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several days ago, i read this on the front page of a newspaper:
Alma Temple, “Aanaq”, celebrated her 94th birthday on August 19, 2006 with her family and close friends who brought gifts of food for her birthday feast. Originally from Napakiak, she was born in 1912 in the old camp called Qamuryaraq.
well i wasnt invited, so i forgot it like many other things. i never buy any newspaper here cos there aint much to read, nothing interesitng, nobody killed, no wrecks, i dunno why i never hear of plane crashes, may be one day it happens, if ever heard of such a news, be sure i was in that plane.
the interesting thing about this old lady is she has seen her great-great-great grandchildren, that’s 5 generations. i really dont wanna live that long, 94 years is too much for me. i jus wanna live till i see my baby girl (& the future baby) has her own life as perfectly as possible.
i was thinking about the so many relations alex doesnt have. she has no aunts, no cousins but she has 2 crazy uncles (my brothers), a granny, a grandpa and a great-grandma. not to mention she has a very cool parents (specially dad!). -smto at my wife!-
i’ve thought about my grandma many times recently, i have many good memories, i still remember some of the tales she told me when i was a little boy and the many times i begged my parents to let me stay with her for a few days and they refused. the funny thing is i lived in boston for 5-6 years and i never stayed with my granny, even those times i had no where to go. i didnt invite her to my wedding, i didnt call her after her recovery & i havent told her many things about my life. the woman i admired all my childhood, the nice lady who let me sleep by her side and told me many exciting tales i could never find in any book, now is a total stranger to me. i cant forgive myself for waiting for a call of her death all last week, i really dunno why i was waiting for her death. im sure i wont bother myself traveling to Ma for her funeral cos i dont have the money and i wont inherit a cent. may be it’s because i dont want her to suffer from illness, she always told me it’s better to die than lying sick in bed for a long time.
the more i think, the more i love her. she supported me in many ways. she stood on my side though she knew i was wrong. i cant remember how many times she encouraged me to finish my university. im sure if she hadnt help me, i wouldnt have the life i have now. i was too foolish to try to forget her, ignore her, throw her outta my life. i cant deny the many times i asked my creator why he took my parents and let her and many old people live, doing nothing but wasting the tax me and many others pay.
last week was a horrible time for me and many of my family members. i fucked up my life in a way i couldnt believe but fortunately i learned a few lessons, i try my best not to let such shits happen again. i realized how many good friends i have. i spent long hours thinking about my parents, in the end i couldnt sleep a minute cos i could smell burning fuel in my dreams. it’s still so hard for me to write about them the way i like, but im sure one day im gonna do it and that’s when i can forgive myself.
to conclude all these random thoughts. my only and best friend in life is my wife, she’s the only one who can listen to me without breaking my head after 5 minutes. im gonna call my granny next morning. im gonna do the shopping, chop some woods, buy a trout, wash the car, fix mixer……oooopppps that’s my to-do-list for this weekend.
have a nice friday , that’s enough for tonight, i better go to bed again.

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4 Comments

  1. I’m glad you’re going to call your granny. 😀

    My grandmother has been dead not quite a year. She lived to be 102 and 11 months. There were 6 generations of us alive when she left us. I am 59 years old. My great/granddaughter turned 2 yesterday. I could live to see 6 generations. Not sure I WANT to, but I could!

    You write beautifully, Keith. I hope you find healing for the loss of your parents. Writing about them will hopefully help.

  2. Sometimes when in a hectic work, sleep, housework lifestyle it is easy to forgot those around us. It can be difficult to hear wake-up calls when we ignore those around us, the friends, relatives and often needing reminders to give someone a call, drop them a line.

    People are forgetful creatures and relationships require many a long hours chatting, refreshing, enjoying, sharing…thank you for the reminder Keith. Do not regret life, take action and build bridges which need mending. Sorry about the loss of your parents, there is a reason for everything in life (somewhere).

  3. Check out my new pics of the great grand babies in my latest post……

    http://jcoftw.wordpress.com

  4. sandra, it’s great you’re still around and i really hope you live long and healthy, lotta people need to be kicked ass by you. and happy birthday to your great-grand daughter and her parents. and i hope i can find a way to get rid of depressing thoughts.
    cruststation: surely there’s a reason for everything. im sure there’s a reason in creating a knucklehead like me. fortunately as far as i have alzheimer nobody expect me to remember anything. 🙂 gotta fix some bridges, thanks for your nice comment


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