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Some things men can say when getting caught looking at another woman:
– I can’t believe that outfit she is wearing.(Said disdainfully)
– Look at that guy… over there… behind the woman.
– I think that’s a man dressed as a woman. (Incredulous)
– Isn’t that the actress from the movie Delicatessen? (Chances are she hasn’t seen that movie – and neither have you, but you will get brownie points naming a foreign film, and it will be just obtuse enough to distract her.
– I think that’s the girl I knew from high school who eventually joined a convent (or was committed to an asylum) and turned out to be a real nut case.
– Help me, I got something in my eye…can’t see a thing!
– Hey that’s the loser I dumped in order to go out with you. Boy am I glad I ever got away from her. What a moron.
– I know you’re probably thinking I was staring at a beautiful woman, but to me she is like one of those fancy bakery cakes that looks good, but then you have a bite
and it is so sweet that it makes you sick.She makes me sick. (It helps if you convulse a little at the end here.. maybe it will camouflage your drool).
– I was just thinking how I felt sorry for her -since she can never hold a candle to you(this one might only get you punched, but it’s worth a try).
– Do you think she’s prettier than me? (Give her a taste of her own medicine)

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