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there are times i hate myself, for being weak for trying to be like others, eagerly forget my goal in life. i want to cheer everyone up. when i’m sad i put on my indifference mask, people think im torpid, self-centered,apathetic creature. i hate ’em. do i have the right to hate ’em . nooooo

so i jus try to ignore’ em. let ’em think as they like, let ’em say what they want, im created for a heavenly goal, im created to ignore the materials around me, not to get involved in earthly matters, pass Lord’s ordeal, gotta be a winner in the presence of Lord. i wanna be proud of myself for doing the right thing. i try to make everyone happy no matter how it hurts, little surprises can bring lota happiness & joy. jus to know someone’s thinking about you. i really dont want much in life, i want heaven, Lord created it for us but we gotta prove that we’re good enough to taste his so many kindness. to meet the creator.

but sometimes i feel im weak, when yo udo something for someone, they become happy if oyu do it several times, they think it’s your duty. wtf! it’s not my job to cheer you up, have you ever thought that i can be sad too, i dont have a heart of stone, im a living creaure with lota feelings, dont batter me with your heavy boots & it’s not that difficult to think i need someone to love me too, to hold me when im down, im not a ladder for your improvements.

so better becareful with every step you take, watch out , you’re crushing that flower.

remember it’s not my duty to bring smile on your face when you’re sad, to surprise you with little funny stuff on special occasions, wait a second & see i have needs too, asimple thanks wont be hard & dont insult me when i have no energy left to make you happy. i will love you , i will cheer you up, but it’s not my DUTY.

PS i lost my mask, tolerate this sad look please 😦

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