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yippeee, at last the world kup's started & hell the first match was so kool;

match report:

Germany 4 – 2 Costa Rica Match 1 Munich (64,950)

Poland 0 – 2 Ecuador Match 2 Gelsenkirchen (52,000)

England 1-0 Paraguay Match 3 Frankfurt (thanks defender of the opposing team, this match was horrible!)

Trinidad & Tobago v Sweden Match 4 Dortmund (not yet played)

my klokc shows 7 am saturday, so jus 3 matches.

yesterday we went to kangegnak near Bering strait, with a friend & his family, he's 3 naughty demons that really drove me krazy (that's why my K & C are mixed confusingly) 2 girls & a boy & hell im sure i dont want any other demon added to my family, this one (that looked so like angels) is more than enough.

meg & alex stayed with 'em but i returned cos i had lotta things to do, but honestly i didnt do anything ; jus watched England v Paraguay; this house is so dull & disgusting, so quiet, i jus feel so blue that cant concentrate, i checked bedroom 2 times looking for another creature, im gonna do whatever shit i have to do & join 'em again, im not gonna stay here on my own for the rest of the weekend. (question: who was that guy who paid anything for a quiet day? answer: it wasnt moi 😉

& about the summer thing, i feel kinda tagged by this post

although according to sandra's counting it's 12 days to summer, we only have 2 seasons, winter & summer ; so it's summer here.

first im really sorry for the girl to see her first summer in such a cursed land, but at least she was lucky she went to DC & saw her first spring. my poor little girl go nuts when she sees a flower!

so let's start the rants!

it's summer in alaska when:

  • you open yer eyes after a long sleep (called hibernation) & find out yer all white scenery changed to black & white
  • you have to collect wood for your winter
  • when the temperature goes above 75 people go nuts & think they live in hell
  • people dont know what's the use of "cooling option" on the air conditioners so they simply turn it off till winter
  • yer diet would be something like fish-tea for breakfast, fish-burger for lunch & fish-juice + fish pizza for dinner, you can have fish ice cream if you like
  • you eat goose when yo're experienced enough to shoot one instead of killing yer family
  • you dont have any idea what kinda color is called green
  • in worst parts; yo never sleep for 3-4 months cos there's no night (but yo're gonna sleep 3-4 months in winter, without working)
  • people dont like skinny guys cos they think they'd die in winter, so they eat lotta oil….(apparently i wont survive in winter!)
  • you start your car without any difficulty
  • snowplows can rest for a while
  • yo can hear kids still running & shouting after 10.30 pm!
  • yo hardly can convince yer baby girl to close her eyes before mr sun!
  • yo discover there are roads with black color, but you can hardly imagine there's anything called asphalt on it
  • you can play with mud as much as you like without anyone looking at you
  • wives wait with a kitchen knife by doors to make sure you take your shoes off 2 yards away from the entrance
  • the icy roads turn out to be rivers, hey that's a miracle, shocked, right?!
  • yo're never short of ice for your drinks, but the problem's buying & selling alcohol's illegal here so yo gota restore it in winter
  • you dunno what sunbath is
  • the most crazy idea is to swim in the river
  • you can find any kinda living creature from 2-100+ year ol by the rivers
  • you're rich when you have lotta trees in yer house (plastic, wooden, woolen,…. doesnt matter!)
  • when yer apple tree blossoms yo feel so happy that either you have a heart attack or yo faint
  • you see people with bikes or using route 11 (using their own feet!) more than cars, wondering why yo paid so much money for owning one
  • yo say good night to yer snowmachine & kiss it goodbye
  • yo go to next village like ancient guys, that means yo gotta row yor fucking boat
  • lotta people leave the city but some stupid guys come for the vacations (still hotels are full so dont come to here!)
  • you have meal four times a day
  • yo have breakfast at 5 & lunch at 10 then dinner's round 5 pm!
  • the most important news is about the biggest fish caught several days ago
  • the most romantic thing yo can do is to take yer lover by the river & accidentally push her to the river then run away
  • when the longest day of yer life ends (that's sometime round 20th june) you wish yo were never born
  • you see many babies, make you wonder where they were hiding in winter
  • the more food & wood you collect the happier yo live in winter, kinda like ants i guess
  • no matter how many hours yo waste in internet yo think yo live in 10th century & vikings gonna attack yo outta no where to steal yer food
  • you have to fish as many fish you can (something like 100 trouts) then you spend scaling & removing the guts for the rest of yer life
  • there are so many animals (fish ) that yo dunno their names , so yo can use yer brain & name 'em

like leopard fish, orange fucking fish, that ugly yellow eyed fish….

  • you can batter & trample on heads of fish to release yer evilish powers &satisfy your feelings of murder, violence & vandalism ?!, and people think you're a very good boy cos yo didnt let the fish suffer much

tourism note:

1. alaska is a black & white (sometimes blue & red) land & it's not a perfect place to waste yer vacation time in.

2. i dont fucking care if you love to come to alaska, we're away to southern hemisphere looking for snow

3. ok, we're at home but we dont wanna let you in

4.hey, if yo want to help us with gathering woods & dressing the fish, you're welcome

5. dont forget to bring yer gun & whoever you wanna kill accidentally

6. if you faint by seeing blood, yo better get back to yer plane

7. if you're afraid of water, do the same shit as # 6

8. you can stay in our place for free, if you bring tones of drinks

huh, im done! thanks sandra i cooled off, better make some coffee

btw we're open 24 hours from 12th june till 30th august, & the prices are really cheap, 500$ per day & 100$ per night+ yo gotta make yer own meal.

apart from all the crap, any crazy guy who wanna visit alaska is welcome to stay, for 2-3 days, but dont come in july cos my whole crazy family decided to raid for july 4th!

after August, i pack & head south!

warning: any creatures called in-laws are shot from miles again, my shooting ability improved alot, besides i have some muslim friends so i can ask 'em to drown(!?!) yer plane!

ok enough shit, gotta do my creepy work, jump to my 4 wheel horse, then borrow a friend's boat & row for 1.5 hours & then jump on the head of whoever creature by the land & steal their lunch!

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2 Comments

  1. I think I can stand the heat better! I like fish, but….damn that is rediculous!

  2. hhhhmmm let’s have a fish party


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