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quote of the day:”dont fuck with me, i promise not to harm you”

8 days without blogging, not regreting, not trying to convince myself to write any crap, not really reading any blog, all shit, nothing satisfying.
some how lost, some how found myself.
mountains always fascinated me, i love nature though not paid much attention recently.
after a long time i did it & there in the middle of the god’s power & creation i saw a little creature, something forgotton but not helpless, something like me, the part i almost forgot, something hell powerful, beyond my own abilities. i discovered myself again like a shadow outta nowhere belonging to no one, so perfect still so untamed.
i needed a few days to catch up with daily creepy stuff, to get lost in places i dont belong, to forget what i am.
honestly there’s no joy in blogging nor readin blogs anymore, they seem so far away, nothing about what i need,jus shit crap shout cry anger, WTF!?
this world’s way too meaningless, i have no ear to hear all those worthless words again & again every day.
it’s jus a case of running & hiding. running away from the truth, the reality ;hiding from ourselves, lying to everyone,specially to ourselves.
im tired of pretending to be someone im not, someone i dunno, someone i enjoy being, something evilish down there to satisfy my demons with fresh lies.
seems honesty is dead in me & lotta other people. no chance to trust anyone, a life of misunderstandings & wrong steps; why everyone has so many faces?!
standing on the peak gave me no positive feeling, jus a spark of what i am, realizing i dont hate myself but other people, my endless desire of attracting attention, acting like wise guys, pretending i wasnt afraid when i was frightened like hell.
so hard to say what i felt & saw. im jus tired of pretendig to be a weak helpless soul, it’s not my kind, never was & never will be, jus a random pleasure.
i jus found out i can be so fucking sociable & still hate other people to death. ignorant, self-centered, proud, wayward, unpredictable, aggressive, rugged & energetic as i was.
i hate talking, i hate letting people in my own castle,i try to be different from other people cos they are way too boring, i like thinking but never protest when im sure it’s useless. i like writing crap to pretend i dont care. im tired of hiding my real side, so i think i better give up pretending & jus be myself cos there’s nothing wrong with me.i killed humanity with my own hands.
“Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying”dscn5644.jpg



  1. It’s been a lifetime since I last blogged, and there is a reason why I don’t blog about life but pretty pictures. That sort of stuff is a way of escape…I understand what you mean about trying to be someone you’re not etc. Would other people be frightened of the real me? probably.

  2. Do you know what amazes me? You are one of the few people who can ramble complete and utter crap, and not look like an idiot. (Ok, maybe a little bit of an idiot, but not as much so as the rest of us).
    “mountains always fascinated me, i love nature though not paid much attention recently.” What the hell? I love it. Your craziness inspires me to be a little less organized, a little less devoted- to let go a little more. Thanks.

  3. :”dont fuck with me, i promise not to harm you”

    I’m stealing it babe….however I will give you credit. 😀

  4. welcome back to the living or not! seems i’m not the only one who’s been dead for a while?!

    i just realized something with what you wrote above, nothing not even blogging can ever ease us of what we ail from…. ?:

  5. cruststation:hhhhmmm yo being frightening? i cant believe, but i enjoy looking at those nice pictures though i know nothing about art, btw it’s fun to blog about life, sometimes pull the curtains & shit with other people minds 🙂
    happychick:thanks im so flattered, honestly i try my best to look like idiots cos i love that word 🙂 btw hope yo dont inspire much, im hell lazy in everyday life.
    sandra: thanks for the credit
    mayang:hard question, but im not looking for anything to ease me, it’s jus a censored way of ranting 🙂

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