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recently i stepped into a new era of my marriage. things look a bit outta control, foolish & funny.
we jus keep on fighting restlessly for no rational reason, sometimes im sure we’re enjoying endless quarrels; i know im quite aggressive, but as far as i can remember meg always played the role of nice forgivigiving woman & she never complained, somehow satisified!
i dunno what happened to her during last week that she doesnt want that role anymore,seems her relatives brainwashed her.
whatever she does, she thinks it’s a matter of “none of my business” & i shouldnt say a word.
i know it’s foolish but sometimes it really gets serious. it’s not yet 2 months living together as a married couple & there are days we kick the hell outta each other, again most of the times not physically but emotionlly & hell it’s worst than going out with black eye or broken bones.
we are walking on each other’s nerves every minute we are together for two-bit things, jus like last monday that i kept on yelling at her all day for dyeing her hair dark brown, i love her fair hair & guess it was worth asking for my idea as well, selfish , right?! yeah it’s her hair.
the fighting topics vary from little things (like garbage i didnt put out, clothes that must be ironed, shitty nappy of the girl that should be changed ) to important matters( why her parents dont stop interfering in our life.)
one funny thing is i really enjoyed the time i spent with the girl in DC all on our own, discovering it’s not that difficult to raise a child all on yer own.
i dunno why i cant stop the devilish thought of running away with the girl to wherever crowded city in the world & live happily ever after; shit, i know it’s stupid, the idea’s jus disgustingly stupid, i didnt know i have the ability to think & act like a real shit this far; somewhere down in the creepy part of my mind there’s this nasty thought of filling for divorce & asking for the girl’s custody;if i had a fighting chance, i would give it a try.
hell i think her mom’s right, the marraige thing was the worst possible shit that could happen to such a foolish relation.
sometimes i doubt loving her anymore; it’s jus for the girl’s sake, honestly my own sake, she’s the only reason i breathe, take her away for a while & i wont hesitate blowing my mind.
dont judge, dont blame, it’s all my fault; hell it’s all my facking fault & i know it.
wish i could stop this irrational fights & put things the way it used to be. sometimes i think may be it’s normal to have fights, but i dont remember my parents ever had a little quarrel, let alone physical fights. may be they were abnormal!
better stop thinking & make some breakfast; im more lovable when i dont think at all!
aha this is one of the cases of mental rape!

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: Lady Venus is right at home in Taurus. The “pretty” is spread so thick, it would be hard to miss. Look around. There’s beauty everywhere! ARIES: Can anyone to measure up to your expectations of love this weekend? TAURUS: You’re so attractive that instead of choosing from an array of offers, you could stay home to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. GEMINI: The cyclical nature of your love life is highlighted — the end of one era is the beginning of another. CANCER: You sniff out ulterior motives and can spot a fake from a mile away. So, when it’s the real deal, you know. LEO: Your intensity is matched by the brave and free — exactly your type. VIRGO: When you stop worrying about what’s going on in your love life, it starts to become the heaven it was meant to be. LIBRA: The kindest thing to do for your ex-love/stalker is to ignore him or her until the problem goes away. SCORPIO: Savor the fun, and it just keeps coming. SAGITTARIUS: The best dates include trendy locations and novelty. CAPRICORN: You’re ready to meet the folks, or, if you’ve already met them, be accepted in a deeper way. AQUARIUS: Fellow air signs (Gemini and Libra) embrace you. PISCES: What you’re looking for is poetry in motion, and you just may find it.



  1. “i didnt know i have the ability to think & act like a real shit this far”
    there’re times even you yourself’s surprised you’re capable of a certain thing you didn’t know about, this is one of them. 😉

    i’ve no comment on the fights thing bet. married couples haven’t tried it yet maybe in a decade when i’m wiser. but hey, life has it’s phases and you both might be in one of them. like some cliche, ‘it too shall pass…’ 🙂

  2. Honey, away from the in-laws might be the wisest thing. I can’t be giving advise on marriages…..all of mine have failed. I’m too independent, too intolerant and remember for fucking ever. The Bastard and I were discussing relationships tonight. I told him that I do them well…….from afar.

  3. sandra thanks
    i was punished badly, i learned my lessons 😦 (for a while)

  4. fights and quarrels sometimes are the way to let know each other wants. You can learn from all those fights. if you face the same situation you already know the answer. *~* too wiser for a kid like me! hihi..

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