A Sagittarian’s wish

dear fairy godmother , i saw a meteor passed the roof (luckily hit the neighbor’s roof, the one with a disgusting bulldog who always shit near my auto-thanks for listening to my prayers) last night so i think you have to listen to me again.

i hate old autos, i hate them when they dont wanna move a wheel for the sake of heavens, i hate them when they decide not to run when you really in need of them. what’s the use of owning an auto that wife hates more than you cos she can only drive with automatic ones & you have to knock on neighbor’s door to give you a hand for starting that asshole almost everyday.

so at last i made my mind & got rid of my ol shitty chevy, God knows chevys are my fave after porsche, beemer & viper & again he’s aware of my empty accounts & the fact i can never own such cool autos.

ok now i have a few K bucks + a check (from my beloved brother) infronna me & jus finished assessing all those nice offers. honestly i dont need a calculator to calculate how much i have cos it’s jus few, so with all these bumpy roads the only thing i can find is a ford f350 lariat ’04 with 10cylinders,6 seats & surely automatic, i know i dont have enough dough so it’s your job to gimme some.
should i tell you the exact amount or you’re clever enough to gimme a bit more than i need?!
you know when i sit all alone at my desk & pretend im a responsible husband, lots of illegal thoughts come to my mind so you better act fast.
sincerely yours
forgotton hellboy from alaska

************

the next part’s about horoscopes

generally speaking,horoscopes suck, i dunno why but they’re never true, well may be it’s because they are BS.this is what i got a few days ago & well it’s sorta true:

SAGITTARIUS nails the art of being unavailable. This sign understands the yearning for what’s just out of reach because he or she is born with this yearning. What Sagittarius does so well is maintain the appearance of being unreachable even when he or she wants to be gotten and can be easily won. Why rob your fellow human of the thrill of chasing? Anything worth having seems even more valuable if great effort has been taken to overcome obstacles and distance along the way. On the surface, it may seem easy to be unavailable — don’t pick up the phone, say “no” and do not engage the person trying to reach you. However, there’s a difference between being unavailable and being never available. Sagittarius knows that making a strong enough impression to withstand the tension of his or her disappearing act is key. So Sagittarius is sure to infiltrate the thoughts and imagination of his or her subject before taking off. When Sagittarius is finally caught, he or she is sure to make the pay-off worthwhile.

i think im so unavailable that even fairy godmother cant find me, poor me.

nobody loves me, they’re out without me, having fun

ok, whatever shit may come, im gonna ask my in-laws for help!