fight ogre with ogre

just close your eyes

listen to the silence inside

no chance to escape

from the one-eyed ogre inside your mind

in the inner part of your soul

im sure there’s a very giant hole

that’s how that ogre found his way in

i told you before but you couldnt see

now there’s no hope

there’s no way back

all doors are shut

but you can still run

fight for your life

with that ogre chasing you

then one day you might realize

you were running in loops

where there’s no begining but an end

i know there’s a cliff in the end

but never had the chance to stand there

now i jus wanna ask you a simple question

“after running all your life,

trying to get rid of that ogre,

what do you feel when falling down

and the truth that the ugly frightening ogre

was jus an image of yourself in a broken mirror?”

this means im really nuts!

???, you keep secrets about your Finances

They say money can’t buy happiness, and that seems to ring true for you. Whether you have a mountain of debt or are sitting on a giant nest egg, you’re certainly not going to email your bank statements around. Your money is your business, and there’s no reason to involve other people, even if they nose around for more information.

Borrow a few bucks for lunch? Let someone pick up the tab? Not you — you know that nothing will ruin a friendship quicker than those precious greenbacks. So whether you’re a long lost Hilton heir or the next Trump, it’s not like you’d tell us. Way to keep them guessing! (sorta true)

& im sick of seeing these things!

mutation

an alteration in the genetic material of a cell that is transmitted to the cell’s offspring. Mutation may be spontaneous (the result of accidents in the replication of genetic material) or induced by external factors (e.g., electromagnetic radiation and certain chemicals).

Mutations take place in the genes, which are found in the long, chainlike molecules of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). The backbone of the DNA chain is composed of alternating sugar and phosphate groups. Protruding from each sugar group is oneof four nitrogenous bases: adenine (A), guanine(G), thymine (T), or cytosine (C). Structurally, each DNA molecule consists of two entwined chains, linked together by bonds between the bases of one chain and those of the other. An A is always bonded to a T, and every G is paired with a C; the result is that the sequence of bases in the two strands is complementary.
no continue!

anti-idiot rules or jus simply get a grip man!

lotta things went trough my hollow brain in the last few hours, i was hell mad at myself but fortunately contorlled myself not to write a word till im completely calm.
now i dont really know what i wanna write about. i hate being judged by the foolish crap i write, worst than that i hate start to judge myself in a court where im judge & jury & executioner too & surely the con.
though the angry aussie gave lotta rules on different things, he didnt gave any hint on not being a jerkass. so i beter do it myself.
rule #1. all humans are created dumbass, it’s a hidden dominant gene. but it needs a good atmosphere to appear, so you better dont put yourself in such situations
rule #2. dont run & jump & walk on people’s nerves, jus trying to sound nice.
rule #3. get your fucking ass outta places marked “none of your business”
rule #4. mind your own business, can you?
rule #5. dont act like wise guys, people will ask for your help when they really need your advices.
rule #6. dont make an ass of yourself to sound funny or attract attentions.
rule #7. think before opening your mouth, there’s not much use thinking later when you said things you shouldn’t.
rule #8. never offend people & then think of a way to apologize
rule #9. some guys jus inherit genes to be fuckwits (like me), you can never change them.
rule #10. you’re not funny, shut your fucking mouth up.
conclusion: i just cant believe i hurted someone’s feeling, i didnt really mean it, surely it wasnt my first time & wont be the last. im so sorry to those guys who feel sorta offended by my comments, seems im not funny at all. guess i better shut up my mouth for a while & dont open it till i have something worth hearing. i do appologize again.

Translating Men

“No! Much more better. It is a *drawing* of a key.” Jack sparrow

while talking to wife the other day, i reallized whenever i use “we” i mean “i” but when ever she uses “we” she means “you” so i thought someone had to translate what men are really saying. :-p
“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand,while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“Let’s take your car.”
Really means….
“Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.”
“I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”
Really means….
“As long as it’s not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means….
“Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really means….
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response like Pavlov’s dog drooling.
“Good idea.”
Really means….
“It’ll never work. And I’ll spend the rest of the day gloating.”
“Have you lost weight?”
Really means….
“I’ve just spent our last $300 on a cordless drill.”
“I’m getting more exercise lately.”
Really means….
“The batteries in the remote are dead.”
“We’re going to be late.”
Really means….
“Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac, even though I don’t need one.”
“Hey, I’ve read all the classics.”
Really means….
“I’ve been subscribing to Playboy since 1972.”
“You cook just like my mother used to.”
Really means….
“She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too.”
“I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind.”
Really means….
“I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.”
“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
Really means….
“I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“That’s interesting, dear.”
Really means….
“Are you still talking?”
“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.”
Really means….
“I forgot our anniversary again.”
“You expect too much of me.”
Really means….
“You want me to stay awake.”
Now that i’ve explained men, is it really that hard to understand moi?
note: those guys who think they have nothing to do this weekend, they better go watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest  ; it’s quite boring but funny enough to waste 150 minutes for it.
caution: dont take your little babies, they really dont like the movie & wont let you enjoy it much. (personal experience)
Plot Outline: Jack owes an unpaid debt to Davy Jones and his army of sea-phantoms…his soul. Now, he must find a way to save himself from becoming one of them, and suffering forever.

a bit of correction & a big huge thanks

The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.”
- Walt Whitman

things i know: i dont chat at work, blog ….. cos 1. i love my job 2. im busy 3. i cant :-p
things i try to understand: 1. why i waste my time by puter than playing with alex 2. why me & meg been ignoring each other 3. why i cant keep a balance between my income & expenditures 4. why am i so bored and boring.
firstly a bit of correction to last post: technology not technolgy, missiles not missles; my sister told me i make lotta mistakes, i ignored her, seems it’s getting serious, yihihihi
secondly this afternoon wife called to tell me i have to go home on my own( we always walk home together) & she wont come home till 7, ok! so i jus thought:”let’s have a party.” so when i got home like any civilized man, turned on the player with volume near “max” then a quick shower, & to the kitchen, there’s a cupboard for special guests, i barely open it for personal use but i sometimes have the right to enjoy myself; to my surprise not as many as bottles i expected, gotta remember to buy a box of whatever-may next time i go to anchorage. (no i cant go out & buy whatever i like, it’s !)
so i took something that looked like a bottle of claret & ran upstairs, puter on, speakers on, volume up, goooooooooo. i chatted for nearly an hour, when wife announced her arrival. luckily i didnt have time to drink more than a few sips & at the moment the bottle’s under our bed, im waiting for her to sleep so i can put it back, she’s gonna kill me if she finds out. (im 99.9% sure she doesnt read my blog hihihhii).
what’s going on in my crazy mind: feeling guilty, really guilty, sorta ashamed. i promise to be a good boy, you know it was all devil’s fault, he misled me,  i was deceived. do i look innocent now?!?
any way while chatting i got a few funny notes:
“you’re having domestic problems.
having a family of my own means im richer than you
having a family means that’s normal & im not crazy”
answer: it’s not like that, sometimes unpaid bills make me go nuts. & having a family means in a period of my life i made a suicidal, stupid….. decision & now im paying for the consequences.
confession: im hell sorry for soundin a bit p.i.a (pain in the @$$). i got my check & im going to bank tomorrow, yipppeeeee.
& the last word, my dearest person in the world bought me a new pair of climbing shoes. hhooooooooorrrrraaaaayyyyyy. have i ever mentioned how much i love her. :-X
i dont have any problem with anyone except the neighbor’s dog.
those who have problem with me better fuck their brains with hhhhmmmm pumpkin!
note: any financial help or advice for next month is welcome!
sincerely
happy hellboy aka hellboy in heaven

have you ever thought about thinking?

all this morning till now many things came & went through my mind, analyzed, concluded & stored or may be dumped. things we need to think about every now & then in order not to get lost in this technolgy zoo. there are times i gotta remind myself im not a monkey, gotta follow my own logics not others.
sometimes i want my posts be something to ponder not a hollow crap; but i didnt make here for that reason so never mind.
this world sucks, there’s no end to these endless wars, people cant make peace, why? a simple answer cos peace means no use of missles, no use of missles means no factory to produce them, no factory means lotta people gonna be jobless. so fight fight fight im working on a new alloy probably cool for marine use so go on!
a while ago i thought i had to seperate real & virtual life, now i feel there’s not much difference. my intimate buds are as unavailable as the guys i met in net & never wanna meet in reallity (except a few). im jus wondering am i as unavailable as my friends? it seems i am, thought i cared but now i jus say wtf, go to hell.
& as long as nobody expect me to think but illegaly i do it many times, better read something funny, this is specially for sandra
“Senior Moment”

Two elderly ladies had been friends for
many decades. Over the years they had
shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one
looked at the other and said, “Now don’t
get mad at me…..I know we’ve been friends
for a long time…..but I just can’t think of your
name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t
remember it. Please tell me what your
name is.”

Her friend glared at her. For at least three
minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”

big lessons from small ones

looking at my life jar, i can proudly say i’ve changed a good deal in the last few months, but there’s one thing i still cant solve & that’s depression. i hate myself those times i drown in my fucking whirlpools of depression, it’s all the same, nothing gained, a lot lost.
me & meg try our best not to fight, well i do whatever i can not to make her angry but hell women always find something to begin a quarrel (looking devilishly innocent).
for a while we were doing fine; though i felt our relation’s way too platonic, i didnt dare to protest (pretending to sound good, so please pretend you believe what im writing). cut the long story short, the other day a friend told me that my wife told his wife (nah it’s not an iq test) im not paying much attention to her, i was like kiss my ass, why she hasnt told me directly!?! that doesnt gimme the right to be mad but as long as im quite a good bitch i was hell furious, as a result i gave myself several days rest away from home.
back home, nothing changed. jus sleeping on the sofa, a few yes & no when necessary & hell let that little thing cry as much as she likes, im not gonna pay any attention to her.
so this afternoon i was sitting on the sofa staring at tv watching nothing, when my little creature appeared infronna my eyes, i love her when she makes her way to where ever she wants on her tiny little feet, jus like marco polo exploring the world. talking a few words in her own language & pointing to her “ted in pumpkin” book, was enough for me to understand what she wants. the next minute she was sitting on my lap, listening to the book i’ve read her more than 100th times.
conclusion: idiot dont make simple things look complicated; you’re a real psycho & you better wash your sick brain.
happy ending: me, meg & alex had our dinner out at subway, Pizza! i hit my head against the wall so everything’s back to normal. guess i have to learn lotta things from alex than teaching her new things. sometimes i love my life look like cheap tv shows i dont watch.

running away from you

things come & go non-stop, giving me no time to sort ‘em out. but wtf i dont care.
so i was outta town for 3 days (that’s my excuse for not blogging), some kinda mission unpossible, doing some shit for the company & makin more bucks; why do i sound like miserly mercenary guys nowadays?!?!
actually i was giving my brain a bit of rest, no crying baby & shouting wife for a few days.
as long as we’ve done a few things & dunno whatelse to do with the rest of summer, me & wife began our fighting sessions, but this time we dont break anything cos it’s not at all economic neither romantic.
back to my runaway, on the way back home i suggested we better hike the way home instead of taking the plane. super genius idea from a dumbass! everyone agreed. it was a cool experience, well cold one cos i had to stand in a river with some fucking cold water for 5 minutes helping others to pass without getting wet & me soaking to death. i love myself when i act like this shitty superbastard responsible guys, uuughhhh.
walk walk walk , then night arrived & we had to camp. me & a few guys put up our tent ( i really enjoy these kinda work) then had dinner all together & others went to sleep, me outside escorting some beetles back to their home cos mr sun was still out & i cant sleep with the lights on.
sometime round 11 i decided i better creep into my sleeping bag, i crawled inside & hell they’d put my bag right beside the only woman we had with us. nice guys, i jus yelled abit but nobody paid any attention so i told myself “wife wouldnt know & it’s jus a night” ( meg’s hell huffy about these kinda things). after a hard try i made myself sleep, but not for long cos sometime round 1 i heard my neighbor calling another bitch sleeping by my side, as far as it looked like a none of my business matter i continued pretending i was asleep, but then i heard a horrible, dreadful, gory, disgusting, ghastly fierce sound of puking, omg not on my sleeping bag.
beep beep beep, bang flat line. Ms neat fussy persnickety emptied all the ingredients of her guts on my beloved sleeping bag in a flash of light. i have 2 other sleeping bags but this one was my warmest newest & the most favorite one.god bless its soul.
me & Ms. nice yada yada yada spent a while cleaning her mess. i spent the rest of night praying to lord mr sun wakes up early but nobody listened.
everyone enjoyed the hike, i was back home with painful legs, blistered feet, sunburned looking like native americans with a stinky shitty nasty yucky sleeping bag & no excuse to make, god i love being a turtle!
i spent the rest of my weekend washing my sleeping bag with bare hands, soap ,washig powder & surely water.(no washing machine idiots!)
im sure i wont suggest things like this in near future.
im waiting miserably for my salary so i can buy something for the wife to end these wars! ( that sentence looked so romantically foolish or foolishly romantic, honestly i want new climbing shoes!)

bang

hei im back, a bit busy here & there. praying to lord this month finish asap cos im facing serious financial problems. try to post more later.
today’s chuckle:”Chickens”
One day a State Trooper was pulling off
an expressway near Chicago. When he
turned onto the street at the end of the ramp,
he noticed someone at a chicken place
getting into his car. The driver placed the
bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in
and drove off with the bucket still on top
of his car.

So the trooper decides to pull him over
and perform a community service by giving
the driver his chicken.

So he pulled him over, walked up to the car,
pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it
to the driver. The driver looks at the trooper
and says, “No thanks, I just bought some.”

default

i have many obsessions (phobias not included!), one mentioned before. the second one is making friends, cyber or whatever, i jus like expanding the people i know but i dont like places like myspace, orcut, hi5, friendster,multiply ….., dunno why!
fortunately im not good at keeping friends so wife doesnt have the problem of dealing with ‘em. actually i dont care much about ‘em (family obsession, or may be narcissism) for example i didnt know my closest buddy had an accident a month ago untill he called, so never count on me as a friend, period.
but about e-friends, e-pals or whatever you call. it’s fine to have many of ‘em specially when you’re restless or bored. so i decided to write a default e-mail & send it to whoever i like.
note: levels of friendship:
1. chatroom: hell i dunno this guy
2. chat every now & then: something like knowing a given A.S.L. that has the possibility of 1/4 or to be accurate 1/8 to get the real answer
3. chatting everyday: these guys are as idle as you, wasting too much time by net, not worth caring about
4. guys in e-groups: hhhmmm not too bad, still dunno much
5.blog friends: they are all within blogs, jus visitors & they jus know as much as reading your posts, most of the times you even dont have their e-mails (thanks wordpress for the e-mail part)
6. e-pals: this group is the best in the net, on a regular basis you can find people trustworthy to share some of your identity (watch serial killers!); or on the other hand lie as much as you like
7. guys we meet in the street: jus to say hello & this stuff, may be talking about weather
8. cow-orkers or co-workers: the first include idiots, the second hhhmm they’re fine to work with
9. in-laws & other relatives of wife/husband: they suck lovingly (not true about moi, uuggghhhh)
10.friends: hhhmmm these are great to spend a while with, stay in their houses when you have no where to go or dont wanna pay for hotels, going out & sometimes borrowing money
11. your relatives & family: up to you to decide!

jebsus i didnt wanna say these, ok back to my mail, here it is:
dear sir/madam
it was a pleasure you popped out on my screen on (put the date here). as far as my limited knowledge informed me you look like a proper idiot person to keep in touch.
i would be glad if you agree to become my e-pal for (put the length of time).
please feel free to write whatever crap came to your mind.
for additional information please never try to ask my phone number or address.
please answer the below questions so i may know more about you. thanks in advance.
1. age:        sex:          location:
2. are you terrorist?
3. do you know how to make a bomb?
4. do you have gun?
5. have you ever shot someone or killed anyone?
6. have you ever gone to jail?
7. do you want me to give your mirandas?
8. do you suffer from mental disorder/diabetes/cancer/ schizophrenia…..?
9. have you ever been raped/molsted/drugged?
10.  do you drink much or do drugs?
11. do you work? if yes, what is your job?
12.do you have university degree?
13. how much do you earn per month?
14. do you own where you live/ you car?
15. how much dough you have in your bank account?
16. are you married?
17. do you have any kids or pets?
18. do you want me to visit you in near future?
19. can you find me a job there?
20.  can you speak English?
21. do you want to share some of your money with me?

some very very very minor questions:
just tell me about:
your favourite color/ meal/sport/ car/ video game/ movie / sexuality & whatever that might interest me, you can talk about your religion if you like.

and the last part:
1. do you agree with same sex marriage?
2. what do you think about global warming?
3. do you watch big brother?
4. liberal or democrat?
after answering all those questions with full details you have to wait for a week so i can decide whether i want you as my e-pal or not.
sincerely yours
Hellboy
******************
for those guys who are dying to be my friend, leave your e-mail address in the comment section. im gonna contact you sooner or later.
or you can visit me at hell.kom!

Brilliant Women

i got this in my mailbox & couldnt help myself not to post it here. if you feel a bit p.o.ed it’s your problem. dont worry someone gonna kick my ass asa she reads it! yohahahaha

Women over 50 don’t have babies because
they would put them down and forget where
they left them.

One of life’s mysteries is how a 2 pound
box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometime
leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is
to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town
is that when you don’t know what you’re
doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight because by then, your body and
your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday,
along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my
thighs kept rubbing together and setting
my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You hang something in your
closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when
they say things like, “You know, sometimes
I just forget to eat.” Now I’ve forgotten my
address, my mother’s maiden name, and
my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat.
You have to be a special kind of stupid
to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with
her birth control pills. She had 14 kids,
but she doesn’t give a darn.

The trouble with some women is that
they get all excited about nothing and
then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical
symptoms of stress are: eating too much,
impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are
they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect
day.

I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret
is that nobody older than 30 can fit into
their stuff.

lost in sanatarium or kinda sleepless

this shitty creepy crap walked on my nerves  & didnt lemme sleep! hope you get headaches, cos i have one now

to every begining, there’s end;

to every word, there’s meaning;

to every silence , there’s nuisance;

to every joy, there’s sorrow;

to every success, there’s lose;

to every happiness, there’s depression;

to every unanswered prayer, there’s reason;

to every hope, there’s regret;

to every rise, there’s fall;

to every love, there’s grudge;

to every love, there’s hate;

 to every birth, there’s DEATH;

in this world of likes & dislikes,

in this combination of opposites;

why are you running so fast, careless to everything;

stop a second, look around,

in the fabulous castle of now,

the second you’re in, you’re out;

remember your happy moments & forget your sad times;

try to forgive everyone & forget all bad ones;

but if you cant, dont worry;

just die & join me in HELL

pics again& S.S

why nobody asked about my header?

so i think you know ‘em!they are now my 24 hour favourite band.

STONE SOUR, check here if you like

alzheimer

alzheimer:degenerative brain disorder that develops in mid to late adulthood. It results in a progressive and irreversible decline in memory and a deterioration of various other cognitive abilities. The disease is characterized by the destruction of nerve cellsand neural connections inthe cerebral cortex of thebrain and by a significant loss of brain mass.
how old is mid adulthood? guess im that old to have alzheimer, i forgot to get my new glasses i ordered over 2 weeks ago, omfg!
not much time for blogging, busy with guests, honestly practicing shooting at moving shits
song for the weekend: through the glass by s.s.
feeling: bothered through the glass
question for the rest of my life to ponder: why do people think we’re a happily married couple?! aint it too early to judge? would they think the same even if i suffocate my nightmare?!
have a nice weekend, meg’s uncle’s so fucking cool!
note: look at those pics carefully, the first one’s my new glasses & the second one’s my desk, something’s missing there, thefirst correct answer can spend a week in my house
http://lastbreath.files.wordpress.com/2006/07/moi-glasses.JPG
moi-glasses.JPG
http://lastbreath.files.wordpress.com/2006/07/desk.JPG
desk.JPG

Immigration Laws

1. If you migrate to this country, you must
speak the native language.

2. You have to be a professional or an investor.
No unskilled workers allowed.

3. There will be no special bilingual programs
in the schools, no special ballots for elections,
all government business will be conducted in
our language.

4. Foreigners will NOT have the right to vote
no matter how long they are here.

5. Foreigners will NEVER be able to hold
political office.

6. Foreigners will not be a burden to the
taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps, no
health care, or other government assistance
programs.

7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but
it must be an amount equal to 40,000 times
the daily minimum wage.

8. If foreigners do come and want to buy land
that will be okay, BUT options will be restricted.
You are not allowed waterfront property. That
is reserved for citizens naturally born into this
country.

9. Foreigners may not protest; no demonstrations,
no waving a foreign flag, no political organizing,
no bad-mouthing our president or his policies;
if you do you will be sent home.

10. If you do come to this country illegally,
you will be hunted down and sent straight
to jail.

Harsh, you think?

The above laws happen to be the immigration
laws of MEXICO!

bathroom marathon & we’re not hotel

word of the day: crap wrap
there are many things me & my wife have the same point of view. we’re quite like each other specially in stupidity cases.
so last afternoon me & meg decided to make a new dessert, something with cream, palm, cherry & this stuff, honestly it tasted great; but never ever dare to give it a try cos we spent all night somewhere between bathroom & bedroom.

the other good thing that gonna happen to us in an hour time is arrival of meg’s uncle with his family including a dog & 2 naughty boys. ( im gonna shoot this dog!)
im jus wondering why some people think alaska’s a cool place for summer holidays, dont we have nice bitches oooppps beaches in california, great weather in texas or splendid museums in DC, hell go to canadah but not alaska.
on a further note if once again i decided to get married (that’d be the extreme of mental disorder) i’d invite every tom,dick & harry to my wedding, nothing private so they have no excuse to assume my place as a hotel.

it’s 13th & in a month time my demon will be a year old, omg!
note: usage of angel & demon
angel: when your baby’s sick, you feel like paying attention to her, she’s quiet……
demon: when she’s not angel, this is used for everyday referring.
today’s chuckle:”Thermos”

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious
about a shiny object, she asks, “What is that?”

The store clerk responds, “It’s a thermos.”

The blond then asks, “What does it do?”

The clerk says “It keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold.” So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her.
Her boss, also a blond, asks, “What is
that shiny object?”

She replies “It’s a thermos.”
He asks, “What does it do?”

She says, “It keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold.”

He then asks, “What do you have in there?”

“Two cups of coffee and a popsicle.”

alaska, cooking & lotta dunno what to call

lately i found some time to think, ponder & conclude what i want from my life , nothing to discuss here cos i spent lotta time discussing it in bed & not sleeping properly.
a few hours ago i was bathing alex (this time i did it willingly) & after a few quiet days, she began singing, jebus, she’s gonna be a great singer but nothing like britney cos she sucks like shit.

listening to slayer for several hours, i feel a bit dizzy with headaches here & there, i better ask alex to sing a bit.
note: never go shopping after watching too many metal music. to my stupidity i went out to buy alex a new pacifier cos she lost the one she had, so i was there in a pharmacy trying to remember why i left home, then i killed my grey cells to remember the name of that thing, hell i knew what i wanted but forgot its name so i tried to describe it.
me:” lady i want one of those little things babies put in their mouth
that lady:”huh?”
me:’ eeemmm i mean that thing they suck on it, it’s made of rubber.
that lady:” i dont get it” (honestly she looked at me in a way saying i was talking about condoms, did i?)
me looking up & down the shelves trying to find what i wanted:” look, it’s this small (using my fingers) & it has holes on it- idiot, surely no condoms have holes!
&&&&&&&&&&& 10 minutes later, i was still in pharmacy
at last i had an idea, i called wife & asked her why i was out, such a simple word, PACIFIER, it wasnt that difficult but sometimes i forget words, guess i have alzheimer, eeeerrr what was i writing about??!
never mind!
am i supposed to write about cooking?! nah, i dont want
so the last thing is about our neighbor, he’s a joiner & now building his own home. im working on the plot of our future home (gonna share it when finished), may be next summer i start building it.
so what about alaska?! hhhmmm nothing to say, the weather’s great, it’s summer & it’s not snowing.
that’s it.
my new quest: write high quality content posts( that’d be a miracle if it happens, lol)

commenting rules

i was thinking the other day about nothing, (never doubt my thinking ability) when outta nowhere my brain switched to wondering about my levels of respect to other people.
honestly i dont respect people as individuals, i dont fucking care about anyone, a respectable person to me is someone with a working brain who has something to say worth wasting time to listen. that’s why i barely attended my classes, the profs always bore me with things i could easily read in books, nothing new, nothing interesting.
the same thing was true about school, i hated my teachers, they seemed so stupid. some ignored my talents ,the others paid too much attention, i dunno why they couldnt make balance.
i have the insatiable desire to attract attention(like other people), but when they start praising me i jus run away, kinda mental disorder, i know.
the second matter to pay attention is how i express my point of view. i guess there’s something wrong about the tone, people jus cant decide whether im serious or joking. if you know me a little it wont be too hard to decide, i love offending others; jus tell ‘em what i think, then it’s up to ‘em to understand it or not.
i like everything mixed with humor, make it more difficult to decide what i really mean, but that’s fun. honestly there are times i dont know what i really meant, these times are attached with an apology depending on the listener.
but the thing that really make me wonder why some people are so complicated is their reaction. i have more fun in cyber world cos they hardly know me.
personally i dont like commenting on other people’s posts though i read their blogs occasionally. most of the times i dunno what to say that sounds ridiculous,funny & irrelevant, still inoffensive, so i spend more time thinking about what to comment than reading the post itself (yo know it’s not true).
apart from so much energy i waste on commenting, i expect people to get the point.
so the other day i said something not really irrelevant so not really funny & i didnt expect to get any answer with such details. i was really p.o.ed when read the reply.
firstly i thought:” hey dude do yo think im that stupid that cant count or dunno how to find the rest!”
secondly:”omg im not a small kid, i was jus kidding”
now im thinking:” that’s the best way to tell me not to comment cos you’re not funny at all, ok i got it,a bit late but i got it.” on a second thought, may be some people respect others & are really that precise.”
either way, im gonna kick my own ass & remember not to comment like that again
note: i doubt range read this, but i apologize for my stupidity.
here’s what i was talking about:
1. moi- July 2006
6 other chapters to read?!omfg i felt like starwars or other star things. let’s act like spams, well done ,your site is great ?!? im waiting for yo in hell.kom.
btw i didnt get this part:”Ed. note: Some images of art contained in this post might be unsuitable for younger readers.” can you tell me which one you meant?
2. range – July 11, 2006
For the note, the sexy robots images could be seen by some as too erotic for younger readers. Just a warning, like when I use explicit language, I warn the readers so that they have a choice of skipping it. Since I don’t classify The Memoirs as an adult read, I prefer to warn ahead.
A note on the story. I have written 7 chapters until now, there are a lot more coming up. I have finished 2 more chapters and will continue posting in the coming weeks. I’m going to try to expand this short story into a novella.
Also, the chapters that you see at the bottom are the ones that I have already written, not the upcoming ones. To see them all in chronological order, please visit
http://range.wordpress.com/stories/
Upcoming chapter names will appear as they are written as well.
Thanks for your visit and comments.

missing pic from last post

murmuring nightmares

since i was a kid i had this obsession to do things i was told not to do. so my mom used this to make me do things she wanted. now i play the same trick on myself when i have to do things i dont like or things i jus wanna do but not in the mood.
so everytime i have nothing in my mind to blog about i say im gonna quit & surely i wont. well sometimes i really wanna do but cant.
i was thinking of a page to explain why i made this blog, but that’s for the other day.
im back to normal, my mind working the same shit as usual & all senses are working properly.
there are times i dunno why i let my emotions control my so-called brain; yesterday was one of those days.
dont have much time to write, but seeing my little angel around smiling again give me enough shit to move on. actually i dont remember much about what i said in the last few days, im sure i have crossed my lines more than once & hurted lotta people.
it’s now a little operation on her little lung, finished & jus left a little ache in the deepest darkest part of my soul. it’s hard to confess but i couldnt stop the thought of “whatif i lose her”.
im happy she’s still with us, as small as ever she is, as smart as she is & the same pain in the ass as usual. alexis i love yo, never ever do this shit again, i have a weak heart.
on the fun part, i drew another pic, i dunno where the idea came from but it looks quite smart.
you can check here for the story:
http://planetofzorgs.blogspot.com

resurrecution

quote of the day:”dont fuck with me, i promise not to harm you”

8 days without blogging, not regreting, not trying to convince myself to write any crap, not really reading any blog, all shit, nothing satisfying.
some how lost, some how found myself.
mountains always fascinated me, i love nature though not paid much attention recently.
after a long time i did it & there in the middle of the god’s power & creation i saw a little creature, something forgotton but not helpless, something like me, the part i almost forgot, something hell powerful, beyond my own abilities. i discovered myself again like a shadow outta nowhere belonging to no one, so perfect still so untamed.
i needed a few days to catch up with daily creepy stuff, to get lost in places i dont belong, to forget what i am.
honestly there’s no joy in blogging nor readin blogs anymore, they seem so far away, nothing about what i need,jus shit crap shout cry anger, WTF!?
this world’s way too meaningless, i have no ear to hear all those worthless words again & again every day.
it’s jus a case of running & hiding. running away from the truth, the reality ;hiding from ourselves, lying to everyone,specially to ourselves.
im tired of pretending to be someone im not, someone i dunno, someone i enjoy being, something evilish down there to satisfy my demons with fresh lies.
seems honesty is dead in me & lotta other people. no chance to trust anyone, a life of misunderstandings & wrong steps; why everyone has so many faces?!
standing on the peak gave me no positive feeling, jus a spark of what i am, realizing i dont hate myself but other people, my endless desire of attracting attention, acting like wise guys, pretending i wasnt afraid when i was frightened like hell.
so hard to say what i felt & saw. im jus tired of pretendig to be a weak helpless soul, it’s not my kind, never was & never will be, jus a random pleasure.
i jus found out i can be so fucking sociable & still hate other people to death. ignorant, self-centered, proud, wayward, unpredictable, aggressive, rugged & energetic as i was.
i hate talking, i hate letting people in my own castle,i try to be different from other people cos they are way too boring, i like thinking but never protest when im sure it’s useless. i like writing crap to pretend i dont care. im tired of hiding my real side, so i think i better give up pretending & jus be myself cos there’s nothing wrong with me.i killed humanity with my own hands.
I AM TIRED OF BLOGGING SO I BETTER STOP IT FOR A WHILE!
“Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying”

overkill

feel like killing someone, jus a bullet right in the head, painless & fast or maybe in the stomach, 15 minutes to die.
hhhmmm nope i better hang someone, i really wanna hang my bros, they deserve death.
im sure they are one of the worst siblings any one can have & im worst than them!
we’re going for hiking in 36 hours time. till then im sure i have to bury something/someone.
can i bury myself?!?!?
quote of the day:”you shit yer life, struggle, fight & get yerself outta shit, thinking life’s something worth living then you open yer eyes & see someone close to you is standing on the same shit, not learned a lesson, just feeling proud of himself to taste the same shit thinking you were all wrong & something better’s gonna happen.you have 3 choices help him or push him to fall deeperor simply shoot him dead”
i wanna hang my lil bro & shoot the elder; im sick of both of ‘em.
time to pray to Lord to save my soul, im blessed with shit!
************************
July chuckle
The Catholic Church’s air conditioning broke down,
so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the
ducts and figure out what was wrong. As the man
peeked down through one of the vents in the
sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling
by the altar, apparently saying her rosary. Since
the man was a fundamental Baptist, he thought it’d
be funny to try and mess with the lady’s mind. In
his best authoritative voice, he said, “This is
Jesus. Your prayers will be answered.”

The little old lady didn’t even blink, just kept
on saying her prayers. The man decided maybe she
didn’t hear him, and tried again. “This is Jesus,
the Son of G~d! Your prayers will be answered!”

Again, she didn’t react at all. Mustering up a
big breath of air, the man decided to try again.
“THIS IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF G~D!
YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!”

The lady looks up and says, “SHUT UP! I’M
TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!”

PS
HAVE A GREAT TIME ON 4TH OF JULY, but dont feel too much patriotic, amigos!
why am i bombarded with spams?!somebody help moi

goodbye England, goodbye Brazil

it wasnt fair, jus a creepy game. i knew England was the one who leaves the tournament but i still feel portugal wasnt good enough to win, i hate scolari, he jus knew what to do, mental war & that was enough for shitty rooney to make his way outta the field.
i shouted so much for over 120 minutes that i felt quite voiceless after the match beside the angry wife & other members who wanted to sleep on a lovely saturday morning & ready to shoot me dead!
apart from the tears for the loss, im so happy for france, Brazil was so fucking proud, they needed to be wiped outta the list before the semi-final.
so on tuesday germany must defeat italy & on wednesday france gotta kick portugal ass, hhhmmm that’s my prediction so the final’s hold on sunday germany facing france & im really on germans side! lucky neighborhood i wont be around for semifinals but they wont miss me long for final, they have enough time to sleep till 10 am & go to church to pray i die before the match.
the calender shows i missed last june blogging & first july. schittt, i wasnt jus in the mood of typing & way too angry to not to use more than limited amount of improper words.
in my dreadful dreams i thought of a vlog, releasing the anger & show the poor human beings how devil i can be. thanks heaven i didnt do it cos something really bad might happen to the camera!
to end this post i put the match review of yesterday match as a reminder of how much i hate Eriksson, Scolari & all the bitches there to make me angry!;)
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
England 0-0 Portugal

Another quarter-final, another penalty shoot-out and more World Cup heartbreak for England after a 31- defeat to Portugal on spot kicks following a stalemate.
Wayne Rooney was sent off for a flash of temper in the second half, leaving his 10 team-mates to battle through 120 minutes.

They did it heroically but crumbled once again when it came to penalties.

Only Owen Hargreaves found the net out of four England players and Cristiano Ronaldo scored the winner.

Luiz Felipe Scolari completed his hat-trick over Sven-Goran Eriksson and the Swede’s dreams are left in tatters.

Portugal move onto a semi-final in Munich on Wednesday, England come home and Eriksson hands the reins to Steve McClaren.

England players were in tears as they wondered what might have been if they had not lost Rooney in a 62nd-minute tussle with Ricardo Carvalho and Ronaldo.

Rooney and Ronaldo are supposed to be friends – they shared a joke before the game in the tunnel.

But there was nothing friendly about the way Manchester United’s Portuguese winger got his club-mate sent off.

Rooney was battling to keep possession from three Portugal defenders when he raked his studs across the leg of Carvalho, who was on the floor trying to win the ball.

Chelsea defender Carvalho over-reacted and Ronaldo sprinted to the referee, apparently to demand a red card.

Rooney turned to his Manchester United team-mate and pushed him away.

Referee Horatio Elizondo then reached for the red card and sent Rooney off.

Elizondo, from Argentina, sent Beckham off in the World Club Championships in 1999.

Ronaldo instantly became the target of abuse for the thousands of England fans packed inside the AufSchalke Stadium.

He was jeered for his dramatic dive to win a free-kick under pressure from Ashley Cole a few minutes later.

Beckham, off the pitch injured, hobbled to the touchline to make his feelings known.

The Rooney red had many similarities to his own sending-off in France `98, for a split-second of indiscipline against Argentina.

Aaron Lennon was on and looking sharp but Eriksson had to reshuffle after the red card.

Joe Cole made way for Peter Crouch, who went up front on his own, and Gerrard moved to the left of midfield.

Lennon had a sharp chance to win it for England in the 83rd minute when keeper Ricardo failed to hold a stinging free-kick from Frank Lampard.

The rebound fell straight to the Tottenham teenager and he hit the target with a left-foot shot.

But it lacked power and Ricardo was able to recover in time to save it.

Portugal made their extra man show in the closing minutes, pushing England back.

Paul Robinson made an brilliant fingertip save from Luis Figo in the 79th minute and Rio Ferdinand made a crucial saving tackle to halt Nuno Valente’s run at goal.

Robinson, dubbed a weak link by the Portuguese in the run-up to the game, made good saves from Viana and Maniche as the 90 minutes ticked away.

Terry went close to snatching a dramatic winner in stoppage time at the end of normal time.

His effort was deflected over by former Newcastle midfielder Viana and the game went into extra-time.

Terry’s booking came on the half-hour and it was harsh.

The Chelsea skipper made a strong aerial challenge to beat Tiago to the ball.

Both players landed in a heap and needed treatment but referee Elizondo showed a yellow card to the England defender.

Terry picked himself up and battled on bravely.

England had started the game much more positively than any of their previous four in the competition.

Owen Hargreaves was outstanding in front of the back-four and both Lampard and Rooney forced saves from Ricardo in the first half.

England lost Beckham, seven minutes into the second half. He fell awkwardly after a heavy challenge and, despite trying to continue, was forced off.

The England skipper sat in tears on the bench as Lennon made an instant impact.

The Spurs teenager jinked his way into the penalty area on one run and, when Rooney miskicked, Joe Cole fired narrowly over.

A wonderful chance dropped to Lampard but he miscued it horribly and it bounced into the turf and then over.

Moments later, Rooney was off and the game totally changed.

England’s 10 men dug in and showed real courage to take it into extra-time but were still able to create chances as a breathless game pulsed with excitement.

Eight minutes into extra-time and Miguel made a brilliant clearance to stop Crouch nodding a Gerrard cross into the net.

Robinson saved a skimming shot from Simao and Ronaldo flashed a 25-yarder just over the bar.

England appealed for a penalty when Valente tackled Lennon in the 106th minute but the Everton defender took the ball and the referee was correct not to point to the spot.

Helder Postiga, who scored a late equaliser when the teams met in Euro 2004, had the ball in the England net but it was rightly ruled out for offside.

Eriksson settled for penalties and sent on Jamie Carragher to take one.

But England’s best chance of winning the World Cup in 40 years disappeared, somewhat predictably, as Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher missed penalties.

end

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