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Today I haven’t done much rather than doing the shopping and watching the baby girl (or the other way round).
I feel quite down. I know I’m hell intolerable when feeling blue and there’s nothing much to do to help me but at least I expect others to understand me a bit.
THB called in the afternoon to go watch “notes on a scandal” but I said I’d rather stay at home than staring at a big screen and not seeing and understanding anything.
So he came home feeling P.O. and complaining about why I didn’t make dinner or why the whole place looked like a real mess.
It wasn’t really my job to do such things though I was home doing nothing most of the day.
So we sat on the sofa watching TV while the baby girl was eating-playing with her doll probably waiting for me to tell her not to suck her dirty doll but I didn’t.
We couldn’t find anything worth watching so after pressing the buttons on the remote control umpteenth time we decided to turn the TV off and gaze at the wall in front of us!
Then THB suggested to go to the bedroom and I disagreed, he protested and I told him I wasn’t really in the mood of doing anything.
So he gave up and turned the TV on again, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep a bit cos the headache was killing me.
I could still hear the baby girl making sounds and talking to her toys. TBH got closer and put his arm round my waist, I didn’t protest but when he started rubbing his hands between my times I really got mad and shouted so loud that the baby girl started crying.
Me and THB started arguing and after several minutes he got up cursing heading to the door and saying he’s going out to meet a john.
He better fuck a stranger guy for the money than touching me when I don’t feel like it.
I’m not his fuck buddy and vice versa. Sometimes he gets so irritating I think of ending everything.
I dunno who’s the blame but I can have some times for myself, can’t I?


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