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*.this is based on a real conversation though a few parts are changed to make it funny (hope it worked!)
this morning when i opened my eyes it was hell dark outside as usual, after a long battle with myself deciding whether to get up and go to bathroom or stay another 5 minutes in bed and tolerate the pressure in my full bladder; at last i managed to get outta bed, tiptoed to the bathroom and back to the bed feeling proud of myself that i didn’t wake anyone for the first time,but then i realized i was alone on the bed, not only the bed, the room was empty too. so i opened the door and made a bee line to the kitchen where i heard noises.
moi: hey, whacha hell doing here?
meg (stirring the ingredients of something in her pot): cooking!
the word found its way to my brain through my ear and i spent a while analyzing everything, the fact is that getting meg outta bed before 7.30 is almost unpossible so i shouted :” what’s the time?” cos i was pretty sure it was passed 9 and meg forgot to wake me up for work.
calmly came her reply:” 5.40″
meg;”5.41 now”
i found a chair and sat on it looking round the room. there Alexis was sitting silently on her chair waiting for something boiling in the pot. i wondered: “that must be breakfast”
the next 10 minutes was spent in utter silence.
moi: “why’re yo up so early”
meg:” cos i couldn’t sleep ‘n Alexis was cryin, she looks feverish , so i got up to make her some soup(she pronounced it in a way that the fever was so obvious and there was something very wrong with me that couldn’t see how sick she was *~*)
moi: hhhmmm
meg: she didn’t wake yo up?
moi: eerrrr noooooo
meg:good, ok now feed her soup and don’t let her splash it on the floor, i need a shower.
moi: ok (still sitting on the chair)
meg: Keith, wake up,
moi: i’m up jus can’t keep my eyes open.
i’m having one of those “can’t stay awake” episodes that happens 3-4 times a month so it’s quite unpossible to see me awake before 10 am.( i can sleep with open eyes at work, that’s a guess)
so meg went and me & Alexis were left alone on the stage. like many other parents we talk to our little baby to help her talk asap.
me:” ok my baby girl open your mouth, the plane’s coming” and i shook the spoon full of soup infronna her.
**. i can’t understand why it should be a plane, i tried it with train, bus, car, boat, fly,mosquito …. only the plane works, i’m sure she knows how much i hate flights.
10 minutes later, me still waving the spoon in the air and she insisting on keeping her mouth shut.
so i gave up and went back to my chair, i need a little more sleep.
before taking a step away from her chair i heard splashing sounds, “oh my heavens, no Alex, for God’s sake, your mom gonna hang me with her towel.” i had to act quick so grabbed hold of the plate and put it on the table, 1,2&3……..Alexis started crying and tears ran down her little cheeks in a flash of light made me wonder how she can burst into tears so fast.
then another cry from the other side of the house.
her mom:” Keith, fetch me clothes.”
moi: fuck you, go get it yourself (well this was in my mind); in a minute.
so i left the crying Alexis to help her mom, she was outta bathroom in a few minutes and i had to wipe the stains off the floor before she saw.
as fast as i could, i cleaned Alexis’ mess and then back to where we left the play, i should made her eat 2-3 spoonful of soup before her mom came.
moi (on my knees begging): for heaven’s sake open your mouth.
…… still shut
moi: look at this beautiful plane, it needs to land
nothing happened
moi: com’on baby, open your mouth, the pilot needs to pee.
hhhmmm still shut, she’s as stubborn as her dad.
moi (close to tears) : for the sake of your dad, please open your fucking mouth
Alexis: no
moi: please
Alexis: noooo
moi: jus once, or i’d cry
Alexis (louder): nooooooooooo
meg: whatcha doing?
moi: trying to make her eat her soup, i tried my best, she jus doesn’t want to open her fcukin mouth open.
meg: how many times should i tell you not to use f-words infronna her.
moi: ok *~*
meg: tell her to eat one more time.
moi: OOOKKKK. look baby eat this and that’s it, EAT IT!
Alexis: NOOOOO
meg(shouting): she talked, holly christ, she talked, she said “no”.
me; huh?! she’s been saying that for a while.
in a second meg was performing Yupik dance and i jus couldn’t understand.
So our little baby girl said her first word and we spent the next hour trying to figure out what other words she knows.
this is Alexis’ vocabulary
Ma -m+a(this is not an “a” it’s something between A and E): mom
No: no
Daa (like “a” in arm): it can be anything
da (a in “cat”): this is the answer of “what is” this after pointing at many random things and in the end to the poor dad.
if you ask her “who is he?” she doesn’t reply but the answer to “what is this?” pointing to me is “da”
and it’s a lot different from “Daa” 🙄
so we’re busy next days and weeks making her pronounce different things, and surely my name would be the last, but well if she calls me “da” and don’t call other things “Daa” i feel ok.
***. this one was one of the best experiences in my life, the joy was nothing that could be bought with billion bucks, does any one knows how long does it take a baby learn to make sentences.
****. apparently Alexis started talking a few days ago cos my friend told me she can say “no” but i thought he was pulling my leg.
conclusion: days are flying by fast, i better think of Alexis’ university soon.
and yes it feels great to be a dad, i like being myself 🙂



  1. Congrats..!
    whoooa she can talk, can she say my name?
    btw, why her dad took time to realize from the first time she said “no”

  2. Thanks for this post. It really cheered me up.

    Its amazing how quick kids grow and learn. Before you know it she’ll be chattering away to you non stop.

  3. thanks rinnie.
    no you have no chance to get your name pronounced before mine! and her dad was quite sleepy/stupid, hearing problem… should i confess sometimes i can’t see very obvious things!! d’ah!

  4. @ puddlejumper: 🙂 well you’re right, you’re quite experienced 😉 but don’t frighten me, i won’t let her get away without saying my name! and later when chattering i’m gonna stick her lips cos i’m the best dad available! 😉

  5. Aww…sounds like you are enjoying fatherhood. A cute episode there, congrats to Alexis.

  6. @babelfish: yes indeed i am but why congrats to Alexis?!?!

  7. For being able to out-smart her dad with her first word 🙂

  8. oh God yes even the littlest creature here knows what a …. her dad is!
    i rock any way 🙂

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