So……

notice:the blogger(’s mind) was poisoned…….
This month is over, not yet. A few more hours & it’d probably be over.
another august, passed, gone, finished & dumped in my memories. i never liked august cos it’s followed by september, month of schools. there’s no school anymore for me, or at least im old enough to decide whether to go or not, or am i?
i was always terrified of getting stuck at school forever, i never dreamed to become a teacher, im not really good at transferring the data in my brain to some else’s brain via cable or whatever, so nobody asked me to do that job, but i realized im still at school , im still student and dunno why but im still in the very frist years, seems i failed without noticing. i have no idea who’s the teacher but i know he’s a very strict guy that hates me not.
& again, it’s the end of august, tomorrow’s the first day of september, a start for lots of people & surely me. my teacher tried to teach me many things, i did learn a bit & there are more. he took many exams & i guess i failed in many of them, but i have to wait for years till i can see my report card.
this august  was different from other month, i experienced many new things, but … errrr dunno how to finish this sentence. never mind when you let your fucking ego type whatever crap it wants then everything turns like above.
conclusion: my lunch time’s over & i wanna get back to work, another month finished & it means im a month older & approached my birthday, yippeee??!! or  may be not. i like ER months, septembER,OctobER,novembER, decembER & then comes winter, my favorite season of all year, christmas, snow, hollidays, & then spring, im dying to see next spring with all the flowers & green trees that’s followed by summer, then again august, ouch dumbass ego get outta my mind.
so……, “So” is my popular word used when wife talked over hours & i’ve lost all my logics,feeling numb & dizzy , the wisest word i can use is “SO” that leads to another 2-3 hours talking or just the lovely sentence of ” you weren’t listening, d’aaahhhh, im not gonna repeat ‘em again”. the next word in my mind would be” thanks”.
no this post wont lead to anywhere, i cant control the flue?!? or flow of my mind. this month’s not yet finish & i can still feel the so many up & downs it is giving me but if i spend a few more seconds my boss gonna kill me with a paper clip.
while chatting with a guy i barely know (ouch i talked to strangers, oh sorry mom), he insisted that im a FEmale, this morning i didnt have time to take a look at myself  in the mirror but now im not really sure what i am, guess im losing my mind or maybe something worst. i feel like being lost not.
ooooouuuuccchh, gotta go back to work, eeerrr i thought wp was filtered at work, why it loaded then?!?!??!*~*
so to end this month, today i realized why i couldnt join army, i promise not next month would be better.

now playing: BJ’s Everyday
“Joining the Army”
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son had an announcement to make: He’d just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.
“Oh, come on, quit pulling our legs,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?” “I’m positive you’d never get through basic training,” scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help; but she was just gazing at him.When she finally spoke, it was to voice a single question. “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”

“Men Are Just Happier People”

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he/she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes-one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache…
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Governmentium

A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science.

The new element has been named
“Governmentium. ” Governmentium has
1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These particles are held together by forces
called Morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of Lepton-like particles
called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it
is inert. However, it can be detected, as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium causes 1 reaction to take
over 4 days to complete, when it would
normally take less than a second.

GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal 1/2-life of
4 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’ s
mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons
to become Neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads
some scientists to believe that Governmentium
is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass!”

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
becomes Administratium- -an element which
radiates just as much energy, since it has
1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

little secret place

everything she has, is so small,  a XXXXsmall creature, small hands, small feet, small clothes, small nose, small ears but big eyes, seems she’s videotaping everything with them & her little mouth & tiny lips ready to taste whatever new on her way. sometimes i spend hours watching her playing with her little toys. sometimes i cant believe this little small amazing creature is mine. sometimes she spends a while looking at me and wondering :”that huge creature is mine, he’s gonna gimme a ride round the room if i smile at him & give him a little kiss.” she’s so genius in her little way.
and this little creature has her own little home, a big box where she can sit, stand and play there. her little place, her shelter,her throne, a place no one can enter without her permission, somewhere to fall asleep while mom & dad are talking, somewhere to hide .
like many other small babies, alex has her own box, we gave it to her on her first birthday & it’s such a comfy place for playing & spreading with little tiny toys that mom never let her scatter in the living-room.
so the other day i was sitting on the floor trying to solve some financial problems with my calculator, when someone knocked on the door, a little chat & i forgot everything i was doing & went to kitchen to have dinner. the next day i couldnt find my calculator & some of my papers. i thought wife’s put ‘em on my desk but she hasnt. i spend a while looking for my lost things but couldnt find it.
yesterday afternoon i was dozing off on the sofa, when i felt someone walking on my lap. there’s only one person in our house with that little size. i had a terrible day full of stomachaches & with so many painkillers i took ,i felt a bit dizzy & not really feeling like playing. but the girl is as stubborn as her dad, she wont give up till she gets what she wants, so after taking a few unstable steps, she thought of pulling hair, at least she could make me open my eyes for a while. omg it was one of her bad days, she wanted to be naughty, her mom was out shopping & her lazy dad didnt want to play. a good girl would stop bothering her dad & play with her toys, but alex aint a good little girl, she’s my little demon. so it was time for punishment, she used her only & worst torturing instrument, her ugly bald doll. once you make her angry, she starts to hit you with her ugly beloved doll, not once or twice, she hits you till her last breath. so i had no chance to win the unfair fight. on to the floor waiting for her to sit, like an experienced cowboy she jumped on her sassy disobedient horse. sometimes i wonder why i let her do things like this to me, i think im spoiling her. so after a few rounds, i put her down & let her run triumphantly around the room. then she went straight to her box & after a few minutes came out with my lost papers & calculator, seems it was my gift for being a good dad. well my papers were not readable anymore cos they’ve been wadded, torn, chewed & some parts digested in her little stomach but it seems she didnt have enough time to do any harm to the calculator. i was wondering whatelse she has there but i cant go there without her permission so that means i have to give more rides today, alas.
today’s ponder:”The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.”
- Shirley MacLaine

chain killer

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
i have tones of things in my mind and have no time for writing it, shiititttt.
i love tight schedules but i really want others to ask my idea as well, is it really that hard to call me one day earlier and tell me all the horrible plans to ruin my day.
*****
when i was a little boy whenever someone asked me what i wanted to do when grow up. i answered ” i wanna be a professional chain killer”.
it took me a while to figure out there’s not such a career, and learn the word “serial killer”.
i didnt have the chance to become a serial killer till now but at the moment i have the potential of being a “chain killer”.
STOP CALLING ME, IM COMING!

“15 Inspirational (?) Ideas”

“15 Inspirational (?) Ideas”

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having
meetings; they did it by killing all those who
opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is
chaos… then you probably haven’t completely
understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the
job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen
times gives you job security.

4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get
sucked into jet engines.

5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural
Stupidity

6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity…
probably has a scapegoat.

7. Plagiarism saves time.

8. TEAMWORK…means never having to take
all the blame yourself.

9. The beatings will continue until morale
improves.

10. Never underestimate the power of very
stupid people in large groups.

11. We waste time, so you don’t have to.

12. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look
like an incompetent slacker.

13. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

14. Succeed in spite of management.

15. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid
Disappointment.

Aanaq

several days ago, i read this on the front page of a newspaper:
Alma Temple, “Aanaq”, celebrated her 94th birthday on August 19, 2006 with her family and close friends who brought gifts of food for her birthday feast. Originally from Napakiak, she was born in 1912 in the old camp called Qamuryaraq.
well i wasnt invited, so i forgot it like many other things. i never buy any newspaper here cos there aint much to read, nothing interesitng, nobody killed, no wrecks, i dunno why i never hear of plane crashes, may be one day it happens, if ever heard of such a news, be sure i was in that plane.
the interesting thing about this old lady is she has seen her great-great-great grandchildren, that’s 5 generations. i really dont wanna live that long, 94 years is too much for me. i jus wanna live till i see my baby girl (& the future baby) has her own life as perfectly as possible.
i was thinking about the so many relations alex doesnt have. she has no aunts, no cousins but she has 2 crazy uncles (my brothers), a granny, a grandpa and a great-grandma. not to mention she has a very cool parents (specially dad!). -smto at my wife!-
i’ve thought about my grandma many times recently, i have many good memories, i still remember some of the tales she told me when i was a little boy and the many times i begged my parents to let me stay with her for a few days and they refused. the funny thing is i lived in boston for 5-6 years and i never stayed with my granny, even those times i had no where to go. i didnt invite her to my wedding, i didnt call her after her recovery & i havent told her many things about my life. the woman i admired all my childhood, the nice lady who let me sleep by her side and told me many exciting tales i could never find in any book, now is a total stranger to me. i cant forgive myself for waiting for a call of her death all last week, i really dunno why i was waiting for her death. im sure i wont bother myself traveling to Ma for her funeral cos i dont have the money and i wont inherit a cent. may be it’s because i dont want her to suffer from illness, she always told me it’s better to die than lying sick in bed for a long time.
the more i think, the more i love her. she supported me in many ways. she stood on my side though she knew i was wrong. i cant remember how many times she encouraged me to finish my university. im sure if she hadnt help me, i wouldnt have the life i have now. i was too foolish to try to forget her, ignore her, throw her outta my life. i cant deny the many times i asked my creator why he took my parents and let her and many old people live, doing nothing but wasting the tax me and many others pay.
last week was a horrible time for me and many of my family members. i fucked up my life in a way i couldnt believe but fortunately i learned a few lessons, i try my best not to let such shits happen again. i realized how many good friends i have. i spent long hours thinking about my parents, in the end i couldnt sleep a minute cos i could smell burning fuel in my dreams. it’s still so hard for me to write about them the way i like, but im sure one day im gonna do it and that’s when i can forgive myself.
to conclude all these random thoughts. my only and best friend in life is my wife, she’s the only one who can listen to me without breaking my head after 5 minutes. im gonna call my granny next morning. im gonna do the shopping, chop some woods, buy a trout, wash the car, fix mixer……oooopppps that’s my to-do-list for this weekend.
have a nice friday , that’s enough for tonight, i better go to bed again.

recipe for burned jam

ingredients:
10-15 peaches (when stoned it weighs around 1.1 kg  )
1 kg sugar
1 pot
1 stove (you can make fire if you are robinson crusoe)
1 naughty kid
1 pair of parents
several worms in a yard

first you have to buy peaches, then wash ‘em , put ‘em in the fridge, then eat some of them to test the taste
then turn on the tv, (you can do it without watching tv) stone the peaches. to stone a peach you have to use a knife, cut a vertical circle round the peach then halve it, use your fingers to take out the pit. after that chop each peach to 5-6 parts. (you can remove the skin if you like). when finished with all those peaches, put ‘em in a mixer and crush it. then put the mix in a pot, add sugar, turn on the stove and get outta kitchen. now it’s time for playing. first you gotta make sure mom’s not around, then take your baby girl/boy to the yard, dig a hole and pour some water and wait, in a few minutes you can see some earthworm saying hello. then pick up 2-3 worms and put ‘em on a big leaf, time for stories. at this time probably mom would come and you can ask her to join. as soon as the game’s finished, mom’s gonna run to the kitchen and then you can hear her yelling. well now your burned jam’s ready, put it in several jars and then into the fridge. if you dont have a fridge, dont worry. put the jars in the hole you dug, winter’s coming.

a few steps to salvation

what is salvation? aint it something we seek all our lives? so outta reach yet so close?
ain’t salvation a kind of realization? realization about where we have to go, why we are created, who our creator is.
human is a simply complicated creature, something with lots of capabilities, to be worst than a beast or to be better than an angel. we have seen both sides of our own nature cos we are not pure. we go through 3 simple steps: born, live, die. nobody remember where he/she was before stepping on this planet, did we exist or it was just the 9 months living in our moms’ body? it looks quite like a parasite, living in someone’s body to begin life, then what a sordid creature we are.
ok we’re born the next step is living, we can continue our parasite life forever or try to have our own home. and then it’s death. the mysterious, dreadful, sad ending of our lives. but is it the end or it’s jus a begining of another journey?
im not a religious person, never was. but i think before landing on this planet we had lives , i dont mean as sperms and eggs, but in another world, may be there we did different things and then according to our deeds we get different parents, end of one journey and start of the other, then it’s planet earth, the thing we remember, we live to die. how many times we’ve thought about death? how many times we wished for it? how many times we want it for another guys? (i dont mean wishing someone death cos they hurt you, wishing a dear one death cos you dont want them to suffer more)
then we’re dead and probably starting another journey, to where? i dunno. but there must be places like hell and heaven for the Creator to show us how fair he is. Cos we had many unfair moments in our lives that weren’t a consequence of our own deeds.
supposing hell and heaven exist, then we need salvation, as greedy as we are created we want the best, who really wanna go to hell? so back to salvation, a way to be good to gain better. but where is it?
it’s not so far, jus a few steps, open your eyes, aha that little smile on your lips to ease a child, a little help to that old lady living a few blocks away to carry her shoppings, it’s so near, may be too near to be seen. i dunno why some guys have to go round the world to realize that their treasure was buried at home. foolishly i had to meet death closely several times, drive many people crazy, bring tears to many eyes to realize if i want salvation, it’s around the corner. it’s so simple, just try to be good, do good and DONT BREAK HER HEART AGAIN!
note: im in complete health of mind not at all depressed, nothing bipolar nor ocd, and i think i have the right to write some of my thoughts some times to show i wasnt born a jerkass, education ruined me

flu, i love you

first of all gotta say there’s something wrong with wp cos im sure my last post had something as a text and as far as i know though my puter & internetconnection suck, there’s nothing wrong with them.
secondly seems this month is not a good blogging month for me , so many days without posting.
i had a few drafts but they are deleted cos they were anti-social, anti-boss and…..
lastly im sick as hell, this sore throat is killing me, there’s no end to these coughs and sniffs and i have no voice to talk,hhhhhmmmm clearing my throat, gotta thank my granny for getting better and going home, at last she ended my nightmares. well actually i wasnt paying for the hospital and other stuff but i was tired of jumping 10 ft every time phone rang and waiting for death news.
note: you dumbass idiots never call someone early mornings specially at weekends to jus say you are bored and want a little chat with someone, may be the one you called is asleep, sick or dead!
cough cough cough,sniffffffffff, shit it’s so hard to focus on what you wanna write when you are blank as hell, cant sleep , cant breathe and your temperature’s above normal, to be accurate you have fever.

gotta thank my beloved wife for paying so much attention to me, her soups are delicious, im gonna ask for the recipe when i get well. *~*
the little demon’s a bit mad at her dad cos he’s been a very bad boy recently and hasnt played with her, i love her when she looks at you angrily say something in her own language (probably something like dumb@ss or @sshole, not yet figured) and then goes to her mom.
jebus, this shitty flu’s killing me, time for bed
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Engineering Bill”

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, “This is where your problem is.”
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark $1
Knowing where to put it $49,999.

“When WWIII Started – 1979″

How Many Dogs Does It Take?

not in the mood of blogging, jus dunno what to write, so let’s jus fuck with those stupid creatures called “dogs”
hey you coward animal-lovers, im not stupid, im silly!

Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
Rotweiler: Make me!
Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls.
Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I’m not afraid of the dark…
Doberman: While it’s out, I’ll just take a nap on the couch.
Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!
Chihuahua: Tu quiero Taco Bulb?
Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs –people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?
Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring
the house, my nails will be dry.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives
ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

what a serendipity!

lying on the bed with eyes wide open and runnig his fingers through her hair, he tried to remember what had really happened. another attempt all in vein, he tried to pull her closer, now holding her in his arms and touching her soft skin. she was sound asleep, so innocent she looked, so quiet, not a little smile nor a cry. he closed his eyes ,listened to her heartbeat and tried to forget everything.
***********
in the last 60 hours or more i was so lost in my nothingness inside that i felt it’s decades since i blogged. i have reviewed my life hundred times ( it’s so easy to review cos it’s so simple, always fucked up! ). honestly nothing new to be discovered. jus gotta thank my so many abilities in turning life to a real hell for others in a flash of light.
it’s so horrible to be left alone, everywhere’s so silent, so terrifying, so empty.
i cant believe i made her so furious that she left me, im jus lucky our friends are so kind that they didnt let her stay more than a day or something really bad might happen ( for instance me killing them or something like that)
but honestly it wasnt too bad, at least i realized there aint much meaning in my life without them (i knew it!) and i had plenty of time to think, to compare myself with my own dad. the more i think the more unreal my memories sound. they’re long forgotton, so vague to be sure if it was really like that. i jus cant remember a single time my parents had an argument, it’s so unreal, so unpossible, more like a mirage. but there was something between them that i never understood, and i know it doesnt exist in my own life. it’s not really important how they lived, now, the image they left in my memory is so clearly lovely that i cant believe it wasnt really like that.
i know im not a good dad nor a good husband, jus a real bitch who’s lost in his own nightmares, dreaming of having a one happy family, so no need to be reminded.
jus a question to be answered and i can let my mind rest in ease for a while
” how can we make a lovely image of past for the future of our kids?”

about the picture:” last evening we went out to collect some salmonberries, after an hour or so nothing was in our bucket, alex was still running wildly here and there, sometimes falling on the ground, looking at her ignorant parents then back to her feet and running again. me and meg jus talked and talked and talked and sometimes looked at the little demon chasing whatever she could. as far as those talks were not really friendly we decided to go back home, on our way we met Louise who gave us some fuckingberries so we wouldnt feel disappointed with our empty bucket. at the moment the white flag’s still hanging in our place but for how long, i have no idea!”

Salmonberry,Cloudsberry, Yellowberry, Bakeberry, Malka, or Baked Apple Berry (species Rubus chamaemorus), creeping herbaceous plant, native to the Arctic and subarctic regions of the north temperate zone, and its edible, aggregatefruit resembling structurally the raspberry. The yellow or amber-coloured berry grows from a 2.5-centimetre (1-inch) white flower on a creeping rootlike stem, or rhizome. The stalks grow to a height of 7.6–25 cm (3–10 inches).
Eskimos and Sami collect the sweet, juicy berries in autumn to freeze for winter food. In markets of northern Scandinavia, cloudberries are sold for use in preserves, tarts, and other confections. They are also made into a liqueur.
**************
i know this post sucks so better have a little chuckle.
Don’t Look At Naked Lady
Boy 1 : Why do you run from a naked lady ?

Boy 2 : Because my mom said that if I look at a naked lady, I’ll turned into stone. A part of me is getting hard already.

http://lastbreath.files.wordpress.com/2006/08/louise.jpg
louise.jpg

the world in my dreams

“Dreaming of the person you want to be is wasting the person you already are.”
- Kurt Cobain

no more vital signs, tedious silence, bloody knife, deadly sins,deafening sirens, bombs, balliistic missiles, deaths, murders, cries…………

STOP

cease fire, white flag, appointments, shaking hands, closed doors, secret chambers, fake peace

ruins, dirt, loss, orphans, depression, aggression, haterd, revenge, psychos

an island, luxurious house, black limo, pool, spa, empty bottles, used syringe

bars, casinos, dancing clubs, rap, punk, x, lsd, hero,booze, dates, sex

it’s a foolish life, we’re lost in our dreams, dreaming to dream of a better life, the slaves of technolgy, we think the way we ought to, seeking for happiness and never finding it, ignoring little happy moments to look for better opportunities.

we live in hell but trying to buy heaven though we dont know its meaning.

sick people living their sick lives in this big dirty sick planet, trying to seek sick ways to ease their sick minds.

im sick of this bloody sick world, better then the lights off and dream of something new.

Left-handers day

i didnt know there’s such a day in calender, it’s so funny.

i was quite surprised when i got an e-card from meg, make me wonder when she sent it.

so apparently there’s such a funny silly day, i thought it ‘d be cool to cut some part of her card.

happy left-handers day to me.

“The Passing of a Friend”

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved
old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for
sure how old he was since his birth records
were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated
such valuable lessons as knowing when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and
maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don’t spend more than
you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after
lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents
attacked teachers for doing the job they
themselves failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer
Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a
student – but could not inform the parents
when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the
Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses, and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in
your own home and the burglar can sue
you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to
live after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled
a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded
a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by
his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know
My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and
I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because
so few realized he was gone.

http://whyihatemyhusband.com

dead tired

alex celebrated her first birthday this afternoon, i am hell tired. bbq in alaska was a terrible idea!

Why Dogs and Cats are Better than Men

last night i was checking my mails & among ‘em was a funny one. i know its another sign of my own stupidity, but i think it’d be ok after a wise post ( actually when i finished typing the last one i realized my ability to write a bit like angry aussie in my own way, luckily that was one of the few sparks of my talents and there wont be many posts about work in this place cos i dont feel as secure as other guys.this is dedicated to all the women who hates me.

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
3. Dogs look at your eyes.
4. Dogs aren’t threatened by a woman with short hair.
5. Dogs feel guilt when they’ve done something wrong.
6. Dogs don’t feel threatened by your intelligence.
7. Dogs understand what “no” means.
8. Dogs don’t brag about whom they have slept with.
9. Dogs do not play games with you — except fetch and they never laugh at how you throw.
10. Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you’re together.
11. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
12. Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
13. Dogs are nice to your relatives.
14. Dogs don’t mind if you do all the driving.
15. Dogs don’t step on the imaginary brake.
16. Dogs admit it when they’re lost.
17. Dogs don’t weigh down your purse with their stuff.
18. Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
19. Dogs aren’t threatened if you earn more than they do.
20. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
21. You are never suspicious of your dog’s dreams.
22. You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
23. You can train a dog.
24. You can force a dog to take a bath.
25. Middle-aged dogs don’t feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
26. Gorgeous dogs don’t know they’re gorgeous.
27. The worst social disease you can get fromdogs is fleas. (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there’s a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gave it to you.)
28. A Cat always hits the litterbox.
29. Better chance of training a Cat.
30. No matter what your Cat drags into your house, you don’t have to pretend you like it.
31. You never have to spend time with your Cat’s mother.
32. If you ask enough times, a Cat may actually listen to you.
33. A Cat purrs when you serve him dinner.
34. You can de-claw a Cat… try to get aguy to clip his toenails.
35. It’s okay if a Cat rubs up against your best friend.
36. You don’t have to worry about your Cat turn into a pig when you host a party.
37. A Cat knows you’re the key to his happiness… a man thinks he is.
38. If a Cat jumps into your lap, a little light petting will satisfy him.
39. more importantly, you know none of the above things is true or at least about me.
40. it’s time to take your cats and dogs out and shoot them so no one dare to compare them with you, hihihihi

about the pic , it’s all drawn with chalks on a side walk.

Useful Work Phrases

in correspondence to this post from angry aussie, i think some guys need my advices as well.
1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
3. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
8. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
9. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable … Time to up my medication.
17. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
18. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message …
19. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Can’t you find enough reason to hang yourself, compare your talents with a donkey, then.
27. Don’t argue with me, i know i am right.
28. I can start my golf lessons, after my promotion.
29. People are nice to you because you look wiser than your other psycho friends.
30.Call me whenever you like, my cellphone is off 24 hours

walking on dad’s footprints

some time, some where
walking aimlessly again, how many times should he walk from milk st. to Common, enter his favorite studio 25, order nothing, stare at the happy drunk people and leave?
just another bus, to where? no idea.
down the stairs, 1,2,3…… deeper, darker. standing at the station waiting for the train, to where? who cares!
changing lines with the hope of getting lost, loud music, strangers, lights, darkness, stop, out.
aimless as usual, another ride round the town, seeking for keys, in.
dark & cold as usual, what a place to live, it’s passed midnight, lights on, some one’s yelling again “yo mothafcuker turn that light off”, sitting on the sofa, an open bottle, a burning cigarette, many  open I.E. pages & on again to surf the net & peep into chatrooms…..
4 hours chat, nothing gained, out again, they’re cleaning their bar, “hey, we’re closed”. wtf, jus a quick drink…. no idea when he was back home, clock ringing brutally, shiiittttt late again for morning class.
weekend the same place
a silent river going through an old city, so many wars it witnessed, now another zombie walking by its side, it’s jus another weekend, make-up, booze, smokes, dont remember when where & with whom, headaches, puke, blood, shit & another week to begin…..

another time, another place
coffee, butter, cabbage, carrot, chocolates, washing powder, milk…. all bought.
quick paces leading to a specified place, jus a push and the door’s wide open, some one’s singing somewhere, hot coffee and hot bath, smell of blue berry in the air and piles of small toys here and there….
“Ted watches them laughing at each other’s disguise
then jumps up shouting ‘pumpkin surprise’ “
end of the story but two little shining eyes are still wide open, not at all trying to pretend she’s asleep, so what’s next?! may be a daddy-ride can help.
the clock strokes 12 times, still everyone’s awake. puter on, checking mails as usual.
lights off, neat warm comfy bed, pillows with the smell of cleanliness, no blood no puke. sometimes wet with her tears, hurt of his endless stupidity. kissing good night & sweet dreams…
no matter who makes it, the next morning breakfast’s ready by 8.
no desperate lonely moment anymore, there’s happiness where ever she step her little feet.
weekend same place
washing, ironing, playing and walking by the river, cold roaring water , giving life to the nature that’s frozen half of the year, witnessing the struggle of humans to survive……
whistle of a far train in my dreams, next station’s not hell anymore, there’s light, there’s hope, there’s life.
a vague picture of a quiet crowded bar with hopeless miserable guys, a clear image of a running lively kid in birch hill.
so far, yet so close. so horrible, yet so lovely. so vague, yet so clear. born, live, die. a repeated cycle in nature, but it’s important how we live, we’re born to love, not to hate, make peace, stop wars……………….
eeerrrrr better stop thinking, gotta take the garbage out, wash the dishes , give a free ride to alex & get outta wife’s sight. i cant believe i made her cry again, jesus, what a jerkass! thanks God for giving her such a big heart to forgive.

challenge of the weekend: bake a cake for alex for stepping on this planet for a year

note: when i was walking home, a frog hit me with a fly & a mosquito ran over me & a pigeon empty its bowles on my head & a brick fell down on my toe (thought houses here are made of wood!!!???) & the story goes on…………..
so i miss my in-laws, my boss’ hell furious at me, my neighbor doesnt wanna see me (as a lucky boy i am, my neighbor is my boss *~*), my granny’s still in hospital & i have reserved a place in sanatarium for next month, sleep tight, im out haunting something………..
ooooppppsss emergency wife shout, babe, im coming, i didnt know our garbage bin loves me that much…..

caution: this post was written last night but im posting it tonight & the only crying human here is me, snifffff, as you can see it’s “birch Hill”, we went there a few days ago jus for fun.

“Brain Surgery”

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the
waiting room, where their family member
lay gravely ill. Finally, the Doctor came in
looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I’m the
bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed
the worried faces.

“The only hope left for your loved one at this
time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental
procedure, semi-risky and you will have to
pay for the brain yourselves.”

The family members sat silent as they
absorbed the news. After a great length
of time, someone asked, “Well, how much
does a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for
a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.”

The moment turned awkward. Men in the
room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact
with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted
out the question everyone wanted to ask,
“Why is the male brain so much more?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence
and so to the entire group said, “It’s just
standard pricing procedure. We have to mark
down the price of the female brains, because
they’ve actually been used.”

a day with keith or do you wanna know why im nuts?!

the other day i was thinking about the real identities of my favorite bloggers, surely i dunno them but those who know me can recognize my crap in a second, jus like my cousin. i still wonder how she found here. now it’s wife & cousin, god knows how many other relatives know about here. hope my in-laws never find here cos of the many times i bitched about them (read im gonna bitch…..).
so who’s keith?! well im sure many people know, you jus need to receive my comment once or read the “about” page. yep it’s me. do i like that name?! i dunno, it’s jus fine.
so are you sure you wanna live a day with keith? i can assure you it’s not much interesting.
omg, why am i so sleepy?

my excitement’s over now & i jus realized what a big shit i did last sunday. it was so like hellboy. i jus fucked up. God …….(some omitted verb) my cousin, now i feel like killing her, should she really had to say such things?!?!
aha i was supposed to write about one of my days, which day you wanna hear about?
wont it sounds like happychick if i talk about my friends?!!!!
let’s talk about monday, it was 7th of august, today’s august 8th so what’s the difference?! no idea.
honestly i dunno what am i writing about, i forgot to take my pills this morning.
yesterday i was so happy, feeling like a million bucks ;now reviewing all the news for the umpteenth times, i jus understand the depth of my misery.
let’s talk about monday again. i went to hospital with meg cos my knee hurt like hell (it still does). for some reason that’s hell private, my wife decided to be nice to me for a short while, so she shared her secret. as far as i know husband/wife is someone we hide our secrets from .i was so excited hearing her little secret that i was happy for almost 1.5 days (you saw the happiness, right?!)
the news is………………………………..
really wanna know?????????
&&&&&
you gotta wait……
%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%
%%%%
%%
%
are you ready?!
close your eyes & make a wish.
!
@
$
did it?! sure?
******
****
***
**
*
you’re gonna be dead in a day or two, yohahahahahah! now count till 1546525643641

done?!?!

scroll down?!

ok are you dying to know?!?!?

not yet?!
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13, 13th is alex’s birthday, am i prepared?! nahhh
lemme continue
14
15
……
bored?!
ooooookkkkk
here’s the news……
&&(^&&^#$$(*&^%$&$%
got it?!
why are you looking at me like that?!?!
hey, what’s in your hand?!?!
omg put that rifle down……….
ouccchhhh
you missed.
ok the news is…. we’re gonna have another baby in 8 months time,
omg omg aint that too great……
im jus feeliong so so so so so so so so so outta this world
&%%%%%********************#### $$$$$$$
fainted…………
i need a while to recover!

secretive

tending or liking to hide your thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. from other people

am i secretive?

am i secretive?

am i secretive?

am i secretive?

am i secretive?

am i secretive?

NOPEEEEEEEEEE, im dying to share something.

would i, could i………….?!

upside down

the other day i was thinking about why i changed my signing name.
“not hellboy anymore”!!!hhhmmm cos i dont feel like being hellboy anymore, im too happy to be a hellboy, i dont want that name. God colored my empty life with so many blessings that i dont wanna act like jerkass anymore.
it’s weird but every night as i close my eyes i pray to Lord to keep my family safe & gimme another day to live, i wanna be the first to say hi to sun the next morning, to see my baby girl smiling, to say ” i love you” once again to my dear wife.
may be it sounds stupid, may be it doesnt sound like me but i love my life. im still as energetic & crazy as i was 10 years ago, but i prefer to use my energy for better things, for better means.
aha there’s something extremely cool & new in my life but im not really ready to share it with everyone, but remind me to tell you in 5-6 months time, hihihhihi

“im a dominant gene live as i die
never say forever cos forever’s a lie
stop that horrible endless sigh
cos you’re the one who’s falling high”

you’re a Dynamic Bartender

Hey there, bartender, is it any wonder people love to open up to you and ask your opinion? You’ve got the most dynamic personality around. Whether you need to give sage advice to a broken heart or mix things up, you’ve got the imagination, wit, and heart to do it all.

You’re as happy as can be when you’re the center of attention, with everyone calling your name. People, action, new experiences — you crave to enjoy the world around you and learn as much as you can. We’ll take another round!