends?!!!!
let’s talk about monday, it was 7th of august, today’s august 8th so what’s the difference?! no idea.
honestly i dunno what am i writing about, i forgot to take my pills this morning.
yesterday i was so happy, feeling like a million bucks ;now reviewing all the news for the umpteenth times, i jus understand the depth of my misery.
let’s talk about monday again. i went to hospital with meg cos my knee hurt like hell (it still does). for some reason that’s hell private, my wife decided to be nice to me for a short while, so she shared her secret. as far as i know husband/wife is someone we hide our secrets from .i was so excited hearing her little secret that i was happy for almost 1.5 days (you saw the happiness, right?!)
the news is………………………………..
really wanna know?????????
&&&&&
you gotta wait……
%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%
%%%%
%%
%
are you ready?!
close your eyes & make a wish.
!
@
$
did it?! sure?
******
****
***
**
*
you’re gonna be dead in a day or two, yohahahahahah! now count till 1546525643641

done?!?!

scroll down?!

ok are you dying to know?!?!?

not yet?!
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13, 13th is alex’s birthday, am i prepared?! nahhh
lemme continue
14
15
……
bored?!
ooooookkkkk
here’s the news……
&&(^&&^#$$(*&^%$&$%
got it?!
why are you looking at me like that?!?!
hey, what’s in your hand?!?!
omg put that rifle down……….
ouccchhhh
you missed.
ok the news is…. we’re gonna have another baby in 8 months time,
omg omg aint that too great……
im jus feeliong so so so so so so so so so outta this world
&%%%%%********************#### $$$$$$$
fainted…………
i need a while to recover! 😉

“No! Much more better. It is a *drawing* of a key.” Jack sparrow

image009.jpg
while talking to wife the other day, i reallized whenever i use “we” i mean “i” but when ever she uses “we” she means “you” so i thought someone had to translate what men are really saying. :-p
“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand,while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“Let’s take your car.”
Really means….
“Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.”
“I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”
Really means….
“As long as it’s not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means….
“Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really means….
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response like Pavlov’s dog drooling.
“Good idea.”
Really means….
“It’ll never work. And I’ll spend the rest of the day gloating.”
“Have you lost weight?”
Really means….
“I’ve just spent our last $300 on a cordless drill.”
“I’m getting more exercise lately.”
Really means….
“The batteries in the remote are dead.”
“We’re going to be late.”
Really means….
“Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac, even though I don’t need one.”
“Hey, I’ve read all the classics.”
Really means….
“I’ve been subscribing to Playboy since 1972.”
“You cook just like my mother used to.”
Really means….
“She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too.”
“I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind.”
Really means….
“I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.”
“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
Really means….
“I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“That’s interesting, dear.”
Really means….
“Are you still talking?”
“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.”
Really means….
“I forgot our anniversary again.”
“You expect too much of me.”
Really means….
“You want me to stay awake.”
Now that i’ve explained men, is it really that hard to understand moi?
note: those guys who think they have nothing to do this weekend, they better go watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest  ; it’s quite boring but funny enough to waste 150 minutes for it.
caution: dont take your little babies, they really dont like the movie & wont let you enjoy it much. (personal experience)
Plot Outline: Jack owes an unpaid debt to Davy Jones and his army of sea-phantoms…his soul. Now, he must find a way to save himself from becoming one of them, and suffering forever.

on the dark side of my room
there’s a little hole
i never dared to look in there
cos im sure it belongs to a whore

on the dark side of my mind
there’s a big village
angels, demons of any kind
live there fighting every time

on the dark side of my heart
there’s a rotton smelly part
i keep it for rainy days
to hate yo when love goes away!

yiiihhhaaaawwww i updated my blog at last, i did miss it but didnt have time for it.
i spent a while drawing & this stupid puter didnt saved it, again i did it, it closed without saving, at last i hit it in the head so like a good bitchy puter it saved, omg, the first one looked a lot better.
to see my mastershit, click here, but before clicking never dare to laugh at me or i haunt your soul tonight!2500.jpg

she's not yet arrived & i doubt she'd come.

i swear i didnt send any hex, curse or whatever evil thing to her, she's jus sick, so let's be home-alone together!

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed
with only the left hand and "lollipop" with
your right.   (Bet you tried this out mentally,
didn't you?)

Maine is the only state whose name is just
one syllable.  {I'll bet you're going to check
this out.}

No word in the English language rhymes
with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that
ends in the letters "mt". {Are you doubting
this?}

Our eyes are always the same size from
birth, but our nose and ears never stop
growing.  {Too bad…}

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps
over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the
alphabet. {Now, you KNOW you're going
to try this out for accuracy, right?}

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are
the same whether they are read left to right
or right to left (palindromes). {Yep, I knew
you were going to "do" this one.}

There are only four words in the English
language which end in "dous": tremendous,
horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
{You're not doubting this, are you?}

There are two words in the English language
that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious"
and "facetious." {Yes, admit it, you are going
to say …… a e i o u}

my dear sister send me this cos she thought it'd make me feel better & indeed it worked,(thank Rinnie) i wanted to send it back to her but thought may be it can help others as well, too cliche' i know. but it's fun to read it one more time, the parts in parenthesis are added by moi! 🙂

If u loved her

  • Leave her cute text messages. (she'd curse or make fun of me when got home!)
  • Kiss her in front of your friends.(then others would think we have serious problems or live in neverland)
  • Trust her over everyone else.(that means deceiving myself)
  • Tell her she looks beautiful.(though sometimes she is, still it's a lie; specially when it takes 1 hour to get ready)
  • Look her in the eye when you talk to her.(that make me nervous & angry & sometimes i cant help myself not to laugh even if im fucking serious)
  • Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh. (that's the only thing i do, talking crap)
  • Let her mess with your hair.(it's messy all the time, i dont have a comb, no need for help her to make me look worst)
  • Mess with HER hair.( i dont like moving my fingers through some one's hair specially when it's greasy)
  • Just walk around with her.(not in a million years, i only walk with the girl, well she hangs from moi!)
  • Include her in most things you do.(that's horrible, btw i asked her to join some online games, she refused!)
  • When she cries do whatever to make her smile.(im not a clown, btw when she cries it means im outta my mind again aka not taking my pills HiX3)
  • Forgive her for her mistakes.(i do if she does the same)
  • Look at her like she's the only girl you see.(unpossible, i jus enjoy looking at the girl, her mom makes me puke)
  • Tickle her even if she says stop.(she's gonna tickle me back & hell i hate it)
  • Hold her hand even when you are around your friends.(that's foolish, im not gonna lose her, she'd be home for sleep)
  • When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.(another big lie, how can i love her when she acts like shit?!)
  • Let her fall asleep in your arms.(jesus,then why i paid for such a big bed ?!)
  • Get her mad, then kiss her.(i make her mad every second but no kissing cos im not a kissing machine d'ahhhh)
  • Tease her and let her tease you back.(are we nuts?!)
  • Stay up with her all night when she's sick.(it's her job, not mine!)
  • Watch her favorite movie.(i try not to let her get control over remote control, it's my last sign of manhood!)
  • Kiss her forehead (nope , she doesnt like it)
  • Give her the world.(i can give her a word, world's way too big for her!)
  • WRiTE HER LETTERS.(im not a typing machine!)
  • Let her wear your clothes.(she wears my clothes?! there must be something really wrong with yer mind!)
  • When she's sad, hang out with her.(no way, that makes me feel blue too; btw the reason she's sad is me so i better get outta her sight!)
  • Let her know she is important.( why should i do something unreal?)
  • Let her take all the photos of you whenever she wants. (we dont like people in our photoes)
  • Kiss her in the rain.(we jus have snow so im not gonna kiss her, it's so wet)
  • And when you fall in love with her, tell her. ( i once thought that way & told her , then we got married &my nightmare came true *~*)
  • And when you do tell her.. Love her like you never loved before. ( i dont remember if i ever loved her!)
  • you know it's not really like this :)d

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ fools. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later, the same Irishman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman. The Texan says “Yes,” and he asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?” The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

stolen from my mailbox! 

1) I can only please one person per day.
Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not
looking good either.

2) I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing
sound as they go flying by.

3)  Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you
how to get along without it.

4)  Accept that some days you are the pigeon
and some days the statue.

5)  Never under-estimate the power of stupid
people in large groups.

6)  I don't have an attitude problem. You just
have a perception problem.

7)  Last night I lay in bed looking up to the stars
in the sky and I thought to myself, where the
heck is the ceiling?

8) My reality check bounced.

9)  On the keyboard of life, always keep one
finger on the escape key.

10)  I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

11)You are slower than a herd of turtles
stampeding through peanut butter.

12)  Everybody is someone else's weirdo.

13)  Needing someone is like needing a
parachute. If they aren't there the first time,
chances are you won't be needing them
again.

14)  Never argue with an idiot, they'll just
bring you down to their level and beat you
with experience.

a nice sleep can heal anything, i mean it. no stomachache, it's all gone. well of course i took some pills!

moral of the story: never drink milk with too much fruits or……

 

thanks the girl for not waking us up after midnight. i told her several times it's a very bad habit to disturb others while they are asleep, seems at last she understood. (did she?! i doubt 🙂 )

ok this is for today, gotta go to work.

"Inspection"

An American journalist was stopped at a Russian Checkpoint in the bullet-pocked suburb of Chechnya. The Russian soldier said, "Get out of the car and open the trunk!" The American replied, "I'm sorry, but the hand brake on the car is broken. I can't take my foot off the brake or it'll roll back down the hill." So the Russian says, "Do you take me for a FOOL?!" as he slides into the passenger seat, and stamps his big boot onto the brake pedal. "Now, go and open the trunk!" So the journalist reluctantly complies with the soldier's request and goes and opens the trunk of the car. "Now", shouts the Russian from inside the car, "Is there any contraband in there?"

"i feel like…" is the very first thing that comes to my mind ever morning (well of course after the bathroom process)

i think of a word & then that makes my day. this is the list of suggested words & their consequences:

1. Shit: it's a great feeling, your day's highlighted by different kinda shit, like bird shit on yer recently washed 4-wheel to boss shit who makes you work extra hours without paying extra money.

2. being lucky: well this is when there's something really wrong when you wake up, like colliding with a moving object aka sb's slippers or hitting yer head against the wall; this feeling gives you nothing except imaginary happiness.

3. feeling tired: this is after a hard working day without much sleep; you wanna stay in bed & sleep forever, well you better get up or there are some living creatures who are ready to break yer neck & let you lie there forever.

4. feeling blue: on this day all yo see is blue, blue sky, blue boss, blue milk, blue snow, blue sun…..

5. studying: this is so rare, apparently this means that there's something really wrong with yer brain. better go to doctor.

6. being happy: what?! wanna be happy?! oh no that's not on the list. if you feel happy then all those unfortunate events gonna happen.

7. enough, havent i said enough crap?! today i feel like being shitty tired, so better go to bed & read some books!

quote of the day: im not silly, well not as silly as you are. but im proud to say im a real jerkass.

question of the day: what's the difference between being "silly" & being "stupid"

i like the way my brain contorl my body. it's been a few days i was thinking about fixin my bike, obviously i didnt go further & keep it as a wish. but my brain thought i've gone cycling,as a result i feel so tired, and there's this terrible pain in my knee as if i have pedalled a long distance.

next time im gonan think of climbing Everest & see what happens, may be i die of frostbite 🙂

nobody knows the exact look of bookworms; they vary in size, color & physical properties.

the only fact that everyone admits on is that they are not worms, unbelievable, aint it?!

as there was no chance to find a real bookworm, i couldnt conduct any survey or experiment. so i used an artificial bookworm (aka bookform) for personal intentions.

all i can say is that this creature has hands & legs & eyes & ears on each side.

they even have nose & mouth but apparently they dunno the accurate use of 'em.

bookworms are tolerant of any climate & physical conditions. rain, thunder, wind ,storm, snow, darkness, frost, fog…. cant stop them.

in an imaginary project these facts were extracted:

1. they dont read books but they eat

2. the accepted rate of eating is 1 page per minute

3. the consumed amount of paper is 55 page per hour (5 minutes for changin position)

4. they wont move from their hiding places even if you nuke 'em.

5. meals are burnt in an area of 0.4 square miles surrounding them

6. they dont have the right to sleep more than 3-4 hours till they finish eating their books.

conclusion: though these strange creatures-by-mistake might look innocent & harmless they have the potintial destructive powers so be aware of 'em.

weekend notes:

1. in my humble opinion "the davinci code" worth wastin 9-10 hours reading. it has lotta symbols & exotic signs & when you finish it you symbolically has the feeling of being hit by a dog shit. in other words you're fucked in the neck with metaphysical powers.

2. i entreat you to read that book if you have the intention of watching the movie.

3. im no friend of author & nobody gave me anything.

4. it's 32 days after that bloody wednesday(aka wedding day), apparently the peace star's shining again so it might end to weekend blogging which was banned for 4 weeks

5. Hope my soul's blessed cos a dreadful week's waitin for me

6. see you next week, it's tea time!

DSCN4337.jpg

gone to a friend's place this weekend to watch birds cos they live near river & there're quite many trees round their place.

we spent quite a while watching a male bird ( well i dunno the name cos im not birdologist!).

he was there picking seeds & waiting. at last a she bird arrived, he was so happy that he started jumping up & down. then it was my job to help him, so i opened the window & shout:"yooohoooo"

obviously they flew away!

meg: ya nuts?!

me: doubt it?!

meg: why you did that, we waited quite a while to see those birds

me: i saved his life. it was obvious the she bird poisoned him & they feel in love.

meg *~*

note the name of those birds is "pine grosbeak:(Pinicola enucleator)

food-eggplant1.jpg

1. what is eggplant?

experiments show it's a kinda alien that long time ago collided with the atmosphere & the high temeperature froze it to a stone like material

2. what's the use?

personally i dont have any related experiment done on this matter, but rumor circulating northern part of earth indicates the possibility of being edible

3. how to make it?

in distant soil ,people go to grocery stores, choose a weird animal called aubergine & then pay for it. but with my new discovery there's no need to call aubergine, eggplant or vice versa.

firstly, open the fridge & choose one of the biggest available eggs.

secondly find a flowerpot, (if you dont have any, ask yer other plants to leave their pot for a while & come back when the eggplant is big enough to be picked!) then dig a hole.

thirdly place the egg in the hole then mulch it.

note: it's wiser to boil the egg for 10 minutes.

finally add some dark purple oil paint to the soil & water the egg.

it'd take quite a while to ripe. let the egg bulk out fully. adding some vitamins & spices can be helpful.

after 10 days you can pick yer eggplant & fry it. it's ready to eat. have a nice meal!

note: you better call emergency before swallowing the first bite.

 

PS i want some eggplant!

PPS the weekend was awsome, i jus laid on bed & slept, gee i lied i was busy with the laundry & ironin'.

 

once upon time there lived a fairy tale boy, who didnt have a fairy story tale!

so he decided to make his own story, to be told over & over again for ages & children love him & adults praise him.

so here is his story: once upon a april, there was a beautiful princess walking in a icy road, let's call her snow white! then our lil hero came on the stage, burning lotta gas in his extra large Chevyokes (it's a brand new car) engine- gimme fule gimme fire gimme that which i desire,ooopps sorry somebody turn that player off!- hhhmmm where was i?! aha, Fuel is pumping engines
Burning hard, loose, and clean And on I burn Churning my direction Quench my thirst with gasoline, splashing white cold pieces of ice aka snow onto the road & outta the blue to our beautiful princess!

what happened next?! hhhmmm wellthe lovely princess cursed the moving thing & suddenly one of the auto's tire explode. so our hero jumped outta his moving creature & change the tire, thankful to Lord he had his spare tire! & decided to use sled next time!

end of fairy tail!

conclusion: though nothing's healthier than changing yer flat tire in open cold air, i have a terrible backache.

suggestions: dont use cars, dont get flat tires, dont live in northpole, leave yer car & walk home, who gave yo the right to drive, yo idiot!?!

Main Entry: honeymoon
Function: noun
Etymology: from the idea that the first month of marriage is the sweetest
Date: 1546
1 : a period of harmony immediately following marriage
2 : a period of unusual harmony especially following the establishment of a new relationship
3 : a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple
–honeymoon intransitive verb
–honeymooner noun
i havent written about myself in here, surely it doesnt mean that i dont write about my life at all, i made here for my thoughts not my personal life but as long as this part of my life’s really twisted with my thoughts there’s a little need of knowing me.
first about the entry, looked up the meaning of honeymoon in order to use it correctly & not to leave some misunderstandings. 😆 to me the third meaning is more appropriate.

ok let’s get back to the purpose of this post.
act one, scene one: the clock strikes 9 times anouncing it should be dinner time, though mr sun’s still out & doesnt wanna go to his bed .
me lying on bed upside down waving my legs in air, listening to “did my time” by KoRn, trying to get to the last level of Pirate poppers.
??: hey hellboy (put my name here), let’s have our last dinner, im really hungry.
me: no way, i had too much for lunch, dont wanna have anything, go on yer own.
?? angrily: yo mean it
me: yep, move on, i wanna be on my own
??: sure?
me: yes honey
??:%$&%^(%&$#*%^%$$# (some very romantic words that cant be written!)

scene two:1.5 hours later:
?? is back to the room, im almost done with pirate poppers ( i really enjoyed this game)
??: hey move yer %*(^&@%&^%@$$ i wanna sleep.
me: shitttttttttt, jus 10 more minutes, k?
??: ok jus 10 minutes
me continue playing,
??: where’s yer cell phone
me: under the bed
?? : omg, yo’re dammed lazy
me nodding (it’s obvious i cant deny!)
?? begins talking, 5, 10, 15 minutes, still talking, moi still playing, suddenly her tone changes
me stop playing & jump to grab the phone
bang crash#*^)^*U$&^(^&#@$@!^&^%(&^#@
10 minutes later, lights off.
??: did yo really have to jump on me like a roaring polar bear
me: yey, yo know we’re in north pole & im a polar bear
??: hey we didnt see any bear here yet
me: im gonna get one for you tomorrow before returning, ok?
??: i jus wanna see one not to have one.
me: no you’re not gonna have it, im gonna ask it to eat yo…..
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
*******************
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
accidentally i fell down the bed.

scene three 15 minutes later……
me: still awake?
??: yeah, yo’re turning & twistin too much & dont lemme sleep.
me: ahaaaa
pause
me: are we really on honeymoon?
??: seems so.
me thinking a bit: should i write “married” when filling infronna “marital status” from now on?
a little pillow fight begins.

i really have no idea why i look so disgusting, i know i lost my mind somewhere in hell but i cant find that place.
i dunno why my body dont wanna act wise & in a good manner.
omg, im losing wait again, i killed myself with chocolates & cookies for a month then i lost 3 fcukin’ pounds in a week! i have no idea what else to do, every taste make me sick, every smell make me puke & im 11lb underweight & if i go on this way, i’d vanish in a year!
any idea to stop this phenomenon!
and i’m a black rainbow and i’m an ape of god
i got a face that’s made for doing violence upon

seems i missed a few days blogging; actually it was weekend & you cant expect much at these times, nothing really special for this weekend. lemme think……
arsenal lost the match against man utd. i cant say anything jus fcuk ’em all.
i hadnt finished my reports yet & that means lota analyzing, typing, discussion & all those foolish stuff you see in a good essay. omg! 😦
i have the greatest time of my life & spent more than a day in bathroom busy with puking & the runs…..; i really cant get it. why all those idiot viruses attack me every now & then, i’d been sick for 2 weeks & i felt a little better when i got something new. is it really fair?!?!
aha i know it, these viruses are the same as computer viruses & worms; cos they cant get to my puter easily (im always ready for ’em) they get into my body.
gotta write about infectious disease of humans and wild animals (aka puters). im sure it’d be the best & most complete book of it’s own kind (well surely it’d be just one that’s written by me) & they’re gonna gimme the nobel prize for saving million lives from so many unknown diseases.
note: i really want a nobel prize & i dont care about the field cos they dont give anything in materials; they always put ’em in physics or chemistry or whatever; hey you guys ,there is no other major as important as materials eng. why cant you see it?!
foot note: i cant see the importance either!
& the last part is just a paragraph to praise my so many skills; at last i moved my lazy ass & get myself a pair of sneakers; yippeeee; dont be envious; im not gonna share it with anyone & well it’s jus too white, it’s be black in a few days & within 2 weeks you doubt the color & the matter i used it for jus 2 weeks. dont applause, i know im that lazy 😆
see you in hell; gotta do my homework 😉