thanksgiving

first happy thanksgiving, i’m straving even at 9 am.

the whole family is all together and i think i had a crush on my lil bro’s gf,

she’s such a little cute girl :-)

me & my lover were doing some light vanilla B&D, S&M plus M&M this morning (thanks heavens it was light or i wouldnt be here blogging :-)  and he read my PA (Prince Albert) post on the other blog and he said he will think about it as mychristmas gift, now thinking seriously i really dont want such things *~*

whatever, i have lots ofthings to do like hunting a turkey.

happy thanksgiving

ps: if you have no idea what PA is you can look here:

http://lastbreath.wordpress.com/2007/11/22/prince-albert-for-thanksgiving/

your savior but not Jesus

i feel his fingers running up and down my spine as if counting something, a silent lullaby for my sleepless night, unaware of the world surrounding me, i count my own breath, a replace for the sheep jumping over the fence cos recently they’re tired of jumping over anything and they gave me a warning of over-crowded fields, all will die soon cos of hunger.

thinking about the sheep i missed the seconds his hand moved a good 10 inch lower resting a finger on my butt hole, i stop pretending to be asleep just to avoid him from going any further. now i have his hand in my own, biting his fingertips, and he responds pretty quickly by biting my earlobe. i turn and sleep on my back, staring into his bluish gray eyes. i have something on my mind but im not sure he wants to hear it. sometimes i amuse myself by thinking before talking, it’s his habit not mine. i bite my lower lip to avoid words; trying to guess what his answers can be, he says i look funny when trying to keep my mouth shut. so i try harder and he smiles at me, one of those irresistible smiles i love so much, the next moment we’re kissing really hard, having our very own tongue fight and i never found out why kissing him is so different.
he let me break the kiss to catch my breath but i dont wanna continue anything.
“can we talk seriously now?” i ask him.
“we always talk seriously, don’t we?” he answers with a killing smile on his face.
me:”i’ve been thinking……..”
him:-” don’t think too much, k?”
me:” bitch, listen to me………”
him:” wait a sec, have you taken your pills?”
i close my eyes to think, have i? i dont remember.
me:” i think no.”
he gets outta bed to fetch my pills, i bite my lips very hard seeing him running to the kitchen naked, what if the little girl wakes up. i grab the blanket and run after him to the kitchen, it’s a fair deal, he has the blanket, i have my pills and then another kiss, some nights we’re boringly too romantic and it seems everything is getting worse the more we live together.
“do you think they can fix their relationship?” i ask swallowing all the water in one breath.
he sits on the table with the blanket carefully hiding his body, ” i think they should.”
me:” and what if they dont or cant?”
him:” it’s their life.”
me:” but it we must do something for them, they’re our friends.”
him:” do what? it’s their lives, not ours.”
i fill my glass again, swallowing each sip with as much as hesitation i can waste on those water drops. he strokes my hair a bit, making it messier than its natural way, “don’t think to much” he whispers in my ear.
i stare at him without saying a word, counting my own heartbeats and im not even sure about the words marching in my mind.
“im gonna talk to him seriously, i started it, i should be the one ending it.” i say at last.
he grabs my hand firmly:” you’re doing nothing than keeping your mouth shut, it’s not about you. he didn’t have a crush on you, it’s all lust but if you have a crush on him, it’s another thing to consider. ” he pauses for a few seconds before going on ” you didn’t have a crush on him, did you?”
i ‘m not sure about the answer, i keep on staring at the floor until little tears run down my eyes.
he grabs my hair and pulls it so hard i cant avoid not looking at him, “answer me? what happened between you two?”
i get up and stand infronna him,pressing his wrist as hard as i can to loosen his fingers round my hair.
” Ace, listen, i really have no idea, im so confused, things with him is very different, but i know you’re the only man i love and i wanna live with.clear?”
he puts his arms round my torso and pulls me close giving me a long kiss and we remain in the cuddling position till i hear little squeaking sounds from her bed, telling us she’d be outta her bed any second. he runs to the bedroom and i goes to her room, another bathroom trip for her.
after putting her to bed and kissing her goodnight with a short censored second bedtime story, i go back to my own bed and he’s waiting for me.
“what’s different about him?” he asks casually.
“nothing” i jump under the covers.
“do you wanna try it that way with me?” he insists on continuing our boring conversation.
“no, turn the lights off, i wanna sleep.” i hide my head behind the covers.
getting outta bed, turning the lights off and back, i can feel his hand round my neck, pretending to suffocate me if i dont talk.
“i’m choking, i’ll tell you everything.”
-” ok”
“everything, now sleep.”
-”asshole”
“i know it, thanks, good night.”
and there’s silence everywhere before i break it.
“what about talkingto both of’em tomorrow!!”
-” about what?”
“hhhmm not breaking up.”
-”why should we? it’s their relationship, private, can you understand.”
“ok, night”
after a few minutes, he breaks the silence
-” why do you want to do that?”
“i feel guilty.”
-” it has nothing to do with you, they’re swingers, they’re so used to other guys in their life, try to understand, ok?”
i take a deep breath “i understand but they’re our friends”
-” holy crap, stop being so OC, i really dont need to sleep with jesus”
im cant help myself not to laugh, probably no one wants to sleep with jesus, pretty boring i guess to be advised during the bedtime.
i kiss him on his cheek, ” ok sleep with me and keep your faith son, we’re gonna talk to them tomorrow, ok?”
-”as you like, night jesus”
“night son”
sometimes i have no idea how he tolerates me, i know i cant save myself, let alone the world im living in but i cant stop trying not to save others, probably another wrong sick incomplete gene in my brain.
i’m gonna talk to them anyway, they’re the closest frinds we have here and i still think they’re such a gorgeous couple.

check your sign

mine was very true

1. ARIES – The Liar

(the Ram – 21 March – 19 April)

* Outgoing.

* Lovable.

* Spontaneous.

* Not one to mess with.

* Funny.

* EXCELLENT kisser.

* EXTREMELY adorable.

* Loves relationships.

* Addictive.

* Loud.

2. TAURUS – The funny one

(the Bull – 20 April – 20 May)

* Aggressive.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Likes to give a good fight for what they want.

* Extremely outgoing.

* Loves to help people in times of need.

* GOOD kisser.

* GOOD personality.

* Stubborn but a caring person.

* One of a kind.

* Not one to mess with.

* Usually are the most attractive people.

3. GEMINI – Irresistible

(the Twins – 21 May – 21 June)

* Nice.

* Love is one of a kind.

* Great listener.

* Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.

* Trustworthy.

* Always happy.

* Loud.

* Talkative.

* Extremely random and proud of it.

* Outgoing.

* VERY Forgiving.

* Loves to make friends.

* Has a beautiful smile.

* Generous.

* Strong.

* The Irresistible one.

4. CANCER – The Cutie

(the Crab – 22 June – 22 July)

* Most AMAZING kisser…Very high appeal.

* Love is one of a kind.

* Very romantic.

* Most caring person you will ever meet!

* Very creative.

* Outgoing.

* Freak.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Spontaneous.

* Great at telling stories.

* Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.

* Someone you should hold on to.

5. LEO – The Lion

(the Lion – 23 July – 22 August)

* Great talker.

* Attractive and passionate.

* Laid back.

* Knows how to have fun.

* Is really good at almost anything.

* GREAT kisser.

* Unpredictable.

* Outgoing.

*Down to earth.

* Addictive.

* Attractive.

* Loud.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Talkative.

* Not one to mess with.

* Rare to find.

* Good when found.

6. VIRGO – The One that Waits

(the Virgin – 23 August – 22 September)

* Dominant in relationships.

* Someone loves them right now.

* Always wants the last word.

* Caring.

* Smart.

* Loud.

* Loyal.

* Easy to talk to.

* Everything you ever wanted.

* Easy to please.

* The one and only.

7. LIBRA – The Sexy one

(the Balance aka the scales – 23 September – 23 October)

* Nice to everyone they meet.

* THE BEST in bed

* Their Love is one of a kind.

* Fragile

* Silly, fun,funny and sweet.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Have own unique appeal.

* Most caring person you will ever meet!

* However not the kind of person you want to mess with… You might end up crying.

8. SCORPIO – The Addicted Oversexed Power Freak

(the Scorpion – 24 October – 21 November)

* EXTREMELY adorable.

*Psychotic When fucked around with

*Great in bed

* Intelligent.

* Loves to joke.

* Very good sense of humor.

* Energetic.

* GOOD kisser.

* Always get what they want.

* Attractive.

* Easy going.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Talkative.

* Romantic.

* Caring.

9. SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One

(the Archer – 22 November – 21 December)

* Spontaneous.

* High appeal.

* Rare to find.

* Great when found.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* So much love to give.

* Not one to mess with.

* Very attractive.

* Very romantic.

* Nice to everyone they meet.

* Their Love is one of a kind.

* Silly, fun and sweet.

* Have their own unique appeal.

* Most caring person you will ever meet!

* Not the kind of person you wanna mess with because you might end up crying.

10. CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover

(the Goat – 22 December – 19 January)

* Love to bust.

* Nice.

* Sassy.

* Intelligent.

* Sexy.

* Irresistible.

* Loves being in long relationships.

* Great talker.

* Always gets what he or she wants.

* Cool.

* Extremely fun.

* Loves to joke.

* Smart.

11. AQUARIUS – Does It In The Water

(the Water Bearer – 20 January – 18 February)

* Trustworthy.

* Attractive.

* GREAT kisser.

* One of a kind.

* Loves being in long-term relationships.

* Extremely energetic.

* Unpredictable.

* Will exceed your expectations.

* Not a Fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.

12. PISCES – The Partner for Life

(the Fish – 19 February – 20 March)

* Caring and kind.

* Smart.

* Center of attention.

* High appeal.

* Has the last word.

* Good to find, hard to keep.

* Fun to be around.

* Extremely weird but in a good way.

* Good Sense of Humor!!!

* Thoughtful.

* Always gets what he or she wants.

* Loves to joke.

* Very popular.

* Silly, fun and sweet

missing

honestly i’ve missed bolgging here, or blogging this way.

i was up to some very xxx-rated writings that you shouldnt read even with your parents by your side and their hands in their pants.

i missed my old friends, the traffic is great but with all the cum, hard cocks and wet pussies when reading your blog, you will feel disappointed.

and well i think i wanna start blogging this way again so i need a few updates or more than few :-D

when was the last time i blogged here?!!!! aha i remembered so here’s some updates of my kind:

1. i’m back to my beloved city of Boston, right now it’s 28F and rainy but i say it’s a lot better than alaska

2. my little alex is 2 years and 3months old, talkative, naughty and a big headache, adorable i say.

3. i’m not married anymore or i am till my divorce is final. haven’t met my ex for a week or so. and i dont care

4. i bought my own place at last, it’s not big and well it’s not so so great but it’s mine so i like it a lot.

5. alex lives with me having her own bedroom and her own friends and well her own rules, she’s the boss of the house.

6.the last 6 months was really hard for me, lots of downs and a little ups. i was so depressed i couldnt work for a while so i got sacked but well not things are

ok and i have my new job, i dont earn much but i can pay the bills at lease :-D

7. i’m not meeting any woman and i dont have any boyfriend but at least i made my mind and jumpped outta closet completely.

8. being gay is one thing and being your real self is another thing, i’m glad at last i made my mind and accepted the very natural thing about myself.

9. right now i live with my baby girl and partner. honestly it wasnt love at first fright but i was madly in love with him and unfortunately things get worse as time goes by.

10. i cant say much about him here cos he will read what i say and i will be punished. all i can say is that at last i found my soul-mate. he’s very understanding or at least he has no problem with me and my mental problem. he likes me being weird.

11. the one thing i really want is getting my divorce, i cant wait to marry him. (crazy right?!!)

12. two months and 10 days ago me and my partner exchanged rings and since then i’m wearing my ring 24-7, something never happened to my wedding ring.

13. i can say i am enjoying my life, and it will be better when i have Alex’s custody. i know one thing, i really want to be her dad and i want her badly and her mom doesn’t want her, so no problem left

14. it’s hard to be gay and a parent and more than that have BD. every time i feel really down i cant stop thinking of losing her.

but i have a wonderful lover and i know i can count on him.

15. my little girl officially lives with me for nearly 2 months and she loves her two dads, so we’re gonna be  a good family but i know she needs a woman in her life and her mom doesn’t want to be that woman. spo i keep on searching and i have found some eager moms to help me.

16. i think that was enough for a start after so long. i need time to keep my other blog updated :-)