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“No! Much more better. It is a *drawing* of a key.” Jack sparrow

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while talking to wife the other day, i reallized whenever i use “we” i mean “i” but when ever she uses “we” she means “you” so i thought someone had to translate what men are really saying. :-p
“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand,while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“Let’s take your car.”
Really means….
“Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.”
“I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”
Really means….
“As long as it’s not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means….
“Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really means….
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response like Pavlov’s dog drooling.
“Good idea.”
Really means….
“It’ll never work. And I’ll spend the rest of the day gloating.”
“Have you lost weight?”
Really means….
“I’ve just spent our last $300 on a cordless drill.”
“I’m getting more exercise lately.”
Really means….
“The batteries in the remote are dead.”
“We’re going to be late.”
Really means….
“Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac, even though I don’t need one.”
“Hey, I’ve read all the classics.”
Really means….
“I’ve been subscribing to Playboy since 1972.”
“You cook just like my mother used to.”
Really means….
“She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too.”
“I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind.”
Really means….
“I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.”
“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
Really means….
“I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“That’s interesting, dear.”
Really means….
“Are you still talking?”
“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.”
Really means….
“I forgot our anniversary again.”
“You expect too much of me.”
Really means….
“You want me to stay awake.”
Now that i’ve explained men, is it really that hard to understand moi?
note: those guys who think they have nothing to do this weekend, they better go watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest  ; it’s quite boring but funny enough to waste 150 minutes for it.
caution: dont take your little babies, they really dont like the movie & wont let you enjoy it much. (personal experience)
Plot Outline: Jack owes an unpaid debt to Davy Jones and his army of sea-phantoms…his soul. Now, he must find a way to save himself from becoming one of them, and suffering forever.

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3 Comments

  1. Pretty darn funny!

    There should also be another translation the other way around!

  2. i dont see the essence, with translation or not it’s impossible to undersatand them 🙂

  3. 1. syafneegreen – July 28, 2006[Edit]
    “Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
    really means…
    “when will you stop moaning and complaining??”
    (personal experience)

    2. Hell Boy – July 28, 2006[Edit]
    apparently more experienced


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