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Category Archives: baby girl

i’ve been lagging dynamically, mentally, physically and statically, im so lame!

this pullover he gave mefor my birthday is way too warm, im boiling from

inside.

then i’ve been checking some old blogger friednss and holy shit, i missed

a lot.

what else? i’ve been planning christmas since hhhm tomorrow, i will think

of  it later, ok? AND HAVEN’T DONE THE SHOPPING YET.

i have added a new word to my vocab, sister-in-law, gawd it’s such a …

let’s not say what cos i know he may read here and he will kill me for bitching about his sis, im looking forward to not to meet her cos i prefer gay christmas to anything else, let’s pray her

plane gets a flat tyre.

he had made me a wishlist , i decided to ignore but this act of his had a very bad

impression on the little girl, she wanted to have her own wishlist , thanks hell she forgot but if she got herself one, i will post it  to her silly  &^*%$#W#$^$% mom and her bf will sue me with hate crime 😀

back to the sister-in law, i have made my mind to call her before landing to this unfortunate

bean city and tell her i will be having a gay orgy for christmas, likes it  or not and i know she wont like it. and i don’t care.

whatelse? i want a big christmas surprise, something very romantic but my

beloved partner doesnt have “romantic ideas” so i thought i may higher a

temporary woman lover for the romantic part, but that’s so lame.

again back to the sister-in-law, oh she is not yet the sister in law , yippe!

and i was thinking of joining my granny on the plane and go home, sorta missing relatives i guess but i doubt they ever

missed me . they may like my baby though.

there are hell of things to think about, for now it’s bed time, i wantd to sleep on the sofa cos he’s sick and may wake me up with his coughs but as long as i’m sneezing myself with a runny nose, i think we make a good couple for tonight.

now i go to bed but i’ll be happy with an invitation for christmas, if ever

wanted  a cool couple with a little cute girl you can count on me but i cant promise your place looks thesamewhen we leave (she’s more like a monkey than a human!)

i think it’s bed time and i have to go towork tomorrow, urrggghh

good night

honestly i’ve missed bolgging here, or blogging this way.

i was up to some very xxx-rated writings that you shouldnt read even with your parents by your side and their hands in their pants.

i missed my old friends, the traffic is great but with all the cum, hard cocks and wet pussies when reading your blog, you will feel disappointed.

and well i think i wanna start blogging this way again so i need a few updates or more than few 😀

when was the last time i blogged here?!!!! aha i remembered so here’s some updates of my kind:

1. i’m back to my beloved city of Boston, right now it’s 28F and rainy but i say it’s a lot better than alaska

2. my little alex is 2 years and 3months old, talkative, naughty and a big headache, adorable i say.

3. i’m not married anymore or i am till my divorce is final. haven’t met my ex for a week or so. and i dont care

4. i bought my own place at last, it’s not big and well it’s not so so great but it’s mine so i like it a lot.

5. alex lives with me having her own bedroom and her own friends and well her own rules, she’s the boss of the house.

6.the last 6 months was really hard for me, lots of downs and a little ups. i was so depressed i couldnt work for a while so i got sacked but well not things are

ok and i have my new job, i dont earn much but i can pay the bills at lease 😀

7. i’m not meeting any woman and i dont have any boyfriend but at least i made my mind and jumpped outta closet completely.

8. being gay is one thing and being your real self is another thing, i’m glad at last i made my mind and accepted the very natural thing about myself.

9. right now i live with my baby girl and partner. honestly it wasnt love at first fright but i was madly in love with him and unfortunately things get worse as time goes by.

10. i cant say much about him here cos he will read what i say and i will be punished. all i can say is that at last i found my soul-mate. he’s very understanding or at least he has no problem with me and my mental problem. he likes me being weird.

11. the one thing i really want is getting my divorce, i cant wait to marry him. (crazy right?!!)

12. two months and 10 days ago me and my partner exchanged rings and since then i’m wearing my ring 24-7, something never happened to my wedding ring.

13. i can say i am enjoying my life, and it will be better when i have Alex’s custody. i know one thing, i really want to be her dad and i want her badly and her mom doesn’t want her, so no problem left 😀

14. it’s hard to be gay and a parent and more than that have BD. every time i feel really down i cant stop thinking of losing her.

but i have a wonderful lover and i know i can count on him.

15. my little girl officially lives with me for nearly 2 months and she loves her two dads, so we’re gonna be  a good family but i know she needs a woman in her life and her mom doesn’t want to be that woman. spo i keep on searching and i have found some eager moms to help me.

16. i think that was enough for a start after so long. i need time to keep my other blog updated 🙂

once upon a time, long time ago, “to be, or not to be” was a question, but now things have changed a lot. the “being” is not that important. the being…. makes difference.

so the other day i was chatting with “the other guy”-don’t think wrong, he’s straighter than anything you can think of, so he’s just a friend- and the conversation went on like this:

 me: hug me

that guy: already

me: where?

me: how?

that guy: cant you feel it?

me: no. i think you’re hugging the wrong guy

that guy: what??

that guy: you re fat and pale, right?

me: fuck u! where have you gone?

me: gay-asian bar? 

that guy: oh, shoot! it’s a girl.

me: huh?

me: went to the les? omg

that guy: God im blessed!

(i showed him my picture)

me: this is me

that guy: really?

me: yeah. btw do i really look fat and pale?

that guy: no,   you look weird

me: why?

me: do i have horns and tail and boobs?!

that guy: gayish?

me: i dunno.you tell me

that guy: you feel like choosing a right path, buddy??

me: what path?

that guy: your life

me: hhmm no so sure. but i think it’s fine

me: u dont agree?

that guy: sorry i dont

me: i guessed so

me: is your way right?

that guy: i guessed so

me: lucky then. im not jealous

me: i couldn’t change anything actually

that guy: i dont ask you to

that guy: really?

me: yes really

that guy: you re a loser i know

me: u know i tried

me: i know it

me: no need to be reminded

that guy: never again

me: my pleasure

me: you wanna confirm what?

me: my whole existence is a sin?

that guy: that’s confirmed

that guy: no need to be reminded

that guy: just wonder..

me: wonder what?

that guy: it is stupid that you think you couldn’t change anything and blame god

me: i dont blame him. i never did

me: i just say my creation was the worst thing he could do

that guy: that’s blaming, pal

me: ok. i cant change it. I’m fucked

that guy: now let say, you cant change it and you just follow it

me: ok as you say

that guy: now you wanna affect people around yo?

me: i was born a loser. no i just want to love and be loved

that guy: don’t you think ya have power

me: for what?

that guy: look at your words, man. you have power

that guy: you may have affected many people

me: to be a jerk?

that guy: you happy?

me: i think so

me: you wanna conclude I’m happy with some powers, right?

that guy: maybe, and happy you get some attention with that

me: what a poor creature i am then

me: i’d rather go to bed

me: g’night

And the chat was over but i didn’t go to bed. later we chatted a little more and he claimed i’ll be a threat to my little girl for being gay.

how can i be such? i mean no harm to her. well may be drunk dads say the same but still beat their families but i’m not into alcoholic drinks nor drugs. and i don’t think loving my boyfriend would make me so insane that i try to harm my little girl. that’s way too stupid.

but well there’s this possibility of being hated by her for my sexual orientation. that’s as much as possible when parents kick their kids outta home for the same reason.

i don’t wanna conclude anything and i don’t wanna deny being bisexually gay. and i think even denying it, won’t help me much when me and my wife are screwing one an other and i can’t stop my mind thinking  of him instead of her.

but there’s this fact. i’m a loser in this world and the world of the dead. i can say i tried to change a few things but i’m not giving my boyfriend to a pile of written stuff claiming i will go to hell for being myself and for loving the man of my dreams.

why no guy goes to hell for loving a woman? (3-4 women in other religions!) that’s not a sin but it can make me a real psycho running after my daughter for that reason.

oh my dearest you have no fucking idea how much i missed you all those endless long endless day-like nights, staring at empty pages, or even the blue thing on top of other people’s writing cans all saying to me, sorta even deceiving me to write!

officially i haven’t blogged since 12th of last month, technically i haven’t written any crap for a whole month and by now i’m dammed sure my psychiatrist is so proud of me.

i can’t say it was a good time but it was fine. and i really have no idea to whom i’m talking too. Alllooooo any muthafucka out there?

if you wanna become an expert, you need helluva practice. and i can’t even write a logical thing (let’s pretend i could write some time ago)

so as for the start or kinda end to something review the last 6-8 weeks!

1. broke up with my ex (fucking bastard, it was obvious he wasn’t my kind)

2. changed my psychiatrist and as a result went through all the shit with new meds and dosage!

3. the baby girl turned to be Ms. talkative with lots of crazy questions, just giving me headaches and making me wish i was deaf!

4. i gave up the idea of spending so many nights surfing the net and instead i started to read some books!

5. some fucking bastard stole my laptop and a few other things, just forcing me to choose between a brand new laptop in the next 3 years or a digi-cam for the coming 3-4 months.

6. last not least apparently and to some extent obviously i found my mr. right and Gawd he’s so sexy and lovable. i’m not gonna give any details cos you may kidnap him. all i can say is that he’s so much better than all the guys i’ve dated to date!

what else?

aha, as long as i’m back and i’ve made my mind to keep on blogging and writing crap for a while i thought this blog needed a new look and beside the new theme (that i have it on my other blog and love it so much!) i needed a header so  without further ado, i bring to you the extinct species living in north pole aka me (i know you were dying to see my face!)

i know i look really ugly and remind you of your great great great grand father but i can promise you to have a plastic surgery asap (i’m saving for it, may be you can help me a bit!)

ok, that was enough for today. i’m gonna change the header soon, i’m just looking for something better!