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“let’s have a quickie babe, then i let you go” said the snowman to his girlfriend.
so the snowgirl hopped on the hood and spread her snowy legs apart………….
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word definition:
bipolar: characterized by the alternation of manic and depressive states
snowmen: plural form of snowman,a figure like a man that people, especially children, make out of snow for fun.
pervert (perve):a person whose sexual behaviour is not thought to be normal or acceptable by most people.
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dream themes:Your dream body represents your dream ego and your conscious identity. To see a penis in your dream, signifies sexual energy, power and fertility. To see an exceptionally large penis, suggests doubts and anxieties about your sexual drive and libido.
To see apes in your dream may refer to you wild inner nature, particularly your sexual nature.
question: what if i dream of a big ape with a hung?
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i have a terrible headache, i have a terrible feeling in my stomach and everything smell like shit. Dont puke on me again!
well gotta recharge my shaver and yes the nature’s calling me.
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hey it’s not that i dont wanna blog, or i dont know what i really wanna say; i jus dont know how to say it, do you have a dictionary? i have to look up the word “pee” in it………..
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do you have a headache now? take these asprins then, i have a headache too but these fucking pills jus dont work……….
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.
i’ve been thinking about it for some hours, for some days well i’ve been thinking about it for many years and i can play the “acceptance-denial” game as long as you like.
im quite used to all those weird feelings and so do my family, relatives and friends.
there are many times i doubt my own feelings, i cant put them in right boxes, “sad” miserable”bored”tired”happy”excited”real”…..
and then i realize people are labeling me with names i cant understand.
and i hate myself, this world, all the people around me, all the earthly pleasures………..
it’s quite unacceptable for many people to see me jumping up and down, rocking the place, joking , laughing….. then when the party’s over i get lost in depression jungles…..
what is love? does love necesarily lead to sex? why should a young guy avoid looking straight in stranger women’s eyes, never shake hands and step back when women get too close, yet he thinks of filing divorce cos his wife cant satisfy his sexual desires?
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and my girlfriend’s mom said:” i wont let you marry her cos you jus want her for sex.”
and i married her cos i was sure her mom was wrong and then i couldnt get rid of the feeling of guilt when i flirted with another girl the other day cos SHE wasnt paying me any attention, cos she didnt want any close contact during the very first months of pregnancy……..
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and how stupid i am for confessing my stupidity to the world, it’s jus a cheap soap opera and well she knows everything NOW………
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and you can find me on-line the time you suppose me to be in bed surfing the net looking desperately for someone to chat with…
and i can spend a day with a cup of coffee and a loaf of bread not at all feeling hungry………..
“A manic-depressive person in the depressive phase may be sad, despondent, listless, lacking in energy, unable to show interest in his surroundings or to enjoy himself, and may have a poor appetite and disturbed sleep.”
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the house was cleaned during the night and the tree was decked out within an hour, everything was ready sooner than expected……
and the blog template is changed with a happy one and quite many funny posts …………
….but i never try to make long sentences cos i dont have time thinkin about one thing, i have to switch to another topic immediately.
“The manic person talks loudly, rapidly, and continuously and progresses rapidly from one topic to another; is extremely enthusiastic, optimistic, and confident; is highly sociable and gregarious; gesticulates and moves about almost continuously; is easily irritated and easily distracted; and is prone to grandiose notions and shows an inflated sense of self-esteem. ”
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“Manic-depressive(bipolar) disorders of varying severity affect about 1 percent of the general population and account for 10 to 15 percent of readmissions to mental institutions. Statistical studies have suggested a hereditary predisposition to the disorders, and this predisposition has now been linked to a defect on a dominant gene located on chromosome 11. In a physiological sense, it is believed that manic-depressive psychosis is caused by the faulty regulation of one or more naturally occurring amines at sites in the brain where the transmission of nerve impulses takes place; a deficiency of the amines results in depression, and an excess of them causes mania.”
and surely i know what the hell’s wrong with me, im doing fine when i take those fucking pills on regular basis and im aware it’s quite hard to live with such a guy, so…………
thanks to my lovely wife and her family and anothers who really wanna shoot me accidentally but they dont (or havent suceeded yet) thanks to puddlejumper (http://puddlejumper.wordpress.com/) for giving me the courage to write.
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im gonna haunt santa tonight, it’s so cold out there (all below zero *~*)

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One Comment

  1. Hey keith, don’t you dare go all 😦 on me. I can accept the occasional *~* (in fact, I rather look forward to it), but if those pills are keeping you as you are, keep right on taking them. My point is, I once read a book and in it it said “A body can get used to everything- even to being hanged”. I know you. Well, I know parts of you. Manic-depressive or not, I like it so haha. 🙂 x


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