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obviously i’m really busy. sometimes i have no time to pee and i mean it.
i eat like a big fat pig but not only i don’t put on weight at most i don’t lose weight.
many times there are so much stress to finish the reports and tests on time, i really wanna sit down and cry. and as bipolar as i am it’s really hard to make fun of things to change the tension and stress in the working place.
i’d be glad if there were 34 hours in a day, at least i could find some time for myself cos everything is hurting me, sometimes i feel my body is decaying from inside: terrible stomachaches, unbearable headaches, exhaustion,sleeplessness and worse than those my old enemy, Asthma. i’m not complaining (well yes i am) but it’s too hard to work 12-13 hours* a day without saying a word.

there are many things i wanna talk about cos these thoughts are eating me from inside but i find no time, i don’t have any time for my baby girl and just 1-2 hours for Meg at nights when get home hell tired. it’s so funny and pitiable. i eat she talks about her day, she washes the dishes, i talk about my day, no fighting, no arguing, no walk by the river side, no meeting friends, no time for teasing. we’ve turned into human robots and it’s so sick.

honestly i cant do much to help myself, i really need that 4-5 hours sleep cos even tired bipolars cant bear the sleeplessness for many nights.

i sorta miss myself, every time i look at myself in the mirror i see a stranger without feelings, it seems there’s no place for the sensitive guy i knew, i dunno what am i turning to but i don’t like the new look on my face, those eyes are so cold.
today’s news:
Ringed seals, like this animal near Barrow, dig out snow caves on the sea ice, where they surface to breathe and give birth and avoid getting eaten by polar bears. Warming is melting Arctic sea ice earlier, moving up the time when snow lairs dug by ringed seals collapse.



  1. Oh no!!

    Is there no way you can change jobs to one that is less demanding on your time??!!

    Jeez honey, everybody needs fun and conversation and comfort and affection and sleep!!!


  2. hhmm nope minx, wish there was a way out, i need all of those you mentioned but i have no time for anything and anyone (work queer i ma’look)

  3. I resemble work queer! Or at least so the Bastard says!

  4. @ sandra: you’re an idol for working, i cant be compared to you LOL

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