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stolen from my mailbox! 

1) I can only please one person per day.
Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not
looking good either.

2) I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing
sound as they go flying by.

3)  Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you
how to get along without it.

4)  Accept that some days you are the pigeon
and some days the statue.

5)  Never under-estimate the power of stupid
people in large groups.

6)  I don't have an attitude problem. You just
have a perception problem.

7)  Last night I lay in bed looking up to the stars
in the sky and I thought to myself, where the
heck is the ceiling?

8) My reality check bounced.

9)  On the keyboard of life, always keep one
finger on the escape key.

10)  I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

11)You are slower than a herd of turtles
stampeding through peanut butter.

12)  Everybody is someone else's weirdo.

13)  Needing someone is like needing a
parachute. If they aren't there the first time,
chances are you won't be needing them
again.

14)  Never argue with an idiot, they'll just
bring you down to their level and beat you
with experience.

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3 Comments

  1. I LOVE THOSE! I was going to give a specific number I like most,but all of them fit! 😀

  2. #11 was the best! turtle stampeding on peanut butter?! nobody ever htought of that! 😀

  3. Love quotations…


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