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The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.”
– Walt Whitman

things i know: i dont chat at work, blog ….. cos 1. i love my job 2. im busy 3. i cant :-p
things i try to understand: 1. why i waste my time by puter than playing with alex 2. why me & meg been ignoring each other 3. why i cant keep a balance between my income & expenditures 4. why am i so bored and boring.
firstly a bit of correction to last post: technology not technolgy, missiles not missles; my sister told me i make lotta mistakes, i ignored her, seems it’s getting serious, yihihihi
secondly this afternoon wife called to tell me i have to go home on my own( we always walk home together) & she wont come home till 7, ok! so i jus thought:”let’s have a party.” so when i got home like any civilized man, turned on the player with volume near “max” then a quick shower, & to the kitchen, there’s a cupboard for special guests, i barely open it for personal use but i sometimes have the right to enjoy myself; to my surprise not as many as bottles i expected, gotta remember to buy a box of whatever-may next time i go to anchorage. (no i cant go out & buy whatever i like, it’s !)
so i took something that looked like a bottle of claret & ran upstairs, puter on, speakers on, volume up, goooooooooo. i chatted for nearly an hour, when wife announced her arrival. luckily i didnt have time to drink more than a few sips & at the moment the bottle’s under our bed, im waiting for her to sleep so i can put it back, she’s gonna kill me if she finds out. (im 99.9% sure she doesnt read my blog hihihhii).
what’s going on in my crazy mind: feeling guilty, really guilty, sorta ashamed. i promise to be a good boy, you know it was all devil’s fault, he misled me,  i was deceived. do i look innocent now?!?
any way while chatting i got a few funny notes:
“you’re having domestic problems.
having a family of my own means im richer than you
having a family means that’s normal & im not crazy”
answer: it’s not like that, sometimes unpaid bills make me go nuts. & having a family means in a period of my life i made a suicidal, stupid….. decision & now im paying for the consequences.
confession: im hell sorry for soundin a bit p.i.a (pain in the @$$). i got my check & im going to bank tomorrow, yipppeeeee.
& the last word, my dearest person in the world bought me a new pair of climbing shoes. hhooooooooorrrrraaaaayyyyyy. have i ever mentioned how much i love her. :-X
i dont have any problem with anyone except the neighbor’s dog.
those who have problem with me better fuck their brains with hhhhmmmm pumpkin!
note: any financial help or advice for next month is welcome! 🙂
happy hellboy aka hellboy in heaven



  1. Those new boots look great…wanna send them to me?

  2. See! You never pay attention to small things. Something small sometimes precious..

  3. sandra: yes you can have it, if you’re gonna send me a better one 🙂

    rinnie: can you tell me why you pay no attention to small things too?! where’s my mail?

  4. nice boots, see? your life ain’t so bad.

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